Look at us now

[Cinnamon 5]

Last night I drove home after work, my usual route which involves a busy car park I have to drive right through. It was heaving, as usual.

There is a side road going onto the main road through & as ever vehicles were coming out of the side road & onto the main road, being let out by cars on the main road, because it was jammed solid. As the car in front of me approached this side road a very big van tried to pull out & they didn't let it out. The van driver was being VERY pushy, & doing that horrible thing where they accelerate hard then brake hard , sort of bunny hopping, to try & barge their way out. I decided not to be intimidated by a bloke in a big van just because I was a woman in a very little car, & didn't let him out either. It was my right of way. Ironically, had he just sat there indicating, I would have certainly let him in front of me.

 

He didn't like this one little bit...much horn blasting etc.

 

Then he got out of the van & came steaming towards my car! The traffic, which was stop/start moved on, so I pulled forward, causing him to have to run back to his van.

This made him even angrier, & he drove the van at very high speed towards the back of mine, braking with a loud squeal at the very last minute. I honestly thought he was going to smash into me.

He then kept an inch from my bumper blasting his horn & flashing his lights right up until we parted ways at traffic lights.....a good 8 mins or so. He also had his window down & was shouting obscenities & at one point was so near to me that he touched my tow bar with his van.

 

It was really frightening & I shook for a good hour after I got home.

 

So, what should I do?

The van was sign written & it is a local company based in the car park. We know them....same line of work as ourselves, but they have a poor local reputation.

 

I didn't get the number plate, as he was so close I couldn't see it.

I didn't get a good look at hom either, as I couldn't see into the cab.

 

I am worried that I will encounter the van again on my drive home. My car is unusual & distinctive. I had my uniform on too, so he could see where I work. Their vans are around the area all the time.

 

Hubby says to ring them, but I hate phones.

He offered to do it for me, but I declined.

 

It got very little sleep last night.....this has really rattled me!

[WitchHazel 2]

Sarah, what a horrible experience.

 

I would definitely contact the company concerned, Whatever is going on in that chap's life is no excuse for his behaviour.

 

I can understand you not wanting to phone, it can be very difficult to express yourself clearly in this sort of situation.

 

Looking at what you have written in your post, I think you have been very calm and clea and articulate - and I would recommend that you copy/paste pretty much your entire post here and email it to them.

 

SUGGESTED CHANGES - removes faded, additions in bold

Last night I drove home after workat 5pm (or whatever it was), along Roadmy usual route which,as you are probably aware, involves a busy car park I have to drive right through. It was heaving, as usual.

...

It was really frightening & I shook for a good hour after I got home.

 

So, what should I do?

The van was sign written & it is a local company based in the car park. We know them....same line of work as ourselves, but they have a poor local reputation.

The Van was one of yours.

I didn't get the number plate, as he was so close I couldn't see it.

I didn't get a good look at hom either, as I couldn't see into the cab.

 

I got very little sleep last night.....this has really rattled me, and that's why I decided to write to you.

 

NOW YOU NEED TO PUT IN WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN.ou just need to decide what outcome you want, so you can include this. Do you want an apology? Are you writing because you are concenrened he will recognise you and harrass you? Or..?

Maybe something like

I want to make sure that the guy doesn't do this again - to me, or to someone else.

[mollyripkim 0]

What an awful experience, no wonder you are so shaken up.

To be honest if I was you I would contact the company concerned and asked to speak to the Manager, my husband has lots of vehicles for his business and all staff have to sign a policy which includes that they have to drive in a courteous manner as they are the face of the company in a sign written van. It may be that this isn't the first time he has acted like this.

 

I know you didn't get a note of the number plate but we usually know roughly where our vehicles are at any given time so the Manager probably would know who it was.

 

He had no right to intimidate you like this and I would also be tempted to call the police.

 

Please don't let him win and get to you although I know that is easier said than done.

[Cinnamon 5]

Thanks both

 

I will email I think, for the attention of the manager/owner.

The van is distinctive, & I believe the only one of its kind that this company has (as I said, we are in the same line of business, so I know a racked out van when I see one )

Three other smaller vans from the same company were on the same road at the same time, so I guess, as it was just gone 5, that it was knocking off time.

 

Will let you know if I get a response.....

[Alis girls 78]

I would certainly do this and call the police. Any CCTV cameras anywhere? Anyway that is for the police to sort not you. Bad enough being alone in the car - what if you'd had babies or small children with you. Hes a big fat bully. I am thinking of getting a dash camera as tail gating is a big problem round here. Good luck whatever you do.

[mullethunter 597]

I would contact the police too. That's dangerous driving as well as being completely unacceptable behaviour. Good luck and I hope you don't come across this nasty person again.

[Groovychook 0]

What an awful experience, I really feel for you and I'm not surprised you were badly shaken by it.

 

Another one here in favour of contacting the police. You did nothing wrong, just quite rightly, refused to be intimidated by an aggressive and dangerous driver.

