AnnieP Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Great topic. Slightly off the beaten track here, but a great book: Blessed Art thou a Monk Swimming ( by Miriam Dunne). and whilst being probably blasphemous, the complete Bus Driver's prayer, courtesy of the late, great Ian Dury: Our Father, Who art in Hendon Harrow Road be Thy name Thy Kingston come Thy Wimbledon In Erith as it is in Hendon. Give us this day our Berkhampstead And forgive us our Westminsters As we forgive those who Westminster against us. Lead us not into Temple Station And deliver us from Ealing, For thine is the Kingston The Purley and the Crawley, For Iver and Iver Crouch End Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunee1 Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Of course! It started...... Noel Coward was a charmer. As a writer he was brahma. Velvet, jackets and pyjamas, I need to leave a few lines out though.... I think Ian Dury was a genius! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Do you remember the "B" side to "Hit me with your Rhythm stick"? I can remember my cousins and I (in Pangbourne) playing that covertly when we were about 8 and thinking we were dead naughty / brave! Ian Dury is a hero of mine - he came from Upminster y'know. Fantastic lyrics to most of his songs (including one about Billericay near here which escapes my memory for a moment..) and a REALLY great song called "My Old Dad" or something - when his Dad died - really moving to listen to.... anyway - the B-side of Rhythm stick - in glorious technicolour... all together now.... Noel Coward was a charmer.As a writer he was brahma. Velvet jackets and pyjamas, "the gay divorce" and other dramas. There ain't half been some clever b**tards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever b**-tards. Van Gough did some eyeball pleasers. He must have been a pencil squeezer. He didn't do the Mona Lisa, That was an Italian geezer. There ain't half been some clever b**tards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever b**-tards. Einstein can't be classed as witless. He claimed atoms were the littlest. When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness Frighten everybody s**tless There ain't half been some clever b**tards. Probably got help from their mum (who had help from her mum). There ain't half been some clever b**tards. Now that we've had some, let's hope that there's lots more to come. There ain't half been some clever b**tards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever b**-tards. Okey-dokey! Oh! Segovia. Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee. There ain't half been some clever b**tards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever b**tards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever b**tards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders) There ain't half been some clever........ ..................................b**tards. (see - I even censored myself - or, rather, I censored Ian Dury... sacrilege!!!) Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Billericay Dickie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 that's the one, Annie - I knew someone would know... good evening i'm from Essex in case you couldn't tell my given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay and I'm doing very well had a love affair with Nina in the back of my Cortina a seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener she took me to the cleaners and other misdemeanours but I got right up between her rum and her Ribena (some of us still use the phrase "rum and ribena" don't we?) Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 I think you'd better go to Knickerpaedia... but there's more... http://www.lyricsbox.com/ian-dury-the-blockheads-lyrics-billericay-dickie-p29374l.html he was a poet - forget shakespeare, Dury should be taught in English Literature... Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I've got a number of Hendrix albums including a German tour he did:D when the children first saw them they wated to know where I got the big CD's from karen x Jules and Harry always describe vinyl as big CDs. I don't think they've ever seen a record playing (we ditched our record player years and years ago). I've still got some vinyl - I kept all my picture discs (Mel and Kim / Debbie Harry) and I have the 7" single of Picture This by Blondie on Yellow Vinyl. I have most of the Blondie singles I think - I had an idea that I was going to get the sleeves framed and put them on the wall (I love things like that on the wall). Bring your vinyl over next week Dan and I'll get the turntable cranked up. Rosie loves some of my old records. I had to edit my collection quite severly a few years back due to lack of space, but still have some good stuff, yes and some Blondie too. Phil can burn vinyl to digital files - ask him next week and he'll tell you about it because I've never bothered to ask him properly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 It has a smashing picture inside of them strolling through a field in pink flares and clashing tops Mental note for Wolverhampton Antique Market on Saturday morning; get pair of pink flares and clashing top for Omlet Chritmas party at Jimmy's... Shall we all dress up Dan??? That'd be sooo cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Sorry, only just caugth up on this! The reference to Rum and Ribena reminds me of a ditty by Victoria Wood (I couldn't remember all of it, so had to look it up - where would we be without the internet?). A tad lengthy, but worth repeating : Oh dear! What can the matter be?Eight o’clock at night on a Saturday, Tracey Clegg and Nicola Battersby Coming to town double quick. They rendezvous in front of a pillar. Tracey’s tall like Jonathan Miller. Nicola’s more like Guy the Gorilla, If Guy the Gorilla were thick. Their hair’s been done. It’s very expensive. Their use of mousse and gel is extensive. As weapons, their heads would be classed as offensive And put under some kind of a ban. They’re covered in perfumes, but these are misnomers. Nicola’s scent could send dogs into comas. Tracey’s kills insects and dustbin aromas, And also gets stains off the pan. Chorus: But it’s their night out. It’s what it’s all about, Looking for lads, looking for fun, A burger and chips with a sesame bun. They’re in the mood For a fabulous interlude Of living it up, painting the town, Drinking Barcardi and keeping it down, But it’s all alright. It’s