Warm boot recommendations please

[rachel19]

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

 

 

 

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

 

 

 

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

 

 

 

First floor.

 

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

 

 

 

Second floor.

 

The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

 

 

 

Third floor.

 

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went."

 

 

 

Fourth floor.

 

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

 

 

 

Fifth floor.

 

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs!"

[Wiggle]

[rachel19]

ok here's another:

 

BEST OUT OF OFFICE AUTO REPLIES

 

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

 

2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

 

3: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless mails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

 

4: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

 

5: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

 

6: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

 

7: I've run away to join a different circus.

 

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE PRIZE:

 

8: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Phil'.

[Guest]

 

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE PRIZE:

 

8: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Phil'.

 

 

Hey! have you been phoning my answer-machine??

 

Phil (AKA Margaret)

[rachel19]

[Karen & co.]

 

karen x