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Funny Divorce Letter

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>>>> Dear Wife:


>>>> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you


>>>> I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to


>>>> for

>>>> it.

>>>> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me


>>>> you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

>>>> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new

>>>> haircut,

>>>> had

>>>> cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair

>>>> of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep

>>>> after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me

>>>> anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as


>>>> and wife.

>>>> Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;


>>>> the case, I'm gone.


>>>> Your EX-Husband

>>>> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to


>>>> Virginia together! Have a great life!

>>>> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


>>>> Dear Ex-Husband -

>>>> Nothing has made my day more complete than receiving your


>>>> It's

>>>> true that you and I have been married for seven years, although

>>>> a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

>>>> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant


>>>> and griping. Too bad that it doesn't work.


>>>> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first


>>>> that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother

>>>> raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I

>>>> didn't comment.

>>>> And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me


>>>> with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

>>>> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the


>>>> price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a


>>>> that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that


>>>> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work


>>>> out.

>>>> So

>>>> when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job

>>>> and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were

>>>> gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

>>>> I hope you have the fulfilling life you have always wanted. My


>>>> said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from


>>>> So take care.


Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was


Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

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