AJuff Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Before I got my bees thus year Oh assured me he would help and support me. Since then he says all bee talk is boring, he refuses to read any books or discuss issues. Today I had to undertake an artificial swarm and asked for his help. You'd think I'd asked him to go to the moon and back! I had an irritated lecture about messing about with bees and leaving them alone, interfering wasn't needed etc. I ended up doing it on my own! I do a lot on my own, feel like a single mum sometimes. He works shifts which doesn't help but with everything else he is very unsociable and is only just about civil to my friends. I've been at many a dinner on my own like Norma no mate as he's refused to go, I do parent consultations on my own, go to church on my own etc the list could go on and on! I'm sick of making excuses for him! I'm getting to the point that I envy other couples when they share interests and do things together. Sorry for rant! Got it off my chest! Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reikiranf Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Rant away, I'm glad that you feel better Sorry that I don't have any advice for you though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Well done for doing an artificial swarm on your own! Just a thought - is he a bit scared of bees, and perhaps bluffing a bit to disguise that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJuff Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 He isn't scared of bees as he opened up the hive with me when I did the first inspection back in May. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckmum6 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 This sounds just like the relationship a friend of mine at work is wrestling with, she is close to breaking point as there is only so much she can take. I can only suggest as I did to her that a very honest talk is needed, it could be more productive than suffering in silence. Good luck with whatever you do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 That sounds a bit like me 2 years ago He then left me for someone else. Could you get some marriage counselling ? Your life sounds very lonely, lots of hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I think a talk is in order. You do have to tell some how your are feeling as they often don't notice unhappiness until you are in tears or screaming and shouting. Even then they can completely shocked that there is a problem. Try to make sure that you are not hormonal or overly tired when you do it though as you will spend all of your time crying Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Well done on doing all this with the bees by yourself. We have started with bees this year, and it's been really good that we are both doing this as we can discuss (or argue sometimes) what we should/shouldn't be doing and what the best way to do things is. It's really helpful to be able to bounce things around. On the bees, it may be that when your OH helped you open the hive in May, he had a sudden realisation of what was involved in beekeeping. It may be that he was a bit put off by the sheer number of bees that fly around when you open the hive as, unless you have seen someone else's hive, you don't know whether all that buzzing is normal or whether your bees are really angry. My OH got very, very, badly stung early on, and for the next few inspections he found it hard to go through with a full inspection with all the bees flying around. He's still not 100% confident, but he's getting there. Of course it helps that there are two of us so I can reassure him that the bees are fine, or I can say if I think that the bees are getting a bit angsty. Doing bees on your own is hard both physically and emotionally. I imagine it stops being emotionally hard once one is a bit more experienced and doesn't have all that "what if I'm doing the wrong thing" going on. I don't think it stops being physically hard. But it honestly sounds as if this bee thing is just a symptom of how you are feeling, more a case of "and another thing..." . If so, then {hugs} to you. I would echo the advice you've already been given. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Sounds normal to me but don't make excuses for him, be honest and say sorry he is not sociable and doesn't like mixing. I just make a joke of it. Often it is the differences that give marriages their spark. If you don't come to terms with having a different outlook on life you will just get frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