what they do of a Saturday night. Oh dear! What can the matter be? What can than terrible crunching and clatter be? It’s the cowboy boots of Nicola Battersby Leading the way into town. They hit the pub, and Tracey’s demeanour Reminds you of a loopy hyena. They have sixteen gins a rum and Ribena, And this is before they’ve sat down. They dare a bloke from Surrey called Murray To phone the police and order a curry. He gets locked up. It’s a bit of a worry, But they won’t have to see him again. They’re dressed to kill and looking fantastic. Tracey’s gone for rubber and plastic. Nicola’s dress is a piece of elastic. It’s under a heck of a strain. Chorus: But it’s their night out. It’s what it’s all about, Ordering drinks, ordering cabs, Making rude gestures with doner kebabs. They’re in the mood For a fabulous interlude Of weeing in parks, treading on plants, Getting their dresses caught up in their pants, And it’s all alright. It’s what they do of a Saturday night Oh dear! What can the matter be? What can that terrible slurping and splatter be? It’s Tracey Clegg and Nicola Battersby Snogging with Derek and Kurt. They’re well stuck into heavyish petting. It’s far too dark to see what you’re getting. Tracey’s bra flies off, how upsetting, And several people are hurt. Oh dear, oh dear, Oh dear, oh dear, Oh dear! What can the matter be? What can that motheaten pile of old tatters be? It’s Tracey Clegg and Nicola Battersby Getting chucked off the last Ninety-Two With miles to go and no chance of hitching, And Nicola’s boots have bust at the stitching, Tracey laughs and says, "What’s the point "Ooops, word censored!"ing? I couldn’t give a b**ger. Could you?" © Victoria Wood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard T Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Jules and Harry always describe vinyl as big CDs. I don't think they've ever seen a record playing (we ditched our record player years and years ago). I've still got some vinyl - I kept all my picture discs (Mel and Kim / Debbie Harry) and I have the 7" single of Picture This by Blondie on Yellow Vinyl. I have most of the Blondie singles I think - I had an idea that I was going to get the sleeves framed and put them on the wall (I love things like that on the wall). Dan - I've got Denis on a 12". That's got quite a cover on it! (Breaks into a sweat) It's frightening to think it's nearly 30 years old. I think vinyl is making a bit of a comback. We've got a record player in the attic which I'll be bringing back into use in the new house. And going back even before vinyl, a friend of mine played me some old blues 78s recently and they sound better than vinyl or CD. Richard T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Wow! Old 78s My folks used to have loads of old 78s, with some fantastic tunes from the late 50s, early 60s. They would be collectors items now, but they chucked them out Dan - Phil says you can borrow his deck if you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 WoW! Brilliant Dan you've not got your 'going out shirt' on though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Poor Debbie looks terrified ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Blue Sky Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 My favourite Ian Dury You'll See Glimpses by Ian Dury & The Blockheads album: [entirely spoken in lucid reflective manner]: You'll see. They think I'm off my crust as I creep about the gaff. But I'm really getting ready to surprise them all. Because I'm busy sorting out the problems of the world. And when I reveal all, I may get a crinkly mouth. I've given my all to the task at hand unstintingly. When it's all over, I'll rest on my laurels. Here for a moment is a glimpse of my plan: All kids will be happy learning things. The wind will smell of wild flowers. "Ooops, word censored!"ody will whack each other about with nasty things. All the room in the world. They take me for a mug because I smile. They think I'm too out of tune to mind being patronised. All in all, it's been another phase in my chosen career, And when my secrets are out, they'll bite their silly tongues. All I want for my birthday is another birthday. When skies are blue, we all feel the benefit. Glimpse Number 2 for the listener. Everyone will feel useful in lovely ways. Trees will be firmly rooted in town and country. Illness and despair will be dispensed with. All the room in the world. They ask me if I've had the voices yet. They don't think I know any true answers. It's true that I haven't quite finished yet. When it all comes out in the wash, they'll eat their words. I've got all their names and addresses. Later on I'll write them each a thank-you letter. Before I stop, here's a last glimpse into the general future. Home rule will exist in each home, forever. Every living thing will be another friend. This wonderful state of affairs will last for always. This has been got out by a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 WoW! Brilliant Dan you've not got your 'going out shirt' on though Obviously only for his favourite girls then!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Maybe she's intending to take you out a lot so you can break in a new one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Debs has chucked my "going out" shirt away! That's a shame - you should've framed it and added it to your 'wall of fame' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I haven't thrown it away, I almost did but it would have been like throwing away an old friend It may come back into fashion.......... one day PS This is our secret, don't tell Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I have some of my dads vinyl Rolling Stones albums - do you think they will be worth anything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Thanks Dan, just wondered really, not intending to flog it any time soon. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I got a lovely "Sticky Fingers" for under a tenner! Dan - this is a family board... Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 quite right, Dan - it's an abomination!! Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 No, definitely no hyphens after colons, that's one of my bugbears and I'm always correcting them on the contracts and proposals at work I've got a couple of old records, but I wouldn't sell them unless they were worth thousands - I like listening to them too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
