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Posts posted by Moonie

  1. Is this possible? :think: I have amber star who has just taken to jumping on the back of my speckledy. (just like cockerals do) I have only had the speckledy for a about a month and the amber star (florence) was the bottom of the pecking order before my new ones arrived. So is she just asserting herself or could she be gay? She is also crowing a lot, I think she thinks she is a cockeral!?! BTW she lays eggs so definately female!! :lol: All advice most grateful as i think my speckledy is getting a little fed up!

  2. I had the same problem with two of my girls, unfortunately i had to separate them on/off for 6 months. I then tried lending them to my friend to drop them back in the PO for a few weeks, but they were returned early for bad behaviour!!! As soon as they came back the worse of the two started attacking one of my ex batts ( a lot of blood). I had then at that point decided to have the two of the bullies rehomed. They are now very happy living on a farm with geese, guinea fowl, chooks and cocks, the geese keep them inline. I still go and visit on a regular basis as it wasn't the easiest decision to get them rehomed. But it was the right one as both parties are alot happier.

    Hopefully yours will be resolved a lot easier than my situation and your bully calms down soon. Good luck.

  3. Controlled crying isn't leaving them all alone for hours to cry themselves back to sleep. It's for a short while, maybe a minute to start with, you go and tuck them in and they know everything is okay and mummy or daddy is nearby. Sleep is so important for both the children and the parents and you are not denying your child your love and attention if you let them cry for a bit at night in order to get sleep patterns back on track. It should only take a couple of days, not weeks and weeks.


    I will say my ED was a nightmare about sleeping, especially when she was a baby. She'd wake up and start crying and if we wren't there, within a minute, she'd be sick everywhere. My parents said we should just let her cry, but we couldn't. With her I had to sit on a chair not looking at her and slowly move the chair further and further away until I was out of the room. It took a hell of a long time I can tell you.


    It would be interesting to hear from people whose kids are now grown up who let their them sleep with them night after night and how that got resolved. If it did :shock:


    When my daughter was born she slept in my bed with me.

    When she was around 18 months old I got her a bed with a safety rail and had her bed next to my bed. If she woke up I would either get into her bed or she would climb in with me. This made falling back to sleep much easier as it saved having to keep putting her into her own bed again and again etc. She is now 9 years old and in her own room (through her own choice). She goes to bed at 8.30pm every night (again her own choice) and sleeps soundly through the night.


    My son did have a cot right next to my bed but 9 times out of 10 he would end up in my bed. He is now 4 and has his bed next to mine. He rarely wakes up in the night but if he does-he just gets into my bed and falls straight back to sleep.

    He is now starting to feel that he is nearly ready to sleep in the other bedroom. (His own choice).


    I feel that because my children knew that they could be with me for as long as they felt they needed to-it has helped them to feel safe and secure and make their own decision as to when they sleep alone.


    I believe that there is no right and wrong with children. Every family is different and indeed every child is different. I just think that we should all think 'out of the box' and stop worrying about conforming with what and how society expects us to be.


    Do what is best for you and your children and who cares what anyone else thinks! :wink:


    In many cultures families share beds/rooms etc. All other mammals sleep with their offspring to keep them safe and warm at night.

    Us humans are a funny bunch really and rather than go with what we feel-we end up going along with what other people do, listen to what other people think is right etc.


    Just my opinion of course but I certainly won't live my life or raise my children according to what is OK with the 'majority' if I don't feel it's right for us. :D



    Scrunchee, I loved your post and you have made me decide not to do the whole controlled crying thing, my son slept till 3am last night and rather than have a battle to send him back to room at the distress of all of us, he nestled in with me. We both slept until 7.30am .... bliss! If he knows we're there for cuddles in the dead of the night, it can only mean a more contented child .. surely! :D

  4. Carefully putting my head over the parapet..I am going to go against the grain here. I dont like CC :(


    One of several possible solutions is to break the sleep/wake cycle. Sleep is a pattern of cycles, going through different stages through the cycle before starting over again. Some stages are deep, others very light (which is when waking can occur). If you can see a pattern to his waking, similar times of the night, then you can use this as a tool to try and break the habit/cycle. As an example, if his first waking episode is usually around midnight, go to his room and gently rouse him, you dont have to wake him up completely just enough to jump his sleep cycle into restarting. It may take a little longer than CC, but its certainly less upsetting to the child.


    Have you read 'The no-cry Sleep Solution'? I really think it may offer you some more, gentler options to his waking habits than CC.


    I should point out that our 2yr 8 month old is waking up most nights, however, we just let him get in with us and we all then go to sleep. Sometimes his 9 month old baby brother is in there with us too :D My mum once told me I was 'making a rod for my own back' when I told her we did this but I completely disagreed. Letting him sleep with us works for us all because we all get sleep without the distressing crying and sobbing. It wont be like this forever. Children are only children for such a short amount of time. If I were marooned on a dessert island somewhere with my children we would sleep together, right next to me, probably in my arms so I could be sure they were safe and so that they could feel safe in return. Just because we are living in a house does not stop them from needing to feel safe and secure at night.


    At the end of the day though, this is simply my thoughts, everyone is different with very individual ideas about parenting. What works for one, wont necessarily be a solution for another. I hope you find an answer soon, Sleep deprivation is the worst.


    I totally agree with you on this one, it's customary (sp) in some countries. But have to say we don't get great quality sleep when he does come in with us so still feel tired. I have put it off for such a long time in the hope that it would resolve itself, but it hasn't so i shall see. I have heard of the technique of stirring them just before they would normally wake up as this works some how?? Any how i'll give him a week and then have a re think. But thank you for all your advice it is very much appreciated. :wink:

  5. Thanks everyone, i have seen a health visitor today, and she also suggested the dreaded controlled crying, don't talk to him, but to keep putting him back to bed. Tough as it's going to be, i'm going to just have to do it. I think i'll be a big brave girl and start tonight!!! :? Thanks for the advice, and i shall give you a little pm drcara if it just gets too tough! :shock:

    The husband will have to take over, when i hear coddle (cuddle) mummy. :(

    Anyway on a lighter note i had my wir built today by tony and i am most happy with it! :dance:

  6. Or should i say lack of sleeping advice!! My 2 yr old used to be a fabulous sleeper, but in the last 7 months, yes that's 7 months :shock: he hasn't slept the night and wakes up about 2 or 3 times a night. We have tried everything, cuddles, new bedding, leaving him cry for a short time (can't do longer, not a fan of controlled crying) :? It started off with him just having a cold which just woke him up as it would, but he hasn't got out of the habit. all advice gratefully accepted. :D Sooooooooooooooooo tired!! :wall:

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