scarlettohara Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 As I have bored you all with my divorce before I hope you don't mind if I ask another question My ex and I were supposed to attend mediation but he has now changed his mind (again !) to sort out the financial stuff. His long term financial outlook is a lot better than mine (even though I have a job I do not have the earning capacity or inheritance prospects that he has) so my solicitor is asking for a property adjustment in my favour instead of 50/50. To do this I will have to go to court and have counsel to represent me (unless ex agrees) which will obviously cost money I don't have. Am I being unrealisic and should I just accept half the proceeds of our home which would mean I cannot offer my sons a home near their friends or work (which they understand), and obviously with my morehens disease I cannot live in a small flat so would have to go in with Mum which is a bit scary but hopefully she could have an annex (this is her idea). Sorry bit long Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Scarlett I dont know what to advise - are you eligible for legal aid? I dont know the ins and outs of your marriage but I cant believe this guy who is your sons father is happy to make them homeless. Your sons sound lovely and obviously take after you. Sorry cant advise but I am sure someone will be along soon who can. Frankly I think you are better off without him. Good luck and lotsa Hugs Ali x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffy chick Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 no help I'm afraid but sending (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Not eligible for legal aid atm but probably will be soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadietoo Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Just to say, sorry you are in this awful predicament.... Have to say I would be a little worried about pushing this by having Counsel... the costs...the costs... Realistically, would your ex see his sons homeless ? or if he is able would he sort them out with somewhere to live, just not where you are now???? Can you have a chat with counsel on the phone one to one, for their advice....I would hope that they would be impartial???? I used to work for a Solicitor...you could see the pound signs in his eyes..cash register stylee!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 I have asked my solicitor to estimate my costs. A friend went down that route and their joint costs were £50,000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donald Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 hi no expert but my mother when she got divorced after 34 years of marriage! His fault. Unfortunately blame as you know doesnt come into it, so usually its a 50/50 split. However although her brood were all adults and self sufficient. As she had no pension and he had a higher earning etc they did agree to a 60/40 split in her favour to make up for the shortfall. I am not sure if you have young children which is a whole different ball game. But my warring parents never went to court but managed to sort it out via solicitors. It did take over a year to get this sorted.But yes legal aid etc would be useful. Your ex needs to make his mind up or the money will just get used in legal fees and no one will win. It will still be 50/50. Hope someone who is an expert will come to give you some advice on here. Good luck Donald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Your solicitor is best placed to advise you - whether it's worth going to court depends on how much the joint assets are worth, how much it would cost to go to a trial and what the prospects of success are. I don't think anyone on here can really advise on that. Most cases are settled by negotiation eventually, my advice would be to wait until you have a clearer picture before making a decision. Even if you qualified for legal aid you'd have to repay it from whatever you were awarded, it's very rarely 'free'. I hope you can reach some sort of settlement - generally cheaper and quicker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Olly - she has never given me bad advise but you do wonder if they are just forging ahead to take money from you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Surely your solicitor will be working to give you the best outcome possible? Yes, it might be slightly more costly in the short term, but the long term benefits will be there, especially when we come out of the recession, and property prices start to increase again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Olly - she has never given me bad advise but you do wonder if they are just forging ahead to take money from you I would certainly hope that is not the case, she should take costs into account when she gives you advice (if the costs are out of proportion to what you might expect to gain, she ought to tell you this quite bluntly). I would ask for a written advice from and/or conference with Counsel. Yes, it will cost, but I think it is worth the relatively minor expense before deciding whether to go to court or settle (if you just settle now, you will always wonder "what if" but if you forge ahead with Court action, it could be an expensive mistake)? I would talk to your solicitor and ask her what she suggests, if she recommends getting Counsel's advice, she will almost certainly know the "right" Barrister for you. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 I appreciate what you have all said, but when someone tells you repeatedly that your solicitor is too expensive and just taking your money etc I do sometimes have a wobble. As we are not selling the house immediately the money I am paying my solicitor with is all we have to live on. The barrister she will use is someone she has used before and I have an appointment to meet him. She will email me today and hopefully I can put things into perspective Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweety Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 The barrister will soon tell you whether or not you have a case, and should be able to give you some idea about the likely costs - although things do not always work out as anticipated, and costs can escalate alarmingly. My OH and I are both solicitors ( I no longer practise ),though not in the field of matrimonial law so I cannot give you any advice as regards your case. I would just like to say that, contrary to public opinion, the vast majority of lawyers do not advise their clients to pursue lost causes. As in every walk of life, there are the exceptions to the rule, and they are the ones that get all the publicity. It is very expensive and risky to take action in court, and I'm sure that your lawyers would not advise you to do so unless they thought you had a good case and there was no other option. But there are no guarantees in litigation, and the fact that things may not resolve themselves as you had hoped does not necessarily mean that you have received bad advice. I do hope that you can settle matters without going to court- it is in both parties' interests to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
