Warm boot recommendations please

[The Dogmother]

Well, the head has just called.. very apologetic, no idea the havoc he's causing He has promised to look into it and will get back to me on Monday. It seems that the TAs aren't contracted to work on training days.

 

I made my point about school not really being geared up to the 'working world' and made it plain that I felt that single/working parents are being discriminated against.

 

Phew, dunno which way it's going to go, but I'm more hopeful than I was

 

Being a governor just isn't an option - I've just resigned from seats on two other comittees because I just don't have the time.

[Jules.]

It's sounding better than before. Let us know what happens.

[The Dogmother]

I'm more positive and less hacked off than I was earlier... good job I wasn't speaking to him last night when I got the letter and Rosie's dad had just dodged out of looking after her - I was fuming!

[Cate in NZ]

Good luck with it Clare, it sounds like you have a great case to put across, let's hope they consider it.

I'm lucky in that my children are now old enough to be left alone on inset days etc, but I had similar problems when the children were smaller. I do have hubby in fairness, and he has always taken on equal responsibility for childcare, but with us both working and no family locally to help out we used to have nightmares arranging childcare on unexpected days out of school. I do think that schools seem to assume that either Mum's stay at home or every child is surrounded by a large extended family all willing and able to drop everything to look after the children when school is closed .

That said I do support the teachers, OK, every August I do wish I'd gone into the teaching profession , but I have problems getting 2 children o keep quiet and listen and learn from me............a class of 30 and I'd either end up in a straghtjacket or a prison cell..........I'm not sure which . A good teacher is welcome to their holidays with my blessing, I reckon they deserve them

[DizzyLizzie]

My kids school sends a list of inset days home at the beginning/end of the school year so you can see how they affect things. The parents evenings are always after school (from 4 - 6.30pm) and if you really can't make it they are happy to make an appointment for another time, if necessary.

 

The PTA meets in the evening, as do the governors - because several of them work. Perhaps if you point out to your PTA that you CAN'T attend because you work they may make the meeting in the evening - you can't possibly be the ONLY working parent!

 

Also, you are already a member of the PTA because you are a parent - they may not realise that they are excluding people because of the time of the meetings.

 

It must be really hard to accommodate short notice changes when you are on your own. We find it hard enough with two of us (no family nearby).

 

PS - I am a stay at home Mum and although I am lucky enough to have been able to choose to stay at home while the children are small we have still had to make sacrifices in certain areas of our life to afford it.

 

PPS - don't forget that us 'stay at home' mums (and dads) give a lot of free help to schools - hearing children read, helping in the classroom, helping on committee's - we aren't all trying to keep out working parents. We all have our role to play in school life.

[Lesley]

I can help out if the Head can't come up with anything Clare.

 

I daren't say any more - I'll end up ranting and still be here tomorrow breakfast!

[Guest]

James' school has all their training days in one week - so the kids get 2 weeks holidays at Whitsun and the parents (gran for me) can even get a cheap weeks holiday so bonus all round!

 

Adding inset days into the holidays isn't an option, teachers have children too! All too often a teacher has to bring their child/children to work because they are single parents (or 2 teacher families) and the kids schools are having an inset - imagine if that were your own inset, during the holidays and about half the staff had their kids there - we would never learn anything! Days can easily be tacked on the beginning and end of holidays though, for the past couple of years the summer holidays were due to start on a Tuesday so schools have made the Monday and inset day, got the staff to attend twilight sessions over the year (hard going after a days teaching) and started the holidays on the Friday afternoon instead.

 

As for snow days - schools don't close because the kids can't get in- they all live locally. Its the staff who tend to have distances to travel. There used to be a rule about going to your nearest school in bad weather and working there but you can imagine why we are not keen to do that!

 

You should stick to your guns though Clare, you had checked and they have sprung this on you unfairly.

[Janty]

I do agree that your son's school is in the wrong for changing the training day at such short notice but it does seem as if people's opinions of teachers is really poor. I attend meetings on Mondays and Tuesdays after school. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I run cookery clubs with children aged between 9 and 13. I also run a club / drop in centre every lunch time for children with a Aspergers syndrome, ADHD, or other problems which mean that they cannot cope with a normal lunch time. I arrived home tonight at 5.30p.m., collected my 11 year old from the school bus, had dinner with my family and when my son goes to bed at 8.30 I will start my marking and preparation for tomorrows lessons.

 

The job is hard and sometimes unpleasant. Last year I was punched in the side by a 12 year old boy. I was standing in front of him trying to protect another child that he was going to hit. I have also been sworn at and threatened by parents.

 

In the holidays I end up going into school as it is easier to prepare displays and plan for the term when the children aren't around.

 

Despite this, I love teaching and wouldn't change my job for the world. Please don't think that we are a bunch of lazy people who get too many holidays.

[Sheilaz]

Just a thought from a different angle; does Rosie have a good friend nearby whose family would love to have her for the day? This could always be reciprocated by having their daughter over for a Saturday afternoon or something.

I know it's harder to arrange if you don't know the parents well, but worth pursuing, both for this time & the rest of schooling.

 

I do appreciate how and the short notice is. Esther's school gave everyone very short notice about 4, yes four, days last month when all yrs 7-9 would leave at 12.15! OK, these are 11+, but it did seem ironic in the "don't take her out of school for anything" climate. It's not just single parents, most people have jobs that can't be so flexible or other commitments that they can't just ignore.