No excuses for his behaviour and he needs to be reprimanded. Even if he can't be traced directly, the company that he works for need to be made aware of his actions.

[Cinnamon 5]

Email has been written.

 

I am wondering whether to put my name on it or not?

Firstly, as I said we are in the same line of business, & my surname may alert them to this.

Secondly, what if this guy sees my name & gets personal?

My email address has no mention of my name in it.

Will an unsigned email carry the same weight, do you think?

[Cat tails 923]

I have had similar incidences on the road. As I drive a motorcycle I often get very little patience and understanding from other road users. But I always email/call a company if something happened. Not just to complain, but try to explain my behaviour and the danger they brought me in if anything like that happened. I always try to keep it to my feelings and don't put any blame. Just my concern.

 

I say keep it to your feeling of unease and feeling like being in danger. They can never say your feelings aren't true.

 

Btw: always make a point of trying to alert drivers to broken lights, dangerous trailers etc. If I can, I stop next to them at a traffic light and try to tell them that way. I often get very weird looks and some fear sometimes to, but also a lot of gratitude and relief once they understand what I was trying to do.

[Cat tails 923]

Email has been written.

 

I am wondering whether to put my name on it or not?

Firstly, as I said we are in the same line of business, & my surname may alert them to this.

Secondly, what if this guy sees my name & gets personal?

My email address has no mention of my name in it.

Will an unsigned email carry the same weight, do you think?

 

I would put first name only or maybe your maiden name?

[soapdragon 584]

Sarah, that's absolutely horrendous . How horrible for you! I am really glad that you have written the e mail...I do think you ought to at least mention going to the Police if not actually sending them a copy of the e mail (is there still a Police station on the corner of Market Place or has it been turned into another wine bar...its a while since I've been round that way?). This was harrassement and anti social behaviour at the very least. As others have said you don't know if this was the first time he behaved like this....the Company certainly cannot condone his behaviour.

 

Some time ago a friend of mine's OH sumarilly dismissed one of his drivers for a similar road rage incident; he was in a sign written van and was sacked for 'bringing the Company into disrepute'. This is something that is generally included in anyone's contract of employment these days (or at least should be!) Its prob in yours too so that they could sack you if you decided to lead a conga down Bell Street in uniform in your lunchbreak (though that sounds fun; I'd join in!!)

 

I agree with Cat Tails...good idea to use your maiden name. An unsigned e mail is unlikely to be taken as seriously as a signed. Have you spoken to your supervisor at work and explained what happened? I would imagine that JL would be very supportive and poss even take it up themselves?

 

However, it sounds as though this man has a real problem; this is not the behaviour of a sane and rational person and, as you say, you wouldn't want it to happen to anyone else. Good luck...keep us posted!

 

Forgot to add; you could send (or threaten to send) a copy of the e mail to The Henley Standard....EVERYONE in HOT reads that, after all.)

[dancing cloud 0]

What an awful experience - no wonder you got no sleep. Absolutely terrifying for you and no conceivable excuse for him.

 

You could say in your email that you are happy for the company to contact you, however you have witheld any personal details at this stage, as you are concerned there may be reprisals if this driver can identify you.

 

I share the previous views about informing the police, especially if there is a chance that this idiot can identify you from your car or your place of work. Are you able to park anywhere else for a short while and wear a coat over your uniform? Maybe get someone to walk you to your car?

 

Sending lots of supportive ((hugs))

[Cinnamon 5]

is there still a Police station on the corner of Market Place or has it been turned into another wine bar...its a while since I've been round that way?

 

 

No, long since closed down - but as coincidence would have it, it is now on Greys road, almost next door to the premises of the company I had this issue with

I have mentioned going to the Police in my email. Maiden name is a fine idea

[WitchHazel 2]

No, don't use your maiden name... sign it with your married name as you would any correspondence.

 

I appreciate why you're concerned, but let's just think this through. Say you use your maiden name, and this goes further. It's going to look a but suspicious that you are in the same line of business and didn't use your "real" name, it will look like you were trying to hide something. (Which WE know you're not).

 

Just sign it normally. If anyone says anything about you being in the same line of business just say "what's that got to do with it? If I was doing this as a business slur I would have posted this all over your facebook page and used a false name"

[Cinnamon 5]

No, don't use your maiden name... sign it with your married name as you would any correspondence.

 

Too late, but I do use my maiden name regularly anyhow, especially when I email

[Cinnamon 5]

I got a response.

 

Dear ......,

We are sorry you had this experience with one of our vehicles, but without the registration number it is difficult, as we have 4 of them.

The Director has spoken to all drivers this afternoon.

However the driver, whom we suspect, made a comment of traffic merging, at the point where both you and the car in front of you did not let our vehicle out, clearly if merging were not to happen ours and other vehicles would not exit the car park at all.

The actions however are not one we tolerate and apologies.

