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soapdragon

What Will You Have On Your Gravestone?

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Hmmmm, I know this sounds really morbid but, given the D of E (bless him) just shuffling off his mortal coil, ES and I had a discussion in the car yesterday as to what we'd want as our final words - actually it was quite funny! With a humerous bent and Spike Milligan firmly in mind (apparently his gravestone says 'I told them I was ill') I've opted for an engraving of a pair of eyes raised Heavenward at the top of the stone with the words 'oh just leave it; I'll do it' whilst ES has decided on 'so that went well then' which is his current phrase (mostly when things DON'T go well!) With regard to OH I'll probably go for something like 'DIY Electrics were a mistake' as he's notoriously bad at any DIY, bless him. 

Anyone else care to pitch in with something that sums them up?!

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Posted (edited)

I've just re read this an realised that it could be inappropriate but can't work out how to delete. Typical me; not engaging brain before 'mouth' gets into gear. Totally not my intention to upset anyone but we'd had such a funny discussion about it. 

Edited by soapdragon
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I suppose it's about doing something a bit different; I do like fossicking around churches and so many of the gravestones just record dob/dod and name. I'd rather make someone smile and show a bit of personality. I've wondered, for a while, how much these 'traditions' are for those left behind to make them feel that they have 'done the right thing' rather then the actual wishes of those who have gone. 

I watched the D of E funeral from start to finish and thought it was amazing that he'd planned it all so meticulously. My 87 year old mum has decided that she will leave herself to medical science but I keep telling her that they'll have a job sorting out what was original and what wasn't - it makes her laugh! My actual view is that whoever is left must do what they feel happy with, after all I won't be worried about it but, if I can make anyone smile at any point the so much to the good!!!!

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This is a funny coincidence - yesterday we were tidying up the garden and moving my pots around when DS said "you have more garden furniture than you do friends" 

I said "you can put that on my gravestone" - Here lies the woman with more garden furniture than friends who loved her chickens.

This doesn't include all of my lovely friends on here of course.

I hate worms and, I know I'd be dead, but I don't want to be in the cold earth taking up space.

I don't really want to be burnt either but have chosen that above being buried. 

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On 4/17/2021 at 5:08 PM, soapdragon said:

Hmmmm, I know this sounds really morbid but, given the D of E (bless him) just shuffling off his mortal coil, ES and I had a discussion in the car yesterday as to what we'd want as our final words - actually it was quite funny! With a humerous bent and Spike Milligan firmly in mind (apparently his gravestone says 'I told them I was ill') I've opted for an engraving of a pair of eyes raised Heavenward at the top of the stone with the words 'oh just leave it; I'll do it' whilst ES has decided on 'so that went well then' which is his current phrase (mostly when things DON'T go well!) With regard to OH I'll probably go for something like 'DIY Electrics were a mistake' as he's notoriously bad at any DIY, bless him. 

Anyone else care to pitch in with something that sums them up?!

I really like this Soapdragon - I think it would be lovely to see a bit of personality on gravestones showing the person that is under them.  Perhaps more people would take a wonder and visit these deceased if it was a more interesting walk.  The village I live in has the grave of a blacksmith and his gravestone is famous 'locally' anyway and it reads: 

My sledge and hammer lies declin'd
My bellows too have lost their wind
My fire's extinct my coals decay'd
And in my dust my vice is laid
My days are spent my glass is run
My nails are drove my work is done

And I just love this.  Thought Pince Philip's funeral was marvellous, with a real touch of his personality.  I've decided I'm going to plan my own (hopefully many years from now) and fingers crossed I don't get hit by a bus, so I have the chance to get it done and make my final mark!

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Just for the laughs I have asked my friends to ensure that my headstone reads:

'Finally, it has happened to me, right in front of my face, and I just can't deny it.'

And if the technology has moved on sufficiently by that point, I'd like a button installed so people can press it and it plays the song too.

Edited by AndyRoo
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I sat through the D of E funeral with a box of hankies.......I thought it was so personal and so very, very well planned. Although it was hugely sad (well, I thought it was) the pagentry and military 'displays' were amazing and a fitting tribute. It was the pot of sugar lumps on the carriage seat that got me though.

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If I had a headstone, it might say: Uploading to the cloud

But I to have a nature burial. No residu or burning for me.

3 minutes ago, soapdragon said:

I sat through the D of E funeral with a box of hankies.......I thought it was so personal and so very, very well planned. Although it was hugely sad (well, I thought it was) the pagentry and military 'displays' were amazing and a fitting tribute. It was the pot of sugar lumps on the carriage seat that got me though.

Found this picture from Charlie Mackesy very moving too. 

317BE6A5-C6B8-4BFC-9B35-6C18F0AE0BBE.jpeg

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On 4/17/2021 at 8:23 PM, Ursula123 said:

music at the cremation would be “In the air tonight” by Phil Collins

It’s taken me since Saturday to get that 🙄

1 hour ago, soapdragon said:

Although it was hugely sad

I’m not really very sentimental and I rarely cry - I cried 3 times. Seeing the queen getting into the car on her own; the bagpiper turning around and walking away; the last post. Also the sound made by the 4 singers was amazing. I thought it was lovely to see the family walking from the chapel too - they looked just like any other family - I could imagine them saying ‘we only seem to see each other at weddings and funerals these days’

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I want to be buried and I want a gravestone, weeping angels even, if finances permit!  I like a walk around a cemetery.  I have traced some of my family history and found some of my ancestor's graves. Seeing who they are buried with has helped me with my research.  It's a comfort to visit them.

There are very few photos of me as a child. I was the sixth of seven children.  I think by the time it got to me my parents were tired or too busy to take photos.

My First Holy Communion photos didn't come out. I never got married. I have no children. Unless I "make my name" somehow before I die I don't feel as if I will leave anything behind to be remembered by.  Maybe that is the way it should be? 

So maybe somewhat selfishly, I do want a gravestone.  I like the spike Milligan one (I told you I was ill), very drole. 

"Nothing lasts really. Neither happiness nor despair. Not even life lasts very long"

Probably not that quote really! I will need to give it some thought and put my very specific wishes in place!!

 

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I agree that it's fascinating to walk around old churchyards....Redhotchick, have you ever been to Highgate Cemetery? I've never been but seen it often on TV and it looks stuffed full of weird, wonderful and amazing memorials. I'd certainly go if I was nearby.

If you have specific requirements then you could lodge a 'letter of requirement' (sounds like something from Harry Potter!') with your solicitor or as an addendum to your will.

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Soapdragon I have not been to Highgate! I'm overdue a trip to London so when I do get there I will put it on my "to do" list. I've been to Père Lachaise in Paris a couple of times, mostly I just go to the local ones where my ancestors are. I am fascinated by the connection to my ancestors. 

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