 

For me, I was able to be on standby, which left me in the wonderful position of having 4 girls home on those days! We all loved it, and with her being that bit older, it was mostly arranged by her and then just confirmed by phone.

If I'm able to be at home on those days, I'm delighted to have her friends round too. I'd be upset if one of her friend's parents was stuck for want of asking! So, if that is an option for Rosie, do pursue it, it's not as if she'd be any trouble.

 

I know the lack of "ex" support in those circumstances must make it even more and I do think the school policy needs to be more forward thinking. Well done for pointing it out to the Head, and I wish you well in finding a good solution for this occasion. (Shame I'm not nearer! )

[The Dogmother]

Sorry if any teachers took offence; as I said in my original post - that wasn't the point of my argument at all. I just wanted to make a point that our particular school doesn't seem to serve the parents very well They just really don't seem to realise that while a lot of parents are able to stay at home and help out in school, that others have to work and aren't able to take time off at the drop of a hat. I'm lucky really that Rosie is never ill *touches wood quickly* and I don't have to take time off for that.

 

Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas - I am waiting to hear from the head again on monday.

 

Lesley - thank you very much for your offer - I'll bear it in mind.

 

My dad has very kindly offered to come up and look after Rosie if I have no other option, but as I said they don't live nearby and he's not so young any more and has been poorly with a chest infection recently too, so I don't like to ask.

[Sheilaz]

Your post has just overtaken mine, Clare! xx

[The Dogmother]

And I didn't think that I typed that fast!

 

Rosie does have a friend, whose mum has picked Rosie up from school for me when I have been really stuck, but they have 3 children of their own and are very busy with different schools and after-school activities. I thought about asking her, and I'm sure she'd offer, but a couple of hours after school is one thing, while a whole day is a bit much to ask and I wouldn't like to.

I don't really know any of the other parents at school because I don't get to see them ever.

 

I do try to entertain some of Rosie's friends at weekends, but we're usually out and about fetching, carrying and doing chores, so it's not much fun for them.

[Snowy]

Clare I wish I were near enough to help, I'm racking my brains to figure it out, but I'm just too far away So frustrating for you

[Lesley]

And I didn't think that I typed that fast!

 

Rosie does have a friend, whose mum has picked Rosie up from school for me when I have been really stuck, but they have 3 children of their own and are very busy with different schools and after-school activities. I thought about asking her, and I'm sure she'd offer, but a couple of hours after school is one thing, while a whole day is a bit much to ask and I wouldn't like to.

I don't really know any of the other parents at school because I don't get to see them ever.

 

I do try to entertain some of Rosie's friends at weekends, but we're usually out and about fetching, carrying and doing chores, so it's not much fun for them.

 

Well, Lauren always enjoys coming to stay with you and Rosie - she's used to chores having to be done over the weekend Perhaps we could arrange a sleepover at Lauren's on the Sunday, and then Daughter and I can sort out the Monday between us? Just a thought.

 

I found life as a single parent difficult enough without inset days being sprung at short notice. I went back to College the same week as my youngest started school - even though we were in the same LEA, we all had different holidays and son and daughter seemed to get any illnesses one after the other I'd made my parents young grandparents and they had to work and weren't always available to help.

[The Dogmother]

Thanks for all your offers guys

 

Lesley - this may sound strange, but her school firends don't own wellies, don't help out with/get involved in chores at home, and their parents take exception to them helping clean the animals out I specifically ask for them to come in old clothes and with wellies/old shoes and they turn up in spangly crop tops and clean white jeans Poor children don't know the fun of getting mucky - I usually change them into some of Rosie's clothes (which drop off them as they are usually slimmer) and let them get as mucky as they like.

 

Being at work all day, I don't get to meet many of the mums - although most of them live within walking distance of the school, they mostly seem to drive them to the back gate and jettison them out and drive off again.

 

My main argument with the school is that they seem to be in La-la land and not geared up to the fact that lots of parents work full-time; everything centres around the parents who are lucky enough to be able to stay at home. I'm not getting at any parent groups here, just suggesting that the schools need to adjust their policies and thinking a bit to bring them into line with what goes on in their pupil's lives

 

I think that this school is in a minority in being bad at this - Parents' evenings - most of the appointments are during the working day; Sports day is during working hours; PTA meetings and governers meetings are both currently during the day; the school christmas play has only recently gained a 2nd performance in the evening - it used to be just at 2.30pm.

[Guest]

I never get to meet the other Mums much either - I usually make a point of staying at parties when the other parents mostly leave so I can get to know a Mum or 2.

 

I have the same problem with kids coming without outdoor clothes. My mate comes round most Sunday afternoons and I send his boy outside to play with James whilst Dad says "don't get dirty martin, watch out for chicken poo martin"

[The Dogmother]

I don't understand the not getting dirty bit - that's the most fun! Your James loved splashing in the stream with me at Jimmy's and getting mucky.

 

Unfortunately, Rosie is at that age where they have sleepovers or meals out rather then parties - parents aren't allowed to stay as they are 'terminally uncool'! I knwo a coupl eof the parents to say hello to and they;re nice.