Guest Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 With apologies to the Chavs among us.....! (I should mention that my sister e-mailed this to me, so I'm just passing it along). 12 days of Chavmas On the 1st day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, a pikey in Burberry. On the 2nd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 3rd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 4th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 5th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 6th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 7th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 8th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 9th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 10th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 11th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eleven prammers pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry. On the 12th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, twelve chavvers chavving, eleven prammers pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry Chav nativity There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella. Appy Crimbo!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicola H Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 And a appy crimbo to you too grd very funny................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 That's sooo funny, I nearly wet myself laughing - they're looking at me strange now Thanks for cheering me up Graham. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 I'm going to copy this in case it vanishes BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 I see grd has surfaced again then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 That's great! I enjoyed that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Yes, I'm back to torment you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Loved the Nativity Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Yes, I'm back to torment you all! Bless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Oh Clare, don't be like that..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 You wait until I've got my horns on! come on... you love it really!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 I've already told you two on another thread - you'll get told off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 The snippers will come and snip off this thread!! BBxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 that's so funny Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 I really have got horns - honest - they're red sequinned ones and I love them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Snip snip, might be a good idea after all the fertility!! BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fleata Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
