Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CluckyBucks Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Or maybe you could spell out in broody poo 'Hen's Rights!' - i think your human would be rather shocked xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 =WIR Lavender Mabel Marjorie Think I might be getting the sack !!!! Mad woman at her desk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Welcome back ladies...you have been missed !!! Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atsw Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Yes, welcome back! I was beginning to wonder if the recent uprisings had been quashed . .... but clearly not, which is fantastic . Andrew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 Margaret - this sack wouldn't be of corn would it? Well it is most exciting here. Edna with her bald head, the scruffy obi hen now stopped laying for a few days and dropping feathers. That ingrate wiggy pops out one of her perfectly formed almost round eggs daily, but they are TINY I tell you. Not like my masterpieces - once I decide to start laying again. We are being taken on daily joy rides to the veg e bule gardin. Large small hooman supervises our visit - purely to protect from paparazzi, I'm sure. It is thrilling. There are all sorts of rides there for our pleasure. My favourite is the brassica jungle. In this you have to make your way through a sort of tall green maze, and stretch to pick juicy caterpillars from carefully sculpted leaves which look like lace curtains. Extra points can be gained by eating a white butterfly - they tend to get a little stuck in the throat but have built on tooth picks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Donna here again, Wow, I'm so glad that I can start venting my displeasure at the hoomans again here. Well, its been rather eventful since I last post on here. Firstly, the Walk in Run has been finished which I have to say is rather fabulous, but they have only gone and brought in 4 new sisters for us and apparently 3 ex-batts are coming in a fortnight, now I don't know what an ex-batt is but I don't like the sound of it. Mum keeps telling me that she hopes it will make me appreciate how spoiled I am as I am a battery breed. I am insulted. The 4 new sisters aren't going anywhere so we have decided to accept them, although we make sure that they know that all exciting treats that the hoomans bring are for us first and not them. Mum was sneaky the other day though, as she put some corn in the run, so Rose, SJ and myself ran in, and she locked us in the run and fed the new sisters grapes. I got revenge on the hooman male though and bit his lip the following day. We are still wrecking the veg at every opportunity, Rose is fairly confident that the hoomans will not have sprouts this year, and has even taught Peri (the bossy new sister) how to get into the hard to reach places to do the most damage. Bye for now Donna PS> Margaret, I like your style with the corn, that is my favourite trick too, I wait for the hooman to open the bin that contains the food and corn, and whilst she tops up the food in the run I eat the corn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneyolktoanother Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hello Donna, What we ladies have to tolerate. I believe my hooman has gone broody. A large broody cage has been erected in our grasslands. The female hooman keeps going in, but they haven't locked it yet. It' a bit flimsy, made of fabric and tied to the ground with string. Small hoomans keep going on about cam ping. Do hoomans go ping when they're broody? They really should zip her in and let her get on with it. Bit worried about broody poo though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, you know what to do . Chuck her off her nest as soon as she looks like she's getting comfy. Stick a big brick in it. Dunk her bum in a big bucket of cold water. She might well go 'ping' if you do that . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolateeclaire Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hi Brandy, Bluebelle and the other ladies, My name is Zena and I am thrilled to be able to learn from all your wisdom. So I have a question - what on earth are the grey little bits of stuff in the round lilac thing attached to our house????? Buffy says that she thinks it might be edible - but I have to tell your that Favourelles are not the brightest chickens in the Cube. I mean why on earth would one want to eat something so small and colourless??? Lets face it it doesnt take a lot of flapping and squawking to get green curly food, long slippery white food, green and purple round food, red squashy food, yellow little bits of dotty food - well the list is endless. So I take it is is OK to absolutlely ignore the stuff. Love kissses and squawks Zena - Black Orphington and ruler of Cluckingham Palce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mostin Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I love this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Zena, its Rose here, Donna is having a night off