Part 0800.0005

[Griffin]

I think I'll invest in the books suggested. She's now adopted a permanent woe is meeeeeee voice She needs some new school uniform and I just know what a joy looking for that this weekend will be

[chickencam]

I feel for you ((hugs)) I have 2 daughters one 17 one 12. The 17 year old is mostly lovely, and is a high achiever, but she does have horrible rows with her sister, they bring out the worst in each other. She does however have massive mood swings, gets very anxious and has even said that occasioanlly she is scared that she will one day end it all Not what you want to hear as a parent . I am fairly sure that she is just going through that terrible emotional rollercoaster that is growing up. They all give us grief in their own way.

 

My YD is a well developed 12 year old who is a teenager in a 12 year olds body, however she is much easier to deal with now than she was between the ages of 5 and 10. During this stage she couldn't be reasoned with, would throw tantrums shout and scream, kick and bite. I am hoping that we got all of that out of the way, because she is a lovely girl at the moment, but I have my fingers very firmly crossed.

 

I also have a nearly 15 year old son who has his moments too, but is largely going the right way.

 

Boundaries and a secure calm home are the way to go with this age group, it is also important to make quiet time each day when you are available to talk. You can't pre-arrange this, but I like to be at home when they come in from school at least 2 days a week, I stop what I am doing and just hang around the kitchen with them while they do their after school graze. Also we eat together without the tv being on, we have a dining table in the lounge so after the meal while they are all doing the clearing up, they come and go and often settle down for a chat for a while before drifting off their rooms.

 

I have tried to make mutual respect the most important rule in our home, they get fed up with being told to treat others how they would like to be treated themselves, and also with being reminded to leave things as they would like to find them.

[Valkyrie]

It definitely gets better. We didn't have quite as many problems with DD - she started at 14 and I suppose she had on/off moments, and apart from obvious tell-tale signs of a certain regularity of bad mood, she's quite OK. Although she does like to play OH and myself against each other - never works with me and if he gives in he now gets a hormonal middle aged woman telling him off with k"Ooops, word censored!"s on! DS was a much bigger problem and that started from age 10 and went on until last year. We still get the odd moments of stupidity, but at 20 he's much happier and friendlier than he was and seems to be almost back to the funny little lad we had all those years ago. Just needs a leeeeetle more refining and we're there.

[missuscluck]

Sending hugs from me too. Im sure things will get better. I have a 13 year old daughter too. She can be sweet as you like then moody the next moment. We can literaly have a row and I get really upset, she will leave the room then come back in as if nothing at all has happened, totaly unfazed by the whole episode. On the whole though at the moment we get on fine.

 

On the subject of being spoilt, in my experiance it does not seem to matter what you get them it terms of material stuff. If my daughter gets something she particularly wants it dosent gaurantee she is going to be any the sweeter tempered for it.

 

I have to admit, I was an awful teen myself and pretty nasty to my Mum at times.

Im sure things will get better.