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Alternative meanings for common words.

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My best pal who lives across the pond sent me this.


I thought you'd all enjoy it.


"Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for

common words.


The winners are:


1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained.


3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly

answer the door in your nightgown.


6. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are

run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.


12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.


13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.


14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.


15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) [back by popular demand]:The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there." :D:D

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