from typing because my news is more exciting. I feel your pain about the bits in the lilac thing. They put the same things in our green things. I can confirm that they are edible, as we do all eat them. However, we only eat them because the evil doing hoomans keep us locked in the Walk in Run until the afternoon and DO NOT supply us with any other edible delights. I revolted today and did not supply them with an egg. The female hooman hasn't spent much time with us the last 2 week because she has had swine flew, I can confirm that she can be a pig at times, but I have not seen any wings. So how she has managed to fly I do not know, maybe the male hooman has clipped her wings, as he did that to me and my sisters. I have been mean to the female hooman today, she wanted to add more of those bits to the green things, I think she called them "Lay errs pel ats", I don't know if thats French or something, so I jumped up and pecked her arm, and now she has a big bruise. Ha ha. Must go, I think the male hooman has got the hint and has supplied us with tasty things, must eat them before the others do. Bye for now, and stay strong girls. Rose (or Madam thug as I was called by the female hooman earlier) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 do you know, im really pleased that I dont let my girls on the forum, I can see a chicken revolt going on here cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 The chickens are revolting . (No offence, ladies .) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Tilytinkle Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Cluckinchook 3, Henpencoop Lane Buckle Crop Poultrest CH1 0NN My Dear Feathered Bokpanions It brings me great pleasure to read and connect with you all, to also know such a legal team so close to claw is fantastic. So its with great empathy I address you all with the following introductions & warmth. Firstly my apologies, I've been so very b okuppied with some new, rather nice, dames who recently moved into our cube partment that I haven't had the time of forage to notice, let alone catch up with, all of this wonderful feathered friends go bok k ssip. My attention to the feather n claw details must change. Its such a pleasure to meet you all, some allies at long last!! Ones with whom I can sympathise, share my trials & tribulations with. Such joyous boks. I'm Pandora, one of 7 flock. We roost mainly on a nice little lawn, on top of a hill with great panoramic views. ( BkHmmm, a hill which isn't always as luxurious & beautiful as it sounds, as after my long relaxing stint at 'The Holistic Soil, Sand & Ash Spa' my beautiful coiffured feather knickdusters do rather get a bit messed up & annoyingly blown around!! ) Sorry I've di bok gressed . . We have 3 hooomans who attend to our needs. They're a rather odd lot these hooomans arent they, but suffice to say 'they deliver' so we girlies have decided to ignore their idiosyncrasies & make the best of what we've got as really were in a good spot & our hooomans are training up well!! For instance - Our hooomans have a little wooden boundary fence, we all pretend to peck around the bottom of it, appearing never ever to notice just how foolishly short their wee fencing is. But every day, regular as dust and dawn, they disappear to do some kind of thing called work, as were mostly a quiet lot ( ha thats what they think when they're close by) they leave us to our own devices for a little while whilst they ' pop ' something called 'the kettle on' . Now I'm not sure why they want to wear a kettle but it gives us girlies the info we need regarding our daily sojourn & lunch out. As soon as we see the hooomans butt swaying towards their homelet cube (why they wear long legged nappies over their legs & claws & feather knickers I don't know - unless of course their legs have been plucked just like their wings . .think one of the new dames said they weren't bald wings that they were called arms ) OOh I di bok gress again!! Anyway, just thought I'd ask - but what I want to know is - when the hoooomans pop in to put their kettle on - we all jump up onto the fence & pop into next doors much bigger garden for our sojourning lunch. In this rather large luxurious garden (ours is all holes that the hoooomans don't fill in, they never replace the grass & well talk about shortage on flower beds - huh when we first moved here it was paradise!!). Anyway - we're all wondering which is the best route/method to being given the most bribery treats. As the shriek of delight when our hoooman lady sees us anywhere near her neighbours beautiful tasty flower bed she immediately brings us a bag full of grapes and starts throwing them so close to the fence we just have to return. Bless, our kind hooooman , she lifts up the chicken wire & lets us walk through - which is cool as after eating all those grapes we really cant be bothered to jump up and down again!! But the problem we have you see is one of our new big dames, she's a bit slow and all of the grapes are devoured by young Tiger Lil who doesn't arf like them so we're wondering how we can stagger the treats, intermittent like & for much longer. I mean it looks like there's another lawn too with many flower beds next door to this sojourn lunching place . .maybe if we wander over into their place too our hoooman will be sooo delighted she'll shriek even louder and bring even more grapes, maybe a mixture of red & green like she did the other day when Cordelia was trying to get into a small, think Medusa said its called a cat flap, in this next door neighbours homelet. Booookps sorry ladies, gotta fly - TigerLil is squawking at the bleedin cat again & chasing it. Now she'll be chased by the hooooman so I best go & intervene . .. always a potentially great moment in time which can be manipulated wholly to get some grapes - if i save the cat bok bok Be back soon. .meanwhile "Chooks who unite - fight for their rights together - win magnanimously together!!" Take care girlies, remember who's boss - don't take any nonsense from those hooomans they're ten a cornpenny & can be replaced!!! We have a signed treaty now!!! Best clukards Pandora PickledHen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 Oh My Dears! You are all truly magnificent! I have every confidence that you will continue the fight. I am retiring to my room again for a few days to hiss at replacement room service. The hoomans have decided to take the large broody cage to a field somewhere near cold water (which MOVES! apparently) where they are all going to dunk themselves. Lordy, this hooman broody stuff is scary. Keep up the good work ladies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolateeclaire Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hi Rose Zena here, Nice to make your acquaintence. Howver VERY worried about 2 things that you mentioned. 1 - EGG - Not sure what this is but none of us girls are involved in anything like that!!! 2. Wing clipping - Now we heard a rumour about some breeds of chicken being able to fly. Buffy says that she thinks this is true but you already know my views on brains and Favourelles. You only have to look at me to realise that body weight versus wing span means that it would never be possible to a chicken to fly. Love and squawks Zena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Maisie here . Re the EGG question, you'll know when it happens to you. It can be a bit of a shock to be honest, but once you've done one the rest are easy. Just be aware of one important fact, they taste delicious . If you're careful (wear a bib and make sure to wipe your beak afterwards) you can lay your own breakfast and eat it before the hoomans realise . I wouldn't recommend flying. It's extremely undignified and requires much ruffling of feathers afterwards to achieve that just preened look . It's just not worth it - the grass may well be greener but you're never allowed to eat it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Tilytinkle Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 (edited) We certainly will continue the fight, being even more pro active whilst youre retiring to protest & hiss at the replacement room service!! Disgraceful - temporary traumas or what - mostly not even experienced hired hands. ( Wonder if your hooomans dunk for pleasure or to fish'n'eat or maybe to preen?! Hoomans do such odd things) Our last replacement couldn't even get poor old Emily back into the run, had an anxious old time trying to persuade Em to come out from beneath the hedge - naturally once Emily came running in, miles ahead of the red faced, panic stricken temp rogue carer, as planned, we all then ran out leaving Emily in the run . .bok bok .. great fun! Our naive owners still haven't realised we do this 'Welcome' routine for every newbie she has to conjure into coming to 'attempt' to look after us!! Its great - they get really frightened as it turns to dusk ha ha then just as the look like their losing the will to live & have gathered all other neighbours to assist we all wadlde back into our run, straight up the ladders & off to bed to join Emily who by this time is fast asleep. Maybe you can all try this 'Welcome' initiation, again it means they come armed with lots of grapes for those 'just in case they wont go in - 'give'em grapes' moments' Hope your new replacement hoomans are the sort with patience generosity & kindness. ( If not eat plenty of snails & slugs, the subsequent poo's are sooo sticky and if you line the pavements, it makes a great welcoming carpet for them that won't easily wipe off their shoes - great in this weather too as it squelches over their flops, through middle of their toes . Great fun. Hmm we'll show em!! Best Cluckards Pandora Pickledhen PS For those hoomans who are supposedly/should be working, bok bok, thats what they all say every time ' SUPPOSEDLY ' 'SHOULD BE' . My hoooman is always going on about this challenging dilemma - as she sits with her cuppa - yakkering to another cuppa holder .. both saying we really should be working. Work - WORK you hooomans don't know the meaning of the word!! You've no idea how long it takes to restore the garden to its original NATURAL state, trying to remove all of those tasteless artificial forced processed