Regards

Sara

 

I have replied with this.......

 

Thank you for your response.

As it was my right of way, I did not have to let your driver out, & nor did the car in front.

As I said in my original email to you, had he not been 'bunny hopping' his van to try & push his way out so aggressively, I would most certainly have let him out.

There is such thing as patience & politeness behind the wheel, & your driver displayed neither of these attributes.

 

Thank you for saying that his actions are not tolerated by your company.

There is never any excuse for intimidating, harassing & frightening another driver, & as I mentioned before it is your business that comes out of this whole sorry incident looking bad.

 

Yours.

 

I feel a bit better about it all now - thanks for your help guys (although the Director, who 'spoke to the drivers' could have emailed me himself!)

[soapdragon 584]

Wow, a result (tho poss not quite as effusive as it could have been or punctuated correctly ) You are quite right, that junction is just that...a junction and not a 'merge in turn' (thought they only actually had those on Jersey?)

 

I wonder if you will get another response....personally I'd be a bit miffed not to actually hear direct from a Director but I guess something is better than nothing. And as for saying its difficult to know who it was, I suspect not

 

Good for you for taking them on; I wonder if the driver would have been so aggressive if you had been male ?

[Cat tails 923]

Good for you for taking them on; I wonder if the driver would have been so aggressive if you had been male ?

 

A friend (male) of mine also drives a motorcycle and once got into an road argument with another guy in a car. The guy in the car even got out and pulled the keys from the ignition from my friends motorcycle. He didn't get angry. He just got of his bike. That was enough for the car dude. My friend is over 2 metres tall...

He tossed back the keys and got back in his car muttering.

I think he was lucky though. Things like that can turn quite nasty.

[Alis girls 78]

Well done.

[Cinnamon 5]

Police report now made.

They couldn't have been lovelier - helpful, kind & really supportive of my worries

 

Bit like you lot really!

[soapdragon 584]

Well done you! This sort of behaviour is NEVER acceptable and you have absolutley done the right thing. The 'culprit' should be VERY severely reprimanded and the police aware of what has happened.

 

Stick with it girl!

 

Ax

[The Dogmother 581]

Great news Sarah, glad it turned out well in the end.

[Willow 13]

well done on reporting it to the police, it's important they get told as he may make a habit of this behaviour and they won't know unless people report it.

[Princess Leia 3]

Not much help as you didn't have one at the time, but having front and rear dash cams really help in this situation. I had a similar thing happen last year, where the other driver who didn't understand how merge in turn works (despite it being in the Highway Code) decided to drive up the footpath to block my way then jump out and give me a lot of abuse (as well as spitting his lunch over me). Got the whole thing on camera. Didn't bother taking it to the police as the general consensus is that they won't get involved unless an "offence" has been committed. However, I did get his company name on record as it was on his jacket. Wrote to his companies head office enclosing the footage. Received a very nice call from one of their directors explaining that they had spoken to him about it (even though it was on his lunch break and in his own car) and that he no longer worked for them. They basically gave him the option of resign or be sacked.

[Valkyrie 392]

Oh you little beauty! Glad you wrote and glad you responded brilliantly! Many a time I've been intimidated by all manner of vehicles. The best one was with my daughter in the car. We were overtaking (and no, I don't hog the middle lane) and there was a car behind me and a long queue in front. I could see in my rear view mirror that a very impatient van driver was intimidating cars behind us and cutting in and out causing the cut up cars to hoot (which was what alerted me). By the time he got to me he tried to barge into my side and I'm afraid I do what I always do with intimidating people I ignore them while having jelly knees. I really don't know how he managed to hop with all the cars in two lanes going slow - I guess he'd have us all drive over the one in front - I swear that's what he would have done if he could. And then the final insult. We laughed at his red faced gesticulations and hooting as we were side by side. He attempted a couple more side barges but I held my ground - there was not really anywhere else I could go - a car still in front of me! Eventually the lorry on the inside pulled off into a slip road and the van driver rammed down his accelerator and pulled in front of the car in front of me causing yet another near accident. I felt sorry for the car in front. Although I do prefer the nuisances to be in front of me than behind me. He continued to practice that nasty cutting up behaviour all along.

Another time DD was driving along the motorway with pretty much nothing else around and she had this guy come up behind tailgating her. She said he was so close she could see his face and not much of the car. She slowed down and he hooted her. He then went parallel and when they came up to a slow car he blocked her in. By this time she was really scared and rang us on her mobile while she was still driving (yes very wrong, but in this instance I don't think pulling over and stopping with a crazy man about was a good idea either ). He then pulled away and she was able to see him drive away and she overtook the slow car. The man then slowed up so that she caught up with him - she told us his number plate and hubby called the police. The police were not interested at all!!! He only drove away when she waved her mobile phone in the windscreen and he shot off like a bat out of hell. She wasn't far from home and arrived in great distress. We were not impressed with the police at all.