Krysia Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Hi A friend of mine miscarried earlier this year, the due date was Thursday. Not a lot has been said but she is still upset and hurt and thet are trying again fir another baby. Anyway her husband wants to get her something to let her know he hasn't forgot and loves her but wants something more than flowers, Any ideas please guys??? thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Difficult. When I had an early miscarriage, I would have been really upset if anyone,even my husband, had acknowledged the due date in any way at all. I think that they should have a chat & maybe he can guage if its still the right thing to do or not? If they are trying for another baby, a reminder of what may have been might be just a little too much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickendoodle Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I agree very difficult. I had 2 miscarriages (both around 11 weeks) before having 2 healthy daughters. I would not have liked the due dates to be acknowledged either, in fact I purposely put them out of my mind and I could not now tell you what dates they were. My view is that it is not healthy to dwell on bad dates. However, I do understand that everyone copes with things in different ways and maybe your friend would like something from her husband to show that he hasn't forgotten either. (You can feel very alone and guilty when you lose a baby) Not sure that flowers are the best as they can make you very sad. Maybe a lovely card with a message to show that he understands how she is feeling and that they will get through it together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I've not been through such a sad event but I wonder if just being there and watching to see how she's coping might be enough? Even just extra hugs might make her realise he's not forgotten, without making it an upsetting day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I would think that tlc would be better than a gift, either very low key chat so that she knows that he hasn't forgotten and it hurting too, or why not take her out for a meal or cook a nice dinner at home. A very difficult situation, I have to say that the due date when I had my miscarriage wasn't the main thing but the anniversary of when it happened was, everyone is different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoice Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 My friend miscarried earlier this year too. Twice sadly. Her first due date would've been in September. I'm not sure if everyone else would note the date but I think she is obviously very aware of it and so has arranged a holiday 'away from things' with her husband in case she DOES get people reminding her and passing on, well meaning but painful, best wishes. It's tricky to know what to do. We don't want to ignore it, but then we don't want to bring it up all the time if makes her upset. Maybe a little break away from it all, just your friend and her husband could be the ticket. Hugs to your friend. xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Having been there I wouldn't want to mark the day with a gift. TLC yes, gift no. Marking the time that the baby would have been born would make me feel awful. I hated getting flowers when my brother died. I know people meant well but it just felt all wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krysia Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 I will pass your words of wisdom on. I knew I would get more sense from you lot than my husband and my friends! Sorry to al the make omleteers but women are much better at this sort of thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
