chickencam Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I had an issue with my lovely red Lidl weighing scales a couple of weeks back, I acused YD of doing something to them whilst making cookies the day before, I changed the battery, got the old set out and changed the battery in those too. they didn't work either, after half an hour and reading the instructions which suggested that you reset the scales after changing the battery, I realised that I had been pressing the mode button on both sets instead of the power button, I have only had them for 5 years and used them constantly, something of a mental block me thinks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I have laughed so much the family came to see if I was okay I am so glad I am not alone Here's my howlers Years ago OH and I were in a toy shop browsing for something for his nephews up coming birthday I picked up what I thought was a kaleidoscope put it to my eye and twisted it as you do I said to OH this doesn't work it must be broken He looked at me as though I had two heads and said that's because it's a balloon pump My DS sent me a text message about his hotel when visiting the IOW and ended it with lol I replied with I love you too I am still trying to live that one down Lastly on this years holiday it was Carnival week and for years all the shops all do a spot the stranger competition where you have to figure out what item in the window display is the stranger as they dont sell it. Browsing the window in the Sue Ryder Charity shop I spotted a necklace on the manekin and said to OH that YD would love that went in and asked to buy it the assistant looked confused then said It wasnt for sale laughed and added till next week I went out confused repeated to OH then the penny dropped the Necklace that looked like two pink and two blue liquorice allsorts with the little bobbles on was just that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Hilarious stories - thank you all for sharing! I'm crying laughing here (especially at the fabric conditioner and kaleidoscope). I'm sure I've done many things like this, but can't remember them! But I do remember my sister in law and my brother going for petrol. She went in to pay and when she came out jumped into the car and said 'lets be going then'. Only to realise it was not her car, my brother had moved it, and there was a bemused stranger sat in the driving seat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolaLayla Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 (edited) Ok. Here is my contribution. I decided I would like a Kindle but as I felt I would probably mainly use it on holiday I thought I could not justify one. However on a website I noticed reconditioned ones at a reduced price so decided to take the plunge. When it arrived I plugged it in to charge and I kept an eye on it but it did not seem to go above 30%. I looked online and notice someone mentioning they had a problem with recharging the battery on a reconditioned one. I immediately thought that I had a faulty Kindle too and made an online request to get a phone call to discuss my problem. When the girl phoned I told her that the battery did not appear to be charging. She asked me where I was looking on the screen, once I told her she informed me that I was looking at the percentage through the book I was reading not how much charge the battery had I must always read instructions first and not jump to conclusions!!!!! Edited September 6, 2011 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutti Frutti Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Hearing the news lately has reminded me of a dippy moment I had many, many moons ago (OK, talking mid-80s here). I was just a fresh faced youngster and my first job was with a technology company in the boom industry of... PCs At lunchtimes, I used to cover for the chap on the helpdesk, just taking messages but keen to learn. One day he came back and was howling with laughter, waving one of my "while you were out" notes, then asked me what the chap had actually said. I'd said, exactly what I'd written down. The chap wanted to know about the iTripoli interface. I didn't know that it was written as" IEEE" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 IEEE! And had to stifle my laughter so as not to wake up my snoring hubby upstairs for the kaleidoscope! The car made me remember a more recent event. DD was working at the motorway services but had a puncture. I drove over to see if I could help - plus the sun was setting and I didn't want her to be in the dark on her own. It was springtime, so sun was setting around 5/6ish. Couldn't get the hubcap off without damaging it. It would have to have been the only tyre with a hubcap left on it. So we called the RAC and went for a cup of coffee (and a fruity thing for her). We could see the traffic and spotted the RAC man zipping past. She went to the loo and I dashed out to get to the cars - which were outside the service station along a little road. I decided to cut through some rhododendrons but there was a ditch the other side. I thought it looked stable enough to step down into - the gap was too wide for fat lump to jump across. So I stepped down, the water was deeper than I thought - loads of leaves disguised it! Lost my balance and sat down in the ditch. The RAC man just didn't know what to do - he was worried I'd hurt myself - but I was too busy howling with laughter. I can't begin to describe how soggy I was! Anyhoo he fixed the tyre and we went home. I was so muddy that I had a bubble bath and as I sat down up floated a little silver birch leaf. I still have that little leaf - it was far too brave a little thing to be discarded seeing as it boldly went where no leaf has gone before! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daphne Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 at twig and kaleidoscope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Oh Valky, I'm not really splitting my sides.........honest I'm not Two family stories which rear their heads every so often..........we were bending over looking at the yummies on sale in a bakery window, my sister and I..........she thought it amusing to slap me on the back.......I didn't as my face hit the plate glass window with a resounding thud..............Exit one embarrassed teen & her hysterical younger sister I was wandering through town with mum, yabbering animatedly...........