Mumpty Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 My biggest sadness, is that she neve compliments me to my face. To other people she does - but sometimes you just want her to tell you that you are doing a good job - even though you KNOW you are. I know all about this one, my husband can do no wrong and she constantly reminds me how lucky I am to have him and how talented and gifted he is, we joke about the Brownie points he's accumulated, but me - well, all I get is 'did you want that colour?', 'do you know hat you're doing' etc. She never says how lucky he is to have me. One gem recently was (while on holiday, self catering 8 of us, OH cooking and my Mum joined in too, so I start to potter in the kitchen and she pipes up with 'You will have to interfere!' I ask you, how is turning the potatoes down interfering? She would say it is not criticism, but helpful comments from someone who has been there/done that. My Mum reads the Daily Mail religiously and her favourite is 'They say' - who are THEY? Another favourite is 'I'm just saying' Why does she feel she has the right to tell me how to do everything. Oh and another one - I'm off on a rant roll again - the local DIY shop had a pack of two wooden garden chairs for £15, so not one to miss a bargain, I snapped up 4 for £30, a good deal I feel and somewhere to sit with the chooks when they come, her little gem is 'new chairs, what are they for?' and I say ' liked them', so she says 'you can get help for that, you know', 'help for what?' 'being a shopaholic' WHAT????? £30 on 4 chairs. It's the chicken thing, she can't see it, thinks I'm some kid who wants something and stamps her feet and gets it, she can't understand the joy it's going to bring me. Wow, that was a long rant, I could go on, but will spare you all. On a good note, off to Wales for anniversary treat, to a spa hotel, pampering for me, fishing for OH. Night all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angels4 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Sweet dreams Mumpty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mumpty Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 You too Angels 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokbokbok Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 "I've got nothing to wear to your guilt party!" That's a new one on me (and a good one!) Mine is to (pretend to) listen and then nod and say "There may be a lot of truth in what you are saying.' It SOUNDS like you are agreeing and if Mother is so caught up in her own wee world that is what she will hear - but you and I both know it is the LAST thing you are actually saying! Yours needs to get out more! She needs her own gossip and and and and - the next time she says you can't cope - why not agree and offer to let her take some of the ironing off your hands? Or the hoovering? Or the poo-picking? I agree - she is trying to make herself indispensable to you - work it baby . .. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angels4 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Mine is to (pretend to) listen and then nod and say "There may be a lot of truth in what you are saying. :DI agree - she is trying to make herself indispensable to you - work it baby . .. . I like that one too, sometimes to agree with someone just takes the wind right out of thier sails. Another one I like to use when asked "Why?" and I say "No!" and then the person asks "Why?" again is "No reason, but NO is a complete sentence!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Congratulations on the anniversary Mumpty and I hope you're enjoying your w/e away . I've had my share of troubles with my mum too and it can be so hard to just ignore/forget all the things that are said. You know you're doing well and enjoying your life - sod her . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steph101 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 If I didn't know better, I'd swear we both had the same mother! My mother is always lecturing me, even though she hasn't achieved half as much (sorry, mom, but it's true) and regularly goes out of her way to hurt and ridicule me. Take NO NOTICE, smile, and don't let her see it's botheriing you. You are doing a great job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Mumpty you are doing a fabulous job! You've obviously devoted yourself to your children and home, and now the children don't need you to spoon feed them anymore (as you have done such a good job they have learnt to be independent) so now you can have a job and broaden your horizons. You're an adult and are free to do what you want to. I'd tell her to put up and shut up (in fact I might tell my Mum the same as she treats me no differently!!) I repeat you are fabulous!! Now say it to yourself at least every hour out loud so everyone else knows you are too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mumpty Posted August 29, 2008 Author Share Posted August 29, 2008 I repeat you are fabulous!! Now say it to yourself at least every hour out loud so everyone else knows you are too! Bless you Matrix, that's so kind, I will do, I shall reafirm to myself that I am a big girl now and doing a bloody good job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
