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The Dogmother

Action Man

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No, not you Graham - saw this in the paper last night and found it mightily funny....


After 22 years, Action Man is going back into production. The new model soldier comes with no boots, an unreliable rifle, a broken radio and a Land Rover which falls apart when it goes over a bump. The set is completed by a human rights lawyer, who will follow Action Man around accusing him of abusing prisoners and using disproportionate force.



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:D:D very Good Clare!


on a similar theme....




Hot Flush Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.


Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her sprout. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.


Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too -- big pants with tummy-support panels are included.


Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have given Barbie sore tootsies. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.


No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.


Football Mum Barbie. [Wonder if they have a Football Mum Ken?] All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.


Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the coast. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."


Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car and Ken's boat.


Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.


Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

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