Sooo much pooping

[chickinboy]

Beware: !!!

 

Just come on for a bit of a whinge and to generally feel sorry for myself really. I took redundancy just before xmas, and I've still had no luck finding anything. I'm 28, and this is already the second time this has happened.

 

I've just turned down an interview for a job, because it was nearly two hours away, and the recruiter didn't seem to understand what the problem was. I have this conversation practically on a daily basis with them. Before I could drive I worked over two hours away for three years - I know 'me' and I've always said that I wouldn't do it again - it would finish me off.

 

OH got made redundant at the same time - but this was a good thing. He'd been working evenings and weekends for the seven years that we'd been together, and had already arranged to work in the family business (two doors down!) when his old company went under, so he was only waiting for the payout. I was so happy when he finally left, because it meant we could actually get on with our life together, but we've not been able to enjoy it because I'm now out of work. I just refuse to create a situation where he's now working so close by, and I go and work miles away, as we'll be back at square one.

 

There's an underlying problem in that...I don't really want this career. I'm (was) an Online Marketing Manager, and it's so full of sales people, back stabbers, people whose families barely know them....I just don't know if it's what I want. but still, due to our situation with the house, I need to be in a reasonably well paid job if I'm ever going to own anything. OH owns our house, because it was inherited as part of the business, and has been in the family for generations. But as a result (and due to the fact that we're gay and the family aren't impressed), I don't own anything. I'm a big believer in independence, and standing on your own two feet - so I want to feel that I've got my own investments. Hence, the well paid career that I don't really want.

 

I have a dream to work outside - but - I love business, and the rush you get from hitting targets etc. I have a dream to one day own an activity farm for kids - it satisfies my need to work with something I love, but also to continue to be in business, and to make money for myself, not my boss. It's typical that most people think of a business idea that they can start from their kitchen table, and grow from there. I've gone and decided on one where I need a couple of million quid to start me off!

 

Ergh. If I could only get a job in my same old career, that was close to home. That way I think I would enjoy it, and put up with the rubbish that goes along with it, as I'd have my own time to enjoy. If only my area would attract some businesses! It's not like I live in a field - I'm on the outskirts of Oxfordshire - but when it comes to online marketing it seems to have missed the boat!

 

Anyone else had career problems/crisis?! How did you get yourself out of it? Or should I just get a really big rock and crawl under it and not come out 'til I've won the lotto?!

[Tiggy]

I hope things sort themselves out for you, Ive never been unemployed but I think i would be bored, Id like to work a few less hours than I do - Im sure someone will come along & give you some better advice

[ubereglu]

Good Luck with your continuing job search and I hope something turns up soon. It is so hard at the minute whatever your age, there just seems to be nothing out there, (I need a summer job at the minute/weekend, but can't find anything either).

[docsquid]

It sounds like in your heart-of-hearts you really want to do something other than marketing. While you are unemployed you should be able to get a lot of help if you want to re-train for an outdoor career - loans, or free training, and lots of support and help to get the right course. I'm sure it doesn't feel like it, but this could be seen as an opportunity to start doing the things you really like to do.

 

One thing you could do is look around in a more strategic kind of way and think what sorts of employment is available in the local area, even if it isn't in your field of expertise. If there is something a bit closer to what you eventually want to do, perhaps you could arrange to talk to the employer and find out if any of your existing skills are useful, and what other training you might need to get a job in that sector. You may feel like you are starting out again, but at 28 you have time to do that and still make a good career in whatever area you choose. Use your marketing skills to market yourself and try and do it more directly. You could even try volunteering at a Children's Farm or wildlife centre and see how you like it before committing to anything.

 

Just ideas. I really hope you get something you like soon, and don't have to commute for such a long journey.

[Willow]

I do feel for you, I'm having to think about what I do next and finding the corporate route vs better home/life balance hard.

 

I suspect a major part of the difficulty in finding a job is that you don't want to do it. Personally (especially at 28) I think you should worry less about the well paid job and go for your dream. Have you sat down and talked to your OH about what you want to do and see how he feels about it ? Whilst it's hard you shouldn't let how his or your family feel affect you and your decisions just your OH.

