Pro - Does anyone else's nest boxes get soaked in rain?

[HarrisonFamily]

Hi,

 

My daughter is is year 5 so the whole secondary school is now looming...

 

We live in a small village and the local comprehensive is about 15 minutes away, she will be trying the equivalent of the 11 plus which means she will then have the option of 3 different grammar schools all between 30 mins and 40 mins away.

 

The schools all will have open days but I honestly have no idea what to look for and my daughter has no idea how to choose....all have good OFSTED reports...

 

Has anyone any tips on what to look for ?

 

Thank you

 

Helen

[bluekarin]

Go with your gut feeling. You will know when you visit them whether you like them or not. See how the pupils behave around visitors. My ED went to our local all girls grammar school and my YD is at the all girls secondary and the difference when we went to visit them was huge. I don't like the secondary anyway as I went there a few years ago and it didn't seem to have changed at all! The girls were pushing past us to get to the dining hall even though we were trying to get through the door. At the grammar, they held doors open and were very polite. I know now that the girls aren't all like that, and you get good and bad at both.

 

The other thing to take into account is how academic your daughter is as maybe a grammar school environment isn't for her. My EDs school really push for As and A*s at GCSE and ALevel and that can be too much for some girls.

 

Another thing to look at is if it's recently become an academy if it can afford to do so. My DS is at the all boys grammar here and his school is barely able to cope with costs. We had letters this year inviting parents to pay for our sons GCSE exams! I couldn't believe it when I saw the letter. Fair enough to pay if your son misses the exam for not bothering to turn up. Anyway, that's by the by.

 

Anyway, go with an open mind and see what you like

[chickencam]

I agree with first impressions like the behaviour of the pupils on open day matters, but do bear in mind that they tend to choose the pleasant ones to show people around. All open day that we have been to, which is quite a few, have had a talk by the head, heads of year and head boys or girl. These talks give you a good impression of the school and their enrichment programmes etc. the pupils are good to speak to because they tend to be quite honest about their experiences.

 

My 3 have all gone to single sex grammar schools, the advantages are that there aren't the distractions until sixth form of competing for the opposite sex and the vast majority of the pupils are there to learn, therefore there is less disruption. The older two have flourished in the grammar system, the eldest is very diligent and eager to please so probably would have done well anywhere, our son was an intelligent late developer with speech and writing difficulties who received excellent care in the grammar system and did very well by A level and is now at a top university and thriving. Our youngest has struggled with the pressure partly from the school, as stated earlier the grammar schools tell the pupils that anything less than an A grade is effectively a fail, she also found trying to live up to her siblings very hard. On balance though I think she has done better by being at a grammar, not had GCSE results yet though

[Bramble]

I would see if you can speak to other parents with children already at the schools you are looking at.

 

If your daughter is confident and able, she could well flourish in the grammar system, however, if she lacks confidence I genuinely think the grammar system can be the wrong environment - there is much more pressure to succeed and anything less than perfect is unacceptable - I know, I went to an all girls grammar school (yes, rather a long time ago, but certain things haven't changed, I believe) I coped academically but always felt like the poor relation to the real high flyers.

 

Another point that I remember from school is that an all girls school is an incredibly ""Ooops, word censored!"y" place to find yourself if you don't "fit in" with the right crowd. I didn't fit in with anyone and really struggled socially as a result - I guess it comes down to confidence again - if your daughter has confidence she will probably do well anywhere, if not, the social side of things might need a bit more consideration?

[Chucky Mama]

It's a bit like buying a house. You will know when it is right. If they are all similar, take into account, ease of getting there (is there transport laid on or do you have to arrange it yourself?), how many local children (prospective friends) go there and do they have a 6th form. Secondary school is a whole different ball game, you will have much less contact with the school, teachers, friends and friend's parents. Going 'out of area' i.e away from your catchment school, can make local friendships a little more difficult. Our 3 have gone to the local catchment school and it has had ups and downs like many schools. Our children are well motivated and bright so have been very successful. Other local children's parents have looked for schools in the area that they consider 'more upmarket' -they want to say that their children go to school in Marlborough or Royal Wootton Bassettt rather than Swindon! The schools do not differ significantly and these poor parents drive around the countryside for nothing and their chidren have no local friends.

[HarrisonFamily]

My daughter is confident in the way that she likes to be an individual such as things like wearing odd socks to school and would love being dumped in a middle of a forest to survive the week but not so confident making friends !!!!! She went to an open evening at one of the grammar schools and loved it but it is at least 40 minutes bus journey and over an hour if she would like to go to any clubs etc....parents just dropped off and picked up last night so not sure what to think. She does get on with boys alot better and doesn't understand the way girls seem to break up friendships and get back together but of course when she gets older boy friends will be a whole different story.

 

Thank you for the advice I never realised it would be so complicated !!!!

[chickencam]

Our children have all gone to schools that are between 6 and 10 miles away, YD is now keen to go to another grammar for sixth form which is nearly 15 miles away. She would have to be up at 6am daily and the bus journey would be over an hour. We are fortunate that the boys and girls grammars were served by the same private coach company so they travelled together and the bus stop is only 50 yards from out front door. It has cost us a fortune over the years though I wouldn't like to add it up.

[soapdragon]

My son, also in year 5, has Asperger's so I was really worried about finding the right secondary for him. I looked at three local schools including the one that we are in catchment for and liked all of them (tho horrified at the size of 2 as he is at a village school with 70 pupils at present!)

 

However, I have decided to go for the catchment one as they were lovely and I got really good feedback from other families in our village with children there. They have a great setting in plan and it just seemed the right place for Nat. Also it has a 6th form so, if he decides to continue, there won't be another move.

 

Ask around and see what other parents in your area have to say about their experiences. Good luck!