Patricia W Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Just stick to your guns - it's your wedding. You're doing what is right for you. And Griffin, if you are serious about wanting a volunteer witness in Wantage at the end of October, I'm only in Abingdon so pm me if you want to. You'll both have lots of people here thinking about you and wishing you well whatever you do! Tricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I cant add anything either, I agree stick to your guns and have things the way YOU want them. I had the wedding hubby and I wanted, quite low key with an evening reception however people didn't agree with us getting married at registry office, well tough for them, I am not religious and not about to be a hypocrite on my wedding day just to get married at church... which is what they wanted me to do.... I also do not agree with all the expense of weddings so mine was very budget.. we prefered toi spend the money buying our first house. Seemed a much better use of the money IMO. Good luck and best wishes for your wedding day, dont let anyone or anything ruin it fror you. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Can't add much to the above - STICK TO IT! It's absolutely and totally your day, "Ooops, word censored!"ody elses and if that means sky-diving, getting married underwater, or doing it dressed as garden gnomes, it's "Ooops, word censored!"ody else's business. Getting married quietly and privately sounds quite normal after those suggestions, doesn't it! You seem to have a really good take on his behaviour and what he's trying to do - just stick at it, and don't feel guilty or bitter or angry because if you do, he's succeeding in making himself the focus of attention. I hope you have a wonderful day that's exactly as you planned it to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ygerna Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 You know what you want. Go for it. Your father sounds like a manipulative bully. Sorry, thats very blunt but he is trying to bully you into doing HIS WILL, therefore he is a bully. Tell him NO. Tell his wife NO. Then go home, snuggle up with your hubby to be and look forward to YOUR wedding YOUR way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Gah! Exactly! Stick to your guns Hun, as everyone has said, it's your day. If he wants to make a fuss about it, that is his choice, but you can also choose not to let it get to you. Let go of that bitterness and, cliched I know but 'have the courage of your convictions'. You know what is right for the two of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 or doing it dressed as garden gnomes Have you seen her hat? This might be a valid suggestion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A chickychickychick-ENN!! Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 Trying every CBT hippy technique I know Snowy. OH just called him and had a very measured conversation. He deserves a halo. He said father was very emotional and wants to see us before the wedding to wish us his best (possibly with a side helping of manipulation and telling us how he feels). We have explained the wedding doesn't actually change us as people and that we will be seeing them two weeks after the wedding (we've seen them very briefly twice since xmas - once because he wanted his computer fixed, and once to pick it up). We normally book in four weekends a year plus xmas, but this year he didn't give us any dates til spring, so we booked in to see them in July and he phoned up to say they wanted to go to the German Grand Prix instead and had lots of other weekends free this summer when we could have gone, knowing full well we were very booked up all summer, hence booking a guaranteed weekend to make time to see them in the first place ) The next weekend we are booked to see them is two weeks after the wedding, to give us a breather weekend after the honeymoon before launching into our duties and booked weekends in the winter. So we have stood firm. And bless his heart, OH stood in the firing line because he knows how much my father can upset me. We watch and wait to see if there'll be any more repercussions. There will probably be some. But the question is - before or after? Trying to breathe now. Ooh - Derren Brown's on the telly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ygerna Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 What a star your OH is. Hope you feel less stressed now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Sorry the CBT keeps slipping in Bless him, he's an angel. Thats why you are marrying him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
