surferdog Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 For those of us stuck in the office, something to make you smile. (The second one is my favourite ) Dilbert's Rules of Order 1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. 3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. 4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue. 5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again. 6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. 7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? 8. My reality check bounced. 9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. 10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier. 11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. 12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. 13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. 14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. 15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. 16. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. 18. The more "Ooops, word censored!" you put up with, the more "Ooops, word censored!" you are going to get. 19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. 20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. 21. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't. 22. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. 23. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Brilliant. I love no 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 omg I love these!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing cloud Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Hmm - I really wish it didn't all sound so true ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 These are great...and I don't work in an office! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ana's flock Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 A boss I had many years ago was a fine example of 23... although the most likely thought I was a right number 10! Great compilation by the way, soooo true too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruth1 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Mmmm, i suspect that according to number 4 i spend more time being the statue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
