gotsomechickens Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Hi post some jokes here heres one to start it off Why did the monkey fall out thet tree? Becuase it was dead Why did the rabbit fall out the tree? It was stapled to the monkey Why did the tree fall down? It thought it was a game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 this looks like a very dangerous thread.... A M&M and a Jelly baby are talking and the M&M says "are you on for a night on the town". The jelly baby replies "no chance every time I go in town I get my head kicked in", the M&M says "its OK I'm a bit of a hard case I'll look after you and make sure "Ooops, word censored!"ody harms you". So the Jelly baby agrees. They are both having a drink in this pub when two Lockets walk in and proceed to kick seven shades out of the Jelly baby. After about five minute the Lockets get bored and leave and the M&M comes out from where he's been hiding. The jelly baby says "I though you were going to look after me and stop anyone from having a go" The M&M relies " You got to be joking I'm not messing with those two they're Menthol" Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Why do elephants paint the bottom of their feet yellow? So that they can float upside down in bowls of custard and hide. Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So that they can hide in cherry trees And one for the thinkers amongst us Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white and round they would be asprin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Hi post some jokes here heres one to start it offWhy did the monkey fall out thet tree? Becuase it was dead Why did the rabbit fall out the tree? It was stapled to the monkey Why did the tree fall down? It thought it was a game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Well, Rosie has come up with a couple, well one joke and one amazing fact to be precise. Here goes... Q: What do you call a ghost that lays eggs? A: A Poultry-geist! Pluck a chicken Honestly! Some boring geographers put this down to pressure. As the low pressure from a tornado passes over the chicken coop, normal air pressure inside the birds' feathers is suddenly much higher than the pressure outside. Making their feathers explode from their skins! Others think that the strong winds simply blow the chickens bare. Weird! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Love it Phil What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack Whats brown and sticky? A stick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard T Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg?" the bartender asks. "You didn't have that before." "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." says the pirate. "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" asked the bartender. "We were in another battle." replied the pirate. "I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really." So the bartender asks, "What about that eye patch?" The pirate replies, "Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of seagulls flew over. I looked up and one of them 'dropped a little message' in my eye." "You're kidding, " said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from seagull poo." The pirate responds, "It was my first day with the hook." Richard T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheilaz Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 very good... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard T Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Did you hear about the man who bought his wife a slinky dress because he thought she'd look good going down the stairs? Richard T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swindon_clucker Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 What's Brown and sticky and tastes like Marmite? A twiglet That was awful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gotsomechickens Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 Why did the chicken cross the road? SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!! THUMP! We shall never know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
