Krysia Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was 'DON'T!' 'Don't what?' Adam replied. 'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said. 'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!' 'No Way!' 'Yes way!' 'Do NOT eat the fruit!' said God. 'Why?' 'Because I am your Father and I said so!' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He despaired! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked. 'Uh huh,' Adam replied. 'Then why did you?' said the Father. 'I don't know,' said Eve. 'She started it!' Adam said. 'Did not!' 'Did too!' 'DID NOT!' Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. ...but there is REASSURANCE in the story! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? Consider the following... 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you.In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. 7. Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. ...and a final piece of advice; If YOU have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do EXACTLY what it says on the Aspirin bottle... 'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' and 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 How true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. HA HA! love that one and the one with the party Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 The one about childrens parties is sooo true, I have met some demons in my time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessa the Duchess Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. Brilliant! It reminds me of a line in the old sit com 'Roseanne'. Roseