Installing Indoor Cat Tree

[buffie]

Bless you Clare...17 years ago I recovered, that's my job now helping others with eating disorders.

 

BBx

[The Dogmother]

Good on yer BB

[Karen & co.]

Anorexia is such a misunderstood illness, it's great that there are special people out there trying to help. My neice has it at the moment and her mum is worried sick.

 

Karenx

[red]

Here! Here! - good for you BB Food's a funny old thing - I think a lot of people have "issues" with food even if they are not extreme and have no explicit effects - I always think it's funny (strange - not ha ha) how food can be such a tremendous cause (or rather effect) of people's problems. Cats and Dogs have it easy being given their food in nice sensible portions without the ability to abuse two dozen mars bars. (I just know that someone is going to post soon how their naughty hound has polished off a couple of dozen chocolate bars )

 

Respect to you BB for using your own experiences to help others

[buffie]

Thanks all, my experience has given me a wonderful tool to help others. I'm pretty chuffed to make 40, who'd a thought it!! i'm looking forward to the next phase in my life!!

 

BBx

[Lesley]

No-one would guess looking at you now Jayne - you look the picture of health.

 

I think it is good that you are able to help others with this illness and as Red says, many people have issues with food even if they aren't as obvious as anorexia

[buffie]

Thanks Lesley! Eating disorders come in many forms and to be quite honest I moved between bulimia and anorexia and then a type of compulsive eating disorder. People often don't realise that eating disorders 'morph'. I found there was little help for me 17 years ago and decided about 9 years ago to use my experience to help others. The key to recovery is to understand the mindset and address the behaviour and feelings that are being masked.

 

I stand up without shame and am happy to answer any questions. it's a lonely illness and a secretive one. I was very fortunate to recover without hospitalisation, I believe that my work makes the past a positive thing.

 

I think it's difficult to avoid issues with food, there is so much pressure on image, this goes for men, women and children. Can I just say, tell your children how wonderful they are everyday, they will start to believe it.

 

I have to say the chickens have bought a new phase to my life, quite seriously. I feel more in touch with myself and my values have changed. It's nice to have this forum and you all to share life experience with and I'm sure all of us have something important to give. I do believe in fate.

 

 

A serious topic so I'll sign as

 

Jayne xx

[Lesley]

I have to say the chickens have bought a new phase to my life, quite seriously. I feel more in touch with myself and my values have changed. It's nice to have this forum and you all to share life experience with and I'm sure all of us have something important to give. I do believe in fate.

Jayne xx

 

That's a really lovely response Jayne. I have to agree that chickens have changed my life as well - and only for the better.

[The Dogmother]

I think it's difficult to avoid issues with food, there is so much pressure on image, this goes for men, women and children. Can I just say, tell your children how wonderful they are everyday, they will start to believe it.

 

Great to hear your experiences BB - I like to understand people and issues, so that information is valued.

 

Your quote above is interesting - Rosie still has her baby-chub, and I am always telling her how beautiful she is, and how it is what's inside and the fact that you are a good, healthy person that matters. She is fighting a spirited and constant battle against the images in the press, and some of the unkind (and usually slimmer) children at school. There is tremendous pressure to conform, and I am careful to point out that people come in all shapes and sizes. My heart lurches when she says that she must exercise/eat less as someone has called her fat. She is built like her dad, and will never be a beanpole, bless her. I just want her to grow up happy, healthy and well adjusted; she is an intelligent lass, and I hope that she has the sense to see through all the hype and peer pressure as she gets older.

 

Thanks for the comments BB

 

CX

[buffie]

Rosie is lovely and 'girlie' as you said. If she can look beyond the stereotypes and just enjoy growing up, she will be fine. We all grow and change and it's just not fair for children to be judged, keep on telling her she's wonderful and tell her I think she's lovely. Also I think the inside shines through too, she is a caring soul and 'shines'. Her little body is new, unlike ours and the changes happen much later on, without any interferance from us.

 

 

BBx

[The Dogmother]

Thank you for those kind words Buffster - I will be sure to tell her.

