AJuff Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 My DS aged 12 has sung in an Abbey choir since he was 8. At the time he had to choose between rugby and choir and he chose choir. We were amazed thinking rugby as he loved to play. He has grown and matured over four years of excellent musical directorship to be a beautiful singer. He confidently sings solos and is next in line to be head chorister when the current chorister (his best mate) voice breaks. (Imminently!) He mentors the younger boys and they adore him. He has travelled with them to Europe and throughout the UK. Highlight was the Rome trip and he has loved every minute. Since the new music director arrived he has wobbled, commitment seems waining and tonight he tells me he'd like to leave. I sent him to choir tonight which he wasn't happy about and I know we'll talk when he gets back. Do I let him leave before his big break? Can I make him reconsider or go along with his wishes? He'll be a big loss to the choir and will miss his opportunity to be head chorister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 That's a tough one - do you know why he is not enjoying it so much with the new music director? If he's enjoyed it so much until now, something must have changed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Obviously I don't know you or your boy but from my experience of four kids - they just change. You think they're set with certain skills and temperament and almost overnight they change tracks and go off in another direction. Everything he's achieved will have been brilliant and part of what he becomes - that's just how I've dealt with things. I still get interests that wax and wane, it's reasonable to me that kids are the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken shack Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Obviously I don't know you or your boy but from my experience of four kids - they just change. You think they're set with certain skills and temperament and almost overnight they change tracks and go off in another direction. Everything he's achieved will have been brilliant and part of what he becomes - that's just how I've dealt with things. I still get interests that wax and wane, it's reasonable to me that kids are the same. Very wise comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubababe Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Personally I wouldn't force him to do something he doesn't want to do, however I do think you need to find out why he doesn't want to go. Maybe a break for a while to see if he will miss it might be an idea. Just tell the choir that he's not to well..they don't need to know what's going on until your son has made up his mind on what he wants to do. Good luck with this. He is coming into the teenage years and this could be the start of him trying to find out who he is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAJ Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Having an 85 year old in the family that still talks about his days as a cathedral chorist it is a life skill, even if going down a different career (in this case engineer), so I can see why you would like him to stay. My view with my daughter has always been, fine, but what are you going to do instead - making time for another interest is one thing, but more time in the bedroom on her X-Box is not. I would discuss it and see if you can set a review time i.e. if you are still not enjoying it after Easter (assume a lot in in an Abbey for Easter) looking at alternative interests - the key being why the change of heart at this stage. Tracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Is his voice on the change ???? I know children can change but not with something they love without a reason. My Grandson is 12 and has danced since 4 yrs old, we sent him to help tone up his very flat feet.He just loves it. Ballet, tap, jaz, street, you name it he'll dance it. He is getting ready for grade 4 tap exams. When he went to high school , a smarty pants girl whom he dances with told All the new starters that my GS dances at her dance class, he took a lot of baiting but he still goes.....he plays fly half for rugby at school... but he still dances.It would take something major for him to quit. Have a heart to heart non judgemental chat and see if there is anything wrong....Girl friend even ...It would be a sad loss if he gave up. I still sing in my church choir and in Cathedral . Have a talk . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
