Ms

[Mel (& Paul)]

How the birth order of your children changes the way things are done......

 

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

 

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

 

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

 

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

 

Dummy:

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

 

Nappies:

1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

 

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

 

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

 

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

 

Swallowing Coins

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

[Nicola H]

How true is that very good Mel.........

[Mel (& Paul)]

See, I'm h-an h-expert when it comes to children

[Lesley]

So true - although I never got past two.

[Guest]

Classic! How I laughed at the hiding from the children bit (although I've only got 2 ...)!

[Becka]

I think I went straight from 1 to 3 completely missing out 2!

[Karen & co.]

I like that A friend has a big gap between hers and feels like she is repeating 1 again! think I did the same as Becka!!

 

Karen x

[Lesley]

It's the same with chickens. You start with two and treat them as child number 1. Any chickens added after that get treated accordingly and ours are all number 3 children now.

 

Or is that just me?

[Mel (& Paul)]

Might just be you No, I think I know what you are getting at. Now we have 8 (chickens not children!!) we are getting a bit more relaxed about the chicken keeping thing (only a little though )

[Guest]

Can I add one?????

 

Pelvic floor muscles

1st Baby - Do the exercises religoiusly every day hoping to maintian pelvic floor of 17 year old.

 

2nd Baby - No time for exercises.Hope for the best & try not to cough/laugh/sneeze

 

3rd Baby - Pelvic floor muscles....WHAT PELVIC FLOOR MUSCLES???

 

 

I speak from experince here

[Guest]

Oh what joys I have to look forward to. I think I started number one at point three already though. My trousers are huge

 

Maybe I'll go backwards and become a slim jim after baby number three....

 

baby number three - what am I talking about

[Guest]

Oh I'm a guest. That last posting was me - Gina

[Mrs Frugal]

Are you having problems logging in Gina? Remember to use the username and password Omlet gave you at the beginning if you're logging in via the club link on the website. E-mail me if you're stuck and I'll remind you!

[Guest]

The pelvic floor was me, *sarah*

Can't seem to log in, but probably am doing something wrong....Kate can you send me a reminder please

[Mrs Frugal]

I'll e-mail you Sarah!

[Mel (& Paul)]

I always knew that having a baby was meant to be bad for the memory - but I thought it came AFTER the birth