[buffie]

Thank you for those kind words Buffster - I will be sure to tell her.

 

Kind but true Clare.

 

BBx

[Karen & co.]

It's so true what you say about telling your children how beautiful, clever wonderful and all the other positive descriptions.

 

My father always called me ugly, and used to say things like "Have you been on the ugly pills again", always as a joke but it hurt all the same.

 

I don't see much of him now even though he only lives a mile away , as his wife (my mum died ) and he are amongst the most selfcentered people I know, and if he ever starts to say anything similar to my children I can almost see a red mist

 

Karen x

[The Dogmother]

I know what you mean Karen.

My mother is fine 70 miles away! Bless her, but she always finds something to criticise when she arrives - it's either my hair, clothes, housekeeping. I just ignore it now - it's just her way. She comes from a time when mums didn't work, and she doesn't understand that working a 40 hour week doesn't leave much time for housework etc I used to find it hurtful, but I'm happier and more secure in myself these days, so it goes in one ear and out the other.

[Karen & co.]

A friend sent me a copy of a poem I'll try to put it on here as I think it sums things up perfectly, especially if like the rest of us it's juggling soot most of the time

 

You may not find things all in place

friend when you enter here,

We are a home where children live

and we hold them very dear,

You may find some fingermarks

and some smudges on the wall

When they're gone we'll clear them up

right now we're playing ball.

For there's one thing of which we're sure

these children are on loan,

oneday always underfoot

the next you know they're gone.

That's when we'll have a well kept house

when they have gone to roam

Right now it's where the childrenlive

a loved and lived in home.

[Mrs Frugal]

That's lovely! I really like that and so true with two boys!

[Karen & co.]

I thought so too, it made me cry when she sent it to me

 

I've got all sorts of poems like that stuck on the kitchen cupboards, but won't turn this into a poetry forum

 

Karen x

[Cate in NZ]

I had the local TV news on last night while working in the kitchen, and was horrified about a report of a teenage girl who was 5 1/2 stone and battling anorexia who was stpooed by a scout for a modelling agency over the summer.... and told that she had the perfect figure to be a model

I tell both of my children constantly how much I love them, and they know that I think they're perfect in almost every way (tidy bedrooms and homework done without pushing is all that's needed to make them entirely perfect ), but I do worry about peer pressure and the images they see around them in magazines and the like. Seb's fine, going to be tall like his Dad & whippet thin, but strong with it (all that football ), but Imy's ust developing a tiny bit of pre-pubescent puppy fat. She is not fat, not even slightly chubby, but now has a teeny spare tyre around her middle, and she's fretting about it because there's a bit of spare flesh that she can pinch. I keep trying to reassure her that she's gorgeous, but one of her "friends" refers to it occasionally, and has suggested that they go on a diet together, or, better yet, that they both start smoking to keep the weight down It's a worry

[Mrs Frugal]

I've got all sorts of poems like that stuck on the kitchen cupboards, but won't turn this into a poetry forum

 

Why not? We could have a poetry sticky???

[The Dogmother]

Kate A, That is so terrible; I have the same problem with Rosie who is only 7. Her 'best friend', who I try to steer her away from is so thin she is almost transparent (as are both her parents) and is always making remarks to Rosie about her chub. Although she worries about it some of the time, she now realises that it is better to be healthy than any particular size.

 

WE always want what we haven't got, and to some extent, that is human nature - I always wanted to put on weight when I was a teenager, now ai am alarmed by the speed at which my spare tyre grows!

 

Imy still has some growing to do, and so long as she is aware of what constitutes a healthy diet, she won't have any problems. Sounds like you are doing all the right things.

[buffie]

I agree, I see adults who are wounded children sometimes. It's difficult to move on from past hurt but you can. We are all someones children and equally deserve love and respect!

 

Your children will benefit from your knowing what works and what doesn't.

 

BBX

[The Dogmother]

Hey, you're a wise un Buffie

[buffie]

Hey, you're a wise un Buffie

 

Thanks Clare!!

 

BBX