Unsecure chicken perches

[Margalot]

Hi,

 

I hope someone can point me in the right direction! I am terrified of getting into a lift and have managed to avoid them for the past 35 odd years!! But now at 41 I feel that I really need to sort out my irrational fear. I am due to go away in Spetember for a weekend for my SIL's 40th Birthday to Brussels. This trip is being arranged by another party so I have no control over where we are staying and where we are going. Last night they told me the hotel and the first thing I did was google it (its the Crowne Plaza) to see how tall it was and the likely hood of having to get in a lift. Complete panic then set in because as far as I can see there are 2 crowne plaza's, one looks about 6 storeys but the other is at least 16 floors high!! - Then I came to look at the Atomium building!!!! those tubes look like a nightmare for me! and to top it all I am getting there by eurostar! havent done tube trains etc for at least 20 years and then theres the metro for getting around Brussels!!

 

I really dont want to spoil the weekend for other people and show myself up as being a complete wuss. but when I see that I may have to get in a lift I freak my mind just says I CANT do it. This is where hypnotherapy comes in and I really feel this the last chance I have to sort it out once and for all. Have any of you tried hypnotherapy for a phobia? has it worked? and finally how do I find a reputable one? is there a list of practitioners that follow a code etc?

 

Help me!

[Mercedes55]

You know I think quite a lot of people are scared of lifts and I don't think it's really that irrational to be honest. I can think of lots of people I know who aren't claustrophobic in any other situation, but show them a lift and they run for the stairs!

 

I've had hypnotherapy by 3 different hypnotists over the years to try and help with my agoraphobia, which also has elements of claustrophobia to it. The first two didn't help at all, the last one was someone my OH knows who was training to be a hypnotist and he did help me a little bit, but I only had one session with him, which is obviously not enough. The one thing he taught me that has helped however is to think of a place where you feel relaxed and picture that place so often that any time you are anxious you can go to that place in your head, if that makes sense.

 

I would say the only long term way to rid yourself of this fear is to face it and learn some coping skills to help you through. Maybe find a lift that isn't too scary for you, for me it's the glass ones as I like the fact that I can see out of them. Just go up or down in the lift maybe one floor if that is all you can do and just keep on practicing that. You could have some 'props' with you to distract your mind, something like an iPod, an elastic band around your wrist to flick, some peppermints, your mobile phone, pretty much anything that would distract you. If you did feel you were going to panic just try to take some slow deep breaths and not add more fear to how you feel. Also don't be surprised if some of the other people going with you are also a bit wary of lifts

[The Dogmother]

I friend of mine is a hypnotherapist and I'm one of those doubting thomas type people... he offered to work on me (saw me as a challenge I think) and I couldn't believe how relaxing and easy it was. I have to say that he hasn't treated me for anything but I understand that it's very successful.

 

The tube in Brussels is partly overground and doubles as a tram service so it's not as enclosed as the London one.

 

I hope that you enjoy your trip.

[Margalot]

Thank you, yes I have been in a glass lift a few years ago and like you say because you can see where you are and when it will stop it is easier, but i really cannot face up to it - going into a lift. My whole days out holidays are planned around not getting into lifts. We went to Orlando last year and going back to the airport after dropping the hire car off into the multi-storey there was only a lift to the departures, I freaked out refused to get in it, my OH was really cross, I eventually found that I could walk across the road and then get the escalator up but lost my whole family in the process as they were waiting for me on another floor. and I couldnt get back down as that meant using a lift!!! so made my way to the check in desk and just hoped that they would eventually join me. OH was really cross by the time they found me!! I had all the passports and phones in the bag I was carrying it was awful

 

Also if I go into a big department store before going up an escalator I have to check there is stairs /escalator down - so stupid as there always is! but cannot go up until I have checked I can get down

 

When my ED was born I was in quite a bad way and they wanted to take me to the ward in the lift on a bed, but no I refused, got off the bed and it took me about 20 minutes to get up the stairs. The nurse said to me if you had had the epidural you wouldn't be walking up the stairs!! sad thing was they took my new baby up in the lift and as I had put my first foot on the step I heard the "ding" and she had arrived on the ward above me

[Olly]

Firstly I want to say how sorry I am that you've got such an overwhelming phobia, this must make life really difficult. I think it would definitely be worth seeking help, not just because of this holiday but because of all the other occasions when you must have to make compromises or go out of your way to avoid using a lift.

 

I haven't tried hypnotherapy but I had a single session of CBT-type therapy to overcome my fear of birds, and it worked wonders - obviously, as I now keep chickens! - I wouldn't say it's completely gone, but I used to cross the road to avoid a pigeon and things like that, and I am fine with them now. It's definitely worth getting some help because you can overcome this. I think the difficulty with hypnotherapy is probably finding someone you feel confident in. good luck, and let us know how you get on (and by the way, Brussels is lovely, you'll have a great holiday!).

[Margalot]

DM - thank you just knowing that the metro in Brussels is in and out made me feel better!

 

Olly, thank you, yes my whole life has been avoiding lifts at all costs, not too difficult as most places do have stairs, but there is the odd occaision where I have missed out - the Eiffel tower being one! just could not bear the though of being crammed into a lift with all those people!

 

I have found a hypnotherapist online near me and just talked to her on the phone. i have a freee consultation on Monday next week! then see if I want to go ahead she seems to think it will take 3 sessions.

 

Last night my OH caught me googling the hotel and said " for Gods sake you are going to have to get over this stupid lift thing!" I could have cried, but after speaking to the Hypnotherapist she explained that what other people see as rational I have a more primal reaction and it doesnt matter how much people try to convince me that its going to be ok, I will never rationally think -oh ok then I'll give it a go!

 

she also told me she had just finished treating a lady with the same fear who has to vist people in hospitals and with her health she finds the stairs difficult, and this lady is now using the lifts!! - hooray there is hope!

 

I will let you know how I get on, At the moment I feel that I never have to get in a lift and why should I? but this is restricting my enjoyment of just going somewhere without thinking about it. You never know New York has always been off my wish list because I just couldn't see how I would visit that city without going in a lift!!! there may be hope yet!

[The Dogmother]

Don't worry Michelle; I have a completely irrational fear of heights, I am trying to work around it myself and managed to climb a lighthouse a couple of years ago but I was a basket case afterwards

 

Good for you for trying and I hope that you manage to overcome it; do come back and let us know how it goes.

[lillybettybabs]

Let us know how you get on if you go, I have had it all my life and can control it to an extent but have trouble

with crowds and lifts.

[Goosey Lucy]

Don't bother with the Atomium. Look at it from outside by all means but it's 3 hours of my life I will never get back. If I remember it rightly (tried to block it out as it was awful), it was a lift to the top then a series of escalators back down again. There were posters of Tintin everywhere and a trade perfume exhibition. Honestly, give it a miss.

 

I hope you manage to overcome your fear of lifts, my MIL is the same, airports with luggage check-ins upstairs are always tricky for her. When in a group we usually split up and she goes up the stairs while we take all the luggage in a lift.

[Olly]

I think the problem with any phobia is that for people who don't share it, it seems so simple - 'look, it's quite safe - just try it'; 'plane travel is much safer than driving' etc. What they don't understand is that even THINKING about the phobic problem can bring you out in a cold sweat. I got fed up with people trying to rationalise things - the whole point about phobias is that they are irrational!

 

Glad you've found someone who may be able to help, I hope it works.