Treekeeper Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 This is an actual job application that a 75 year old pensioner submitted to a firm in Yorkshire. Name: Grumpy old b***** Sex: Not lately, but I am looking for the right partner or at least one who will cooperate. Desired position: Company Chief executive or managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place-would I? Desired salary: £150K a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make me an offer we can haggle Education: Yes Last position held: Target for middle management hostility. Previous salary: a lot less than I'm worth! Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post it notes. Reason for leaving: it was a c*** job. Hors available to work: Any Preferred hours: 1.30-3.30 pm Monday Tuesday & Thursday. Do you have any special skills: Yes but they are more suited to a more intimate environment. May we contact your current employer: If I had one would I be here? Do you have any physical conditions which would prevent you lifting up to 50lbs; of what? Do you have a car: A more appropriate question would be do you have a car that runs, I do have a bus pass and a mobility scooter. Have you received any special awards or recognition: I may already be a winner of the readers digest timeshare free holiday offer, so they tell me. do you smoke: On the job no on my breaks yes. Where do you see your self in 5 years: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that now! Nearest relative: 7 miles Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge: Oh Yes, absolutely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xScrunchee Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Excellent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...