Angels4 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 My sisters boyfriend Doug who I call Digby because he hates it. has proposed to my sister and she has said YES!! What is she thinking, she has only been divorced since July (not to mention she only just met Digby in June). It must be true.....Love is BLIND!! She divorced her first husband because he controlled every little thing she did, why oh why oh LORD above can she not see that Digby is doing the same. Sure he tells her he wants to help her find "her voice" yet I believe he wants her voice to be his, she has become his little ventriloquist doll just pull her string and you can get her to say whatever you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 oh Mark if it is to be, it will be, if not, she will realise. just be there for her, she will need you more than ever. hugs and merry christmas cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgirl73 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Families and their problems can be a pain! Just be there for her when she finally comes to her senses Mark. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I'm inclined to agree with Couperwife Mark. Time will tell and be there for her if she needs you. She's very lucky to have you as you care so very much for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 She's very lucky to have you as you care so very much for her. Hear hear. Keep calling him Digby and see how long he sticks around. Can you tell her your concerns without her taking offence? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mostin Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I will say a different tack to others on here. Choose an oppertune moment with just you and her. suggest gently that she may need more time to heal "ALONE" and to find her own path "ALONE". It won't make any difference, and she will still stay with "Digby", but you may sow a tiny seed of doubt. Other than that all you can do is be there. In five years time you will be there with the cups of tea while she sobs on your shoulder saying "Why didn't you warn me?" . Families . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angels4 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 Absolutly!! I will be there for her. ALWAYS!! I have in the past couple of months let my feelings about Digby the person as I perceive "him" known to her, and she has been receptive to my thoughts and feelings she does however tend to make excuses for people (she does the same for me). She is ALOT sweeter and kinder than I am and does tend to see the best in EVERYBODY!! Sometimes at her own downfall. I on the other hand tend to be more bitter, untrusting, and judgemental (one step closer to knowing myself.) I always say. Anyway, from what I understand about her marriage to her ex, some family members, and some of her close friends brought to her attention their fears and concerns about her upcoming marriage, and they found themselves on the outside looking in, she chose to elope rather than go through with the wedding as it was planned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Sorry to hear that, Mark . It must be hard to hold back when you feel she's making a mistake . I suppose you'll just have to be on hand and hope she realises before she goes through with it. (A few quiet discussions might help though!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Oh dear Mark, as others have said, you need to voice your concerns, but ultimately respect her choice. I was horrified when my brother married, his wife was a nightmare (and I have told her! ) but they made a go of it, and I've learnt to love her (even though she is still barmy!). At the end of the day they do suit each other Still hard to go through though. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staffordmum Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 My boyfriend of three years left me for his ex wife and has since returned (he is the reason behind the loss of my beloved purple Cube) ... We are now engaged and his family are less accepting of me now more than ever. There hasn't been one word of congratulations from any of them! He says he made the "right choice" in returning to me and yet they just can't be happy for us. Our future happiness may prove quite difficult and yet I can't thank them enough. He is finally seeing them in their true colours ... Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ygerna Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 Sadly we can't live peoples lives for them, and they have to make their own mistakes. Sometimes again and again till lessons are learned. I speak from bitter experience, I made lots of mistakes. But, one thing that I always knew, always, was that my family loved me, wanted the best for me but never judged me. Let her know you love her, wish her the best, and try, as hard as it is, to find something to like about her new husband to be. Putting a different angle on it. Suppose you told her you didnt like her fiance, and that she ought not marry him because he is controlling. Suppose she then said she wouldn't. You would never know if it was a choice and decision she would have made for herself, or whether she was just doing something that you made her think she ought to do. Sometimes, sadly, the lesson has to be repeated several times before its learned. I finally learnt mine, the hard way, but I am now married to a very lovely, caring man. and we have three children together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 Same here - I had to learn the hard way - and as Ygerna says, you can't live other peoples lives for them. Just be there for her - no doubt she will need you to be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