*smack*...........where the lamp-post that smacked me between the eyes jumped up from I have no idea.........I didn't see it before or after impact, I've avoided it ever since though Variation on the "wrong car" story, wrong boy........was at a 15th(?) birthday party, where a little alcohol might have been enjoyed , I leant over the stairs, thinking I was draping my arms around a close friend's neck.......never seen him before ...overly-possessive boyfriend at the time was unimpressed & close friend was in stitches I'm so glad I'm not alone in silly acts x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 The door one reminded me of the time I heard a knock and thinking it was OH - I flung open the door and said " hello gorgeus" in my best East London accent (I did live there for 15yrs so its quite good) - yup it was a very young man from EON clutching a clip board and looking terrified of this middleaged mad cougar. He muttered something and disappeared. ES not impressed at his mum calling young men gorgeus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Years ago I owned a 17 year old Reliant Kitten (think Reliant Robin but with four wheels ) a very unusual car with quite erm, quirky tendancies. I was sat in a queue at traffic lights at a multi-lane junction and took the opportunity to try and shift a really stubborn bit of bird poo from the windscreen. So, I was squirting the washer water, swishing the wipers, squirting, swishing, squirting, swishing and bit by bit the poo was shifting. I was vaguely aware of someone repeatedly honking their horn and eventually looked out to see who it was.....only to see a chap in a posh suit in a convertible looking a bit peeved and just a touch soaked through with washer fluid! Turns out some of the water was totally missing the car and landing on him Thank goodness the lights changed...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 To all the above. Actually I think you've found a brilliant way of getting rid of unwanted cold callers. Next one that knocks I'm so going to say "allo darlin'" and see what happens. No chance of getting lucky so it just has to be the can't see the guy for dust ending! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Am resurrecting this thread because I have just,on a whim, taken a picture of the table I mentioned in the opening post, in all its extended glory. Haven't quite finished setting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patricia W Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 That is brilliant! We have to put 2 tables together to get anywhere near that - unless we too have hidden leaves... but I don't think so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 That's brilliant Egluntyne - what's the occasion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Looks a marvellous table Mine is an extending table, you can leave as is for 4, extend once for 6 or twice for 8.... Great for entertaining My friend found 2 rooms in the basement she didn't know she had wish I could find some rooms Purpletree, I'm like you, I always dream about extra rooms, extra houses etc... Wish I knew what it meant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 That's brilliant Egluntyne - what's the occasion? Family coming round for lunch tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubababe Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 What time do you want us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubababe Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My funny story is when a friend came up from Wales for a visit one weekend. She met me from work. Gave her my spare crash helmet, on she got and off we went. 15 minutes into the journey I felt a thump on the back of my crash helmet, she had fallen asleep and it was the thud of her helmet on mine Finished the journey and when she got off my motorbike I noticed something melted over my exhaust pipe On closer examination she had put her foot on the exhaust pipe instead of the foot rest and the sole of her shoe had melted, she then went on to exclaim that she wondered why her foot was getting hot The sole on her shoe had a brilliant deep impression of my exhaust pipe I almost piddled myself laughing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 that's a good one! I've been doing more clearing out in the attic... came across a box of stationery and envelopes and (inexplicably) a stash of unused valentine's cards The Boy was helping me out and asked if my love life had ever been so prolific that I needed to keep a stash TBH I don't remember buying them at all and they're not my taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Must be Rosie's secret stash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Just caught up with this thread have to say Charles and I had a good chuckle to ourselves. Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Only just seen this thread We sat down in the pub a couple nights ago and friend asked for my keys to go and get his wallet from my car. Gave him the keys and we watched him through the big glass window, bearing in mind you have to put the key in the lock to open ma car... 5 mins later he came back, "Your key doesn't work?" He'd tried 2 other cars, one being a Silver Focus, and not my Blue Polo?! Redwing... tell everyone how you open up the fuel flap to fill your car at the petrol station! Edited January 8, 2012 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 reminds me of a friend who was new to driving and had her first 'own car'; she was on her way to the petrol station and called me to ask 'how do you know when it's full?'; having a bit of a laugh I told her 'when it pours out over your feet' she was anxiously filling it up at the garage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatieB Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 A friend told me on friday that someone we know had just posted on facebook that she realised she was wearing two skirts how on earth can you do that (and she is an intelligent professional) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 We purchased our kitchen table off the people we got the house from - its also got a middle piece but neither OH or myself can remember how to get at it. if you;re passing my door (some hope) drop in and enlighten us as you are obviously an expert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
