chickencam Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 It sounds like you are in a position where you could possibly offer neutral support to this girl. Sometimes presenting someone with responsibility can make them more responsible, this not always the case but hopefully it will be here. My daughter is 16 and although she is quite mature and sensible i would hate to think of her in this situation. I would however support her in any way I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty e Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 This sort of thing terrifies me now. I'm a pretty together thirty year old, with a supportive husband, family and in laws and I have a really good baby - sleeps pretty well, feeds easily, no colic, no bad teething, and I've still found myself having to put her down and walk out of the room because I'm scared I'm going to lose control and hurt her. "Ooops, word censored!"ody could have made me understand how truly frustrating and upsetting babies can be sometimes, even though a lot of the time they're wonderful, before I had Imogen, and I'd spent lots of time around babies before. Some 16 year olds make wonderful mothers, some thirty year olds make terrible mothers, but I think most people are somewhere in between, and if you're an inbetweener, surely age and maturity and a stable relationship help? Having said all that, my brother's girlfriend and my brother are both incredibly immature, as you describe, children in an adult body, and they did well with their baby with a LOT of support from her family (they lived with them for the first year). Maybe you could buy nice simple childrearing books for them. The easiest one to understand I found was by Kaz Cooke and was called The Rough Guide to babies and toddlers. I found it a bit too simplistic and the pictures were a bit childish, so if you want, I can pop it in the post later down the line for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A chickychickychick-ENN!! Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 That's a very kind offer Aunty e. Thank you. Some really interesting views on here. I really appreciate the range and depth of responses and agree in part with all of them, good and bad! Which is what makes it so difficult to support while tongue-biting. Minuses we've covered. Aside from the housing and money side. It's extremely depressing to see a fourth generation of one family make the same sorts of lifestyle choices which result in them living on benefits, and knowing them and that some of them have the potential to do better for themselves and society, I really just want to shake them, but that's a socio-political issue rather than a personal familial one. Even though it's a sort of familial one. Families ! Pluses, she's not alone at the moment. They got engaged before Christmas - she was fifteen - so doing the maths, that must have been when they found out. I think the initiative was his, so he's trying to do the right thing, and I think he means it. She wouldn't have done well at school, so now that's not even in the equation, she's got to make a good go of parenting which is at least a life path direction. She thinks she definitely wants it. At least in the fluffy doll way. Which she'll soon learn about, but at least she thinks she's sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplemaniacs Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I have sent you a pm, a long but positive story. I agree that to be a good mum you do not have to be in your 20's or 30's, there are some good young mums around and also some poor older mums, it depends on the individual. Chrissie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
