Classic roosting bars

[Alis girls]

has anyone had to deal with their children undergoing puberty whilst still in Primary school. I have 2 boys (2nd is 10) and they both started bodily changes in Yr 6. I feel schools are more understanding to girls as changes are more obvious and boys are seen as stroppy and challenging. ES - is now 16 and I dont remember too many traumas but my youngest as many of you know has had probs at school (as posted re a teacher) and although this is resolved - hes a challenging little soul - him and I clash a lot. Maybe made worse cos I am menopausal and a grumpy old cow to boot. If anyone has any tips and advice - gratefully received.

[iar fach goch]

Sorry no advice, but I am in the same boat. ES has just turned 11 and started changing physically and in attitude. He has always been the easiest of our three but in the past few weeks we have had so many clashes I've lost count. His attitude towards school work has also changed - I was hoping he'd at least make it to secondary school before this became an issue. This has all come as a bit of a shock! Here's hoping someone has some tips!

[Duncan08]

I don't have any tips particularly but I can give a glimmer of hope perhaps.

My son had a difficult time at primary school. Constantly in trouble for fighting fidgeting, answering back.

He was on a behaviour report, one of the comments came back to say he had brought a worm into school and thrown it on the floor. Well I had to question this, he doesn't do creepy crawlies, he is even wary of the chucks. But he is a sensitive soul and it didn't sound like him.

On further investigation it turned out he had found a worm that looked like it was dying, he picked it up with a stick and was bringing it in to revive it in the water fountain. Quite a nice thing really, not the cruel gesture that was made out.

The fighting, I always asked IF he had started it," no, but he gets involved when it is nothing to do with him,"

you mean he sticks up for others?

He isn't an angel by any means, he is loud, constantly challenging and I think they just grow out of the primary school. A few of us have had the same thing, the primary school teachers don't always have the training to deal with it. Not all, but some, I was dreading the move to secondary.

Well he is now in year 8 and I had his parents day a couple of weeks ago. They embrace his"personality" providing he keeps it in check, which he is doing. They are very strict, but very nurturing. They enjoy his questioning (gobbyness) and seem to have motivated him completely, he is his class representative and has been Made the year representative. He actually enjoys school, as much as a 13 yo will admit to.

I have always thought he was an early adolescent but after talking to a few other mums, I have come to the conclusion he had grown out of primary and needed the change that secondary brings.

Don't get too excited though the teachers at secondary have all warned of the dreaded year nine, which is apparently the worst year for boys

[chickencam]

I experienced this with my YD but not with my DS, he waited until year 9. I have always set firm calm boundaries with him and only make an issue out of what really matters to us as a family, i.e. personal hygiene, and respect. His room is a hovel from which occasionally emerges dirty clothes and once in a while I will brave changing his bed, but apart from that it is his space. I have always demanded that he speaks to us respectfully, so if I get aggression or lip it is dealt with by the voice of doom. One thing that I have found with him is it is important for me to make myself available one to one, not in an obviously planned way, but watching sport together or just having a natter after school, sometimes big boys need a hug from mum and a bit of a confidence boost, so I big up the good and try to ride out the bad.

 

Good luck, I found YD very challenging at that age, she is actually so much better now that she is 13, we still have the odd clash but nothing like we did when she was in yr6, show him love and try not to get too involved in sniping with him.

[Alis girls]

Thanks - the school work has always been a battle but I am hoping it is just that hes out grown primary school. They are sympathetic to girls which is right (separate loos etc for those with periods) but the boys are just seen as trouble makers. Thankfully his form teacher has a son in his class who is also challenging. The secondary school ES goes to and hopefully YS will go to is strict but they do try hard with troublesome kids. He lives in the shadow of a confident older sibling , however he has a wonderful sense of humour - and makes us laugh esp with his impersonations - his Stephen Hawkins robotic voice drives me nuts. Thanks for advice