Valkyrie Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Well I can only say that I feel that I've earned more respect from my FIL, and MIL is not so quick to have a go at me. However she does put her oar in with regard to anything negative about my children to other members of the family - particularly if we would rather "Ooops, word censored!"ody else know. Their cousins have a habit of then contacting my children on Facebook to gloat. It has made my son realise that his grandmother is really not very nice. My daughter had her summed up years ago when a cousin told her that "Nana said we have to be careful of you because you can't be trusted" (unfounded and totally untrue - she can and does get very hyper, but trust . . . Which is probably her only way at getting at me - through my children. But you might want to bear that in mind - particularly if you are uncomfortable with both your inlaws - I don't think you would want to risk that with your children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 ....I am mulling over whether I should try to state my views a little more with MIL and FIL - whether this would just cause bad feeling or if it could aid mutual understanding At the risk of stating the obvious, the bad feeling already exists; if it didn't, the dinner wouldn't have been a predictable trial. All the airing of views will do is get the bad feeling out in the open. The only guarantee in all this is that, unless you do take some action, the situation is never going to get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 ....I am mulling over whether I should try to state my views a little more with MIL and FIL - whether this would just cause bad feeling or if it could aid mutual understanding At the risk of stating the obvious, the bad feeling already exists; if it didn't, the dinner wouldn't have been a predictable trial. All the airing of views will do is get the bad feeling out in the open. The only guarantee in all this is that, unless you do take some action, the situation is never going to get better. Totally right. May I also add that you are a grown adult & you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. So don't get railroaded into seeing people or going places that make you unhappy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Agree with both the above - but you must think of the children and how it affects them - they are still young and probably idolise their grandparents. Different for me as mine are in their late teens. Although they will pick up on your feelings - DD noticed long before DS and has been very wary when visiting (and I tried to keep my feelings hidden). DS opened up himself and found he couldn't trust her anymore - which was very sad (I think he blamed his sister for information being passed to cousins up till then). The pros and cons are so frustrating aren't they. We compensated by visiting my folks more - lots of unconditional love there and no nastiness - and even OH preferred going to them because he was treated more as a son and not "a visitor" (his words). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
