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By gooner.girl, in The Nesting Box

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Martin B Henmaniac

Martin B

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If you think this needs moderating please do so...

"Ooops, word censored!"nal Zoo

 

 

Breaking news: "Ooops, word censored!"nal have confirmed that they are opening up a special zoo in an attempt to pay for their new home and have already assembled some interesting exhibits.

 

The Seaman Emu (harfwaylinus cocup)

 

This emu is respected throughout the world for it's legendary protective instincts. However, it is known to flap aimlessly when attacked by any member of the Keano Massivus species.

 

The Keown Ape (ugliuss bastid)

 

A primate often found on the fringes of the England team. It's horrendous facial structure has excluded it from acceptance within his community.

 

The Viera Giraffe (peahead criybabi)

 

This long gangly creature has an incredibly small head, which contains an even smaller brain which makes it prone to illusions. The Viera Giraffe will often think he's been attacked by other creatures and lets out an ear-piercing whine, when in fact he is the aggressor.

 

The Bergkamp dodo (parstit yiddophan)

 

Flightless with a big beak. The Bergkamp Dodo was once a bird that was the envy of anything with two wings. But it developed a revolting red plumage and has since become a non-flying joke as he is so expensive to keep but provides little entertainment value.

 

The Wenger Vulture (kidee mollstur)

 

A vile scavenger who prays on the offspring of other creatures, his hooked beak and beady eyes are instantly recognisable. Strangely can be seen to give a cheeky smile if fed with a packet of sweets.

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gallery7.jpg

 

for those who can't read small type...

 

"You are driving your car. Are you allowed to stay behind the bike?"

 

Randy Lerner.... get it?? (I'll get me coat!)

 

8)

 

Phil

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If you think this needs moderating please do so...

"Ooops, word censored!"nal Zoo

 

 

I preferred the previous one... but it's not as bad as some of the David Seaman jokes I have heard...

 

Phil :roll:

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gooner.girl Chatty Chicken

gooner.girl

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Yes that definatly needs moderating Martin! ANNIE DO IT NOW! He's being rude about Dennis Bergkamp!!! BAN HIM FROM THE FORUM! :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Like the cudicini one though...

 

Oooohh - good idea!! can I look too?

 

Phil

 

Yes please help Phil, the only ones i can find are to rude or tasteless! :?

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gooner.girl Chatty Chicken

gooner.girl

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The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Aston Villa are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

 

 

A source inside Camelot, the lottery people, has revealed that a man from Birmingham was a recent winner in the nation's favourite weekly gamble. The lucky chap was delighted to announce that he had spent his winnings on a new player for his beloved AVFC.

"If my three numbers come up and win me a tenner again," he added, "I'll gladly buy them another!"

 

 

Two Blokes, one a City fan, one a Villa fan are sitting in the pub on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm. In comes a dog, walks up to the Villa fan and barks twice. "Oh no, Villa lost again" he says. "How do you know?" asks the City fan. "Well, when my dog comes in and barks twice I know Villa have lost." The other bloke is a bit sceptical but on checking the teletext finds that Villa had indeed been beaten..

 

The next week the same two blokes are sitting in the pub when the dog comes in and barks twice. "Oh no, Villa lost again!" On checking, another defeat this weekend. The City fan says "That's a pretty amazing dog you have, what does he do when Villa win?" The Villa fan replies "I don't know, I've only had him a since Xmas!"

 

 

Martin O'Neill was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.

He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?"

to which the old lady replied, "no way you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

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Martin B Henmaniac

Martin B

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Found this..

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an "Ooops, word censored!"nal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the "Ooops, word censored!"nal Fan. Twice.

 

Not my personal views, shoot the "Ooops, word censored!"nal fan first and then the lion! :wink:

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gooner.girl Chatty Chicken

gooner.girl

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Found this..

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an "Ooops, word censored!"nal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the "Ooops, word censored!"nal Fan. Twice.

 

Not my personal views, shoot the "Ooops, word censored!"nal fan first and then the lion!

 

Charming Martin. :? My bolton joke was better. Don't you like it Phil? :(

 

 

Don't diss Gunnersaurus Martin! I've told you before!!!!!!!! :twisted:

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Fire brigade phones Sam Alladyce in the early hours of Sunday morning...

"Mr Alladyce sir, the Reebok stadium is on fire!"

"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Sam.

"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

 

brilliant Helen, quite brilliant!! :roll:

 

Phil

 

May I introduce Jens Lemon:

 

jenslehmanngalleryentry17.jpg

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