Egluntyne Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 My best pal who lives across the pond sent me this. I thought you'd all enjoy it. "Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 6. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) [back by popular demand]:The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Brilliant Egluntine! Thank them for brightening our day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamsin Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
