Chicken Memorials

[Rona]

Got this poem in a Christmas card from a German friend today. I have to guess at the meaning of most of the German words so thought I would share it on here in the hope that someone can come along and translate. I think it something to do with Mother setting the house on fire by burning the Christmas goose but I don't blame her if she got a teflon frying pan for a present! . The German sense of humour is very different from ours.

 

When the snow falls wunderbar and the children happy are,

When the Glatteis on the street and they all Gluhwein need,

then you know, es ist soweit: She is here, die Weihnachtszeit,

Every Parkhaus ist besetzt, weil die people fahren jetzt

all to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt, kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt.

 

Shopping hirnverbrannte things and the Christmasglocke rings.

Mother in the kitchen bakes Schoko-, Nuss- und Mandelcakes.

Daddy in the Nebenraum schmuckts a Riesen-Weihnachtsbaum.

He is hanging auf the balls, then he from the Lieter falls.

Finally die Kinderlein in the Zimmer kommen rein.

 

and it sings the familiy, shauerlick: "Oh Christmas tree!"

And then jeder in the house is packing die Gesechenke aus.

Mama finds under the Tanne eine brandnew Teflonpfanne,

Papa gets a Schlips and Socken, everybody does frohlocken

President speaks on TV, all around is harmony,

Bis mother in the kitchen runs: Im Ofen burns the Weihnachgtsgans.

 

And so comes die Feuerwehr with Tatu-Tata daher,

And they bring a long, long Schlauch and a long, long Leiter auch.

And they schreien: "Wasser Marsch!", Weihnachten is now im ... Eimer!

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, hear the music, see the lights,

frohe Weihnachts allerseits!

 

Gesundheit, Gluck and Frieden, Freude, Hoffnung, Liebe und Besinnlichkeit, and Happy New Year, all das wunschen Euch for diese Zeit.

 

Health, wealth, happiness and all you wish for yourselves in the coming year.

[craftyhunnypie]

Mama finds under the Tanne eine brandnew Teflonpfanne

 

That bit made me laugh that Mama finds a teflon pan under the tree!!!!

 

Emma.x

[Guest]

I think we need Christian . . .

[Egluntyne]

I think you are right!!

[Egluntyne]

Here's another!

 

(The date at the bottom isn't quite right now....but it rhymes!)

 

I'm copying Rona's festive colour scheme.

 

British-German Christmasnachten

When the last Kalender-sheets

flattern through the Winter-streets

and Decemberwind is blowing,

then is everybody knowing,

that it is not allzuweit.

She does come, the Weihnachtszeit.

 

All the Menschen, Leute, people

flippen out of ihrem Stübel

run to Kaufhof, Aldi, Mess

make Konsum and business.

Kaufen this und jenes Dings

and the churchturmglocke rings!

 

Manche holen sich a Tännchen.

When this brennt, they cry: Attention!

Rufen for the Feuerwehr;

Please come quick, and rescue her!

Goes the Tännchen off in Rauch

they are standing on the Schlauch.

 

In the kitchen of the house

mother makes the Christmasschmaus.

She is working, schufting, bakes,

hit is now her Yoghurtkeks.

And the Opa says as Tester;

"We are killed bis zu Silvester".

Then he fills the last Glas wine,

yes, this is the Christmastime.

 

Day by day does so vergang,

and the holy night does come.

You can think, you can remember,

this is immer in December!

 

Then the childrenlein are coming

candle-wachs is abwärts running,

Bing of Crosby Christmas sings

while the Towerglocke rings

and the angels look so fine

Well ! This is the Weihnachtstime.

 

Baby-eyes are big and rund

the family feels kerngesund,

when unter'm Baum is hocking-

then nothing can them shocking.

They are so happy, are so fine

this happens in the Christmastime.

 

The animals all in the house

the Hund, the Katz´, the bird, the mouse,

are turning round the Weihnachtstree

enjoy the day as never nie,

weil they find Kittekat and Schappi

im Geschenkkarton von Pappi.

 

The family begins to sing

and wieder does a Glöckchen ring.

Zum song vom grünen Tannenbaum

die Tränen rennen down and down-

bis the mother plötzlich flennt:

"Die Gans im Ofen ist verbrennt!"

Because her nose is very fine

wie jedes Jahr zur Christmastime.

 

So all can say the Fest is nice,

but all of this hat seinen Preis.

The nervs are laying alle blank,

This is mir klar, by this Gestank

from the verbrennte Weihnachtsgans.

 

This year the nineteen ninety nine

this must etwas besonderes sein.

All people stimmen mit mir ein

and sing with me so loud and clear:

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Edited December 22, 2007 by Guest

[missuscluck]

My mum is German and my brother recives e mails for her from our German relatives. He has this thing on his computer which translates all their messages for the rest of the familly to read and my mum shows us them when we go to visit, for a laugh as much as anything.

It is a hoot as as lot of the words they use dont have a direct translation so the computer picks the nearest match which could be something quite off thread and the wording of a sentance may be in a slightly different order, so as you can imagine you can just about get the gist of the tail, but is is soooo funny

[Rona]

I like yours Egluntine because at least mama doesn't get the frying pan for her christmas present. I don't think she really likes cooking as she seems to keep burning the goose.

[Richard]

this is all just far to erudite for me.

[Charlottechicken]

this is all just far to erudite for me.

 

Should that be Bah Hamburg then

[Richard]

this is all just far to erudite for me.

 

Should that be Bah Hamburg then

 

.... and far too quick witted for me too! Very good.