Single hen

[The Dogmother]

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

 

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

 

In response to Bill's comments, Gen eral Motors issued a press release stating:

 

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

 

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........

Twice a day.

 

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

 

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

 

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

 

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

 

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

 

I love the next one!!!

 

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

 

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

 

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner a s the old car.

 

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

 

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

[Gamebird]

Excellent.

 

I would also like to add that over a period of time your car would get slower and slower till eventually it would take half an hour to start and twice as long to complete any journey.

[Egluntyne]

Very clever.

[hillfamily]

Like it Clare.........very true as well

[Guest]

Interestingly I havn't seen this one for a few years now and suddenly some of them are true. Number 3 -

 

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

 

This happens occasionally with my headlights - I get a beep and the computer says "front lights malfunction" and although the lights are still fine the light on the dashboard display goes off which means I cant see the speedo so I have to pull over and "reboot" the car which clears the problem. Must phone the garage about this.....

 

Number 9 -

 

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner a s the old car.

 

I've just had a loaner and for the past 2 weeks driven that or Mum's Prius - got my car back 2 days ago and couldn't remember how to turn it on, find reverse etc etc.

 

No 10

 

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

 

EXACTLY how my car works!

[Chickvic]

That is very funny