flowers, purchased from some big warehouse. Then there's provider & hunter mode - chook-dancing when foraging, jumping on intruders like wood pigeons & squirrels, pecking for nutrients, (major problem with depleting soil & worms) basking & mite cleansing, wing stretching, eating our mineral & grass intake & Pooooooohing . . do any of you hooomans realise just how much energy being a chicken takes ..and thats just for starters . .survival ... I mean have you EVER laid an egg, will you ever?!!! No, so dont you go on about hard work .. all that pen pushing. We're in the real world - we sere survivors & we lay daily!! Its a dangerous world out there, its very hard work & stressful. You hoomans don't know arf of it but suppose at least you bring some light relief!! (grapes & worms) (why do you think we sleep from dusk til dawn) Boik busy boik boik burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk Edited August 14, 2009 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 + WIR Lavender Mabel Marjorie PLEASE STOP Hoo man in office trying to work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolateeclaire Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Hi Zena again Which Solicitors are we using?????? I have a serious complaint about my WIR. We dont seem to have one of the hoomans that have been mentioned. We seem to have a hoowooman. Our hoowooman finally felt so guilty, as well she should, at leaving us in our cube run all day while she is at work. So she built us a WIR, but I have to tell you that the language she used every time the electric drilly thing didnt work properly, well if their had been young chicks around I would have covered their ears with my wings!! So now we have a 8 x 16 foot covered WIR. Buffy says that it is fine but Favourelles knowledge of architecture is very lacking. You could not possibly call our WIR rectangular, the angles are so out, and in places the roof doesnt quite fit. The only thing I like is the delightful wooden mobile of 3 chickens with feather tails that go around in the wind. If our hoowooman ever finds out how to post a photo I will send you one (of the mobile not the WIR which is just too embarrassing) Love and squawks Zena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 We've got one of those hoowoomans too . She sounds worse than yours though, she had to bring a strange hooman to our garden because she said her electric drilly thing was nakkurd and her uvver harf was handle-less (does that mean she can't pick him up ). This strange hooman did a lovely job of our walk in run I must say although I wish the hoowooman would leave it alone . She keeps coming into it and fiddling with our perches. She will insist on something called "poopikkin" too - I wish she'd leave our poo alone . Hasn't she got any of her own ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daphne Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Ladies - do you have an agent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falkor Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Hey ladies Brandy here! Well it looks like Mum and Dad decided it was time for me to fly the coop and I now live here full time. Note to mum and dad...I am rubbish at flying, Gin my new friend says it is cos we are Orps and our body weight to wing ratio just doesn`t lend itself to flying. Saffy it quite good at flying and often does a stealth harrier jump jet take off into the hooomans garden but then she is a skinny minnie. I love it here! Saffy and I have moved from our purple egg and now live with the other girls in their big green box. We have such fun......tearing around our garden and hanging out with Gin, Old Speckled Hen and Snowball....all who have mellowed since we first met Regarding the solicitors I can highly recommend Cluckingham, Wing and Peck over here in Cambs. I recently filed a motion with them to request an extension to our walk in run and it has been approved by our female hoooman but the bigger, balder hooman is still fighting it. I am in the process of trying to break into his shed to gather evidence to use against him in a court of claw! Orpingtons will overcome!!!!!! I am feeling a bit hormonal at the moment....snapping at poor saffy when she does nothing wrong and i have started crouching down on the ground for my hooman I have no control over myself Gin says it is because I am becoming a woman and getting ready to fulfil my hen purpose in life and provide the hooomans with eggs. Fizz says it is great laying eggs as the hoooman really wants the eggs and will do anything to get them so when we have our diet days and all treats and corn are off the menu Fizz makes a point of laying her egg right at the back of the big bushes so the hoooman has to get all dirty to get at it. I am making notes I must dash...well waddle as the hoooman has also installed some mini versions of me into my old purple egg house which we are not happy about so I need to type a letter to my solicitors to see if I can get them evicted as the pacing, shrieking and pecking has not worked so far! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
