Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Somethiing to ponder....... Plurals We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 That is fantastic! And all so true . How lucky we are to have be able to learn all that without even thinking . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Wow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 wish I'd written that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 Clever innit? A friend in the USA sent it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 It sounds like the stuff that whatsisname writes - he's on Countdown sometimes?....... can't remember his name........ Richard.......?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 reddish hair and a beard? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 It sounds like the stuff that whatsisname writes - he's on Countdown sometimes?....... can't remember his name........ Richard.......?? Diligence?? Ok...if you insist......Digence! Not that I watch Countdown....I'm not old enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 That's not who I'm thinking of . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 The chap who wrote Lance the Boil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 The chap who wrote Lance the Boil Richard Stilgoe (sp?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Yesss, that's the chap! Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 The chap who wrote Lance the Boil Richard Stilgoe (sp?) does he have hair?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Who? Lance the Boil? I dont think so............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I've just come back to say Digance - remembered eventually! I never watch Countdown either Egluntine....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 The chap who wrote Lance the Boil Richard Stilgoe (sp?) does he have hair?! A bit round the edges and a beard. He looks as if he might have been ginger. Sings and plays the piano. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I never watch Countdown either Egluntine....... we watch it when we are away on holiday and are restricted to just the 4 channels in the caravan, sadly we have been known to play it with a pen and paper in the past..... that is bad isnt it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I like the numbers.......... in fact, I love the numbers bit. Better with the sound turned down though so I don't have to listen to wittering Carol (roll emoticon here! - or 'evil' - can't decide which!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I like the numbers.......... in fact, I love the numbers bit. I can only do the numbers when its got a 100 or a 10 in it. For the life of me I cant do anything with the 75 or 25, I give up after 1 second if it has one of those in it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 Better with the sound turned down though so I don't have to listen to wittering Carol (roll emoticon here! - or 'evil' - can't decide which!) Both appropriate for Ms Vordeman. I still haven't got over her rumba on Strictly a few years ago. She looked as if she was giving birth to a grand piano. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 She looked as if she was giving birth to a grand piano. oh, Eglutine - you constantly make me laugh....thankyou! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 and me - I'm so glad I've got my smilies back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 She looked as if she was giving birth to a grand piano. oh, Eglutine - you constantly make me laugh....thankyou! You are welcome I'm sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...