4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[stoice]

We've been fostering a lurcher/staffie cross called Gina since the week before Christmas. We decided to foster as we both would love a dog but can't guarantee how our life will turn out 10-15 years down the line so OH thought fostering was the way to go as there is no very long term commitment. OH works shifts (5 days on and 5 days off) and I work mon-fri and it means about 2 days in every 10 or so days she's home alone for 10 hours. Not ideal. So we have a lovely elderly neighbour who isn't strong enough to walk her but comes round for a play and a cuddle on those days, plus we have a friend who is more able that lives down the road and works from home - she comes round and walks her for us. On OHs night shifts he takes her to his mums so she's around to entertain her while he's asleep (and while I'm at work). It's not perfect but she copes well although we have to rely on several people to make it happen.

 

Last week we got a call that Gina may have a permanent home.

 

Happy and sad all at the same time. My OH is so upset (Which I thought would happen, he's so soppy when it comes to animals) I am too but also happy that she potentially has somewhere she can stay forever. OH is torn. He's contemplating keeping her one minute then saying goodbye the next. The couple who want her have passed a home check and are coming round on sunday for a walk with her and to talk to us. If we don't 'like' them then we get the final say, which is nice, but I'm not sure how we'll be able to remain objective! OH has spoken to the husband of the couple and already a little alarm bell is ringing. He desperately wants a dog but he works. His wife only works 2 days a week so is home a lot but isn't so sure. She's already expressed doubts about owning a dog especially the commitment of walking her several times a day. Gina is very bouncy. She's just over a year old and into everything (I think thats the staffi in her!) She loves everyone though (And loves to chase birds - including my chooks!) and she needs at least 3 walks a day or she gets very frustrated.

 

We're worried letting her go is the wrong the decision, that she's so lovely we can't part with her or the next dog we get will not be as nice. What if these owners are not suited to her? On the other hand, we can't guarantee what our life will be like in 10 years time when leaving her then would be terrible. What if we have kids? (She'd knock them over and get too excited or see them as a chew toy!) What if our neighbour is no longer able to pop round? Or our friend moves or has kids? My OHs mum has already said she doesn't want anything to do with another dog so I'm not sure we'll be able to foster another either.

 

Argh. We're both so confused. Head says let her go, heart says stay.

 

Any advice please omleters?

 

(Phew, sorry for the long post. Didn't get much sleep last night thinking on this either)

[WitchHazel]

I think it's really good that the wife has been honest and expressed her doubts. Not because it gives you a way in, but because it shows that they are really thinking about what this will mean for them and not just going in to this without understanding what they are taking on. She's a bit like you in that respect, isn't she?

 

When they come round, perhaps you can talk to them about why you chose to foster a dog rather than rehome one, and explain the lengths you go to so that Gina isn't on her own. You can talk about what a lovely bouncy thing she is, and that walking her three times a day is the only way to keep her calm.

 

If you are honest, and non judgemental, it may well be that they come to the conclusions on their own that Gina is more work than they can cope with. Then the decision will have been theirs, not yours.

 

And if they do decide to take her on, they will know eexactly what they are taking on.

 

And in that case, would you be able to consider a trial period for Gina?

[BeckyBoo]

Excellent advice from WitchHazel. It will be so hard to let her go but I think you will know if it's the right family for her. And in that case let her go, you've done a fantastic job and you must stick to what your head tells you not what your heart does. You know the reasons you decided not to adopt an animal and if they haven't changed then you should try really hard to let her go so you can then do the same for another dog. Sometimes doing the "temporary" bit can be so much harder than the "permanent" bit. It's heart wrenching stuff but you will know what an amazing thing you have done, no one can do more than that for an animal.

 

Good luck whichever way it turns out, sounds like you're going to have to be the strong one, and I don't envy you

 

BeckyBoo

[little chickadee]

I sort of know how you're feeling as we're puppy walkers for the Guide Dogs Association and it was so hard saying goodbye to our pup Quita in March even though we knew she would be going right from the start. I hope that you make the right decision for both you and the dog. It's great that you get to have the final say with the couple who maybe want to home her as you know her personality and needs.

 

good luck with whatever you decide.