 

Financial independence is good but it shouldn't be all consuming. Your OH hasn't had to earn the money to buy his house he's been fortunate enough to have family property. That shouldn't mean you have to put your dreams aside to be able to do a matching investment. Think about why you want that financial security and weigh it up against everything else, it may be less important to you than you think.

 

The other suggestions of volunteering at childrens farm and what grants would be available as you're currently unemployed are all good things to try to let you see how you'd change your dream into reality.

 

Sit OH down and have that talk !

[Looney]

I can understand your frustration, it is hard enough to get a job that pays enough to survive never mind one that ticks all the other boxes as well including job satisfaction. Hang on in there!

 

I agree that volunteering, if there are any opportunities around, might be a good way to test out a potential change in career. Or maybe trying to find a job working on the sales and marketing side of a animal charity / activity centre so you can get an insight from that perspective.

 

I know you said that you are signed up to a recruitment agency but don't forget the jobcentre as they don't always just offer entry-level jobs. If you are registered at the jobcentre it is worth asking your advisor if there are any schemes out there for people that have been made redundant and are looking for a career change to return to the labour market. If they aren't too responsive, don't be afraid to push a bit, I know there is some funding out there somewhere! I have certainly come across projects in the past that help people look at self-employment as an option, help with writing business plans and signpost to possible sources of set-up grants. If anything they help people decide whether self-employment really is for them before they embark on setting up their own business.

 

Good luck xx

[Clur]

You mentioned you were/are an online marketing manager? Out of interest was that client-side or agency? I think agency work can be far more difficult as the pressures and hours are dependent on customer needs and competition (and cattiness) can be high in some agencies.

 

Is it possible you're disillusioned because of your past employer? I only ask that as from personal experience I'd had my fill of marketing and wanted to get out permanently. Unfortunately as the main earner and with a young family, I didn't really have that option. Instead I changed employer (was looking for 6 months) and although it can be a pressured environment, they are sensible enough not to want to burn people out and will do things on occasion like give us a half day on a Friday, or set up a tv and refreshments to watch the footie. It's hard work but it's balanced. They also let me finish a little earlier one night a week to take my kids swimming. Around key project dates it can be long hours, but I don't mind so much if the flexibility is there. The point I'm trying to make is that if you transfer your skills to another employer, you may feel a lot happier. Also, in your line of work I imagine you're not stuck in one sector and imagine what you could do for a local charity for example. Your skills are highly transferable and sought after and I'm sure with some formak careers advice, you might be able to determine another route you've not thought of before.

 

Don't give up on your dreams of doing something else, but look to see how your current skills can help you take a step closer.

 

Chin up chick, the right job is waiting for you and don't forget *some* recruiters would place you anywhere to get their bonus. You're doing the right thing in holding off and putting you and your other half first!

[chickinboy]

Ahhhh thanks for all your thoughts and advice. I think I just needed to vent, and organise some of these thoughts in my head.

 

I'm client side, for the exact reasons you mentioned Clur -it's kinda the lesser of two evils! I was just in publishing for a long time, and it's an industry under such strain that I spend most of the time surrouned by people crying, screaming, throwing things etc. Just taken it's toll on me I think. I've had positions where I've been happy in the past, so as you say, I think it's just a case of finding the right place. It just means a bit longer of waiting, but I think it'll be worth it in the end. I just wish it would hurry up.

 

I've started applying for some other stuff in more 'ethical' companies such as charities as you guys suggested. It might help to feel that I'm doing work for a reason, rather than making millions for people who are already dirty rich.

 

I've also just written off to a local activity farm - I figured if I'm going to work for peanuts while I find something, I might as well work in something I love - even if I end up volunteering. Plus, some volunteer work could look quite good on my CV anyway. I mentioned in the letter that even if they didn't have any paid work, maybe they'd let me make a few suggestions for the their marketing activity, in the hope that that be might a route in.

 

We'll see......still - I have the chickens to keep me amused - they're loving all the FR time!

 

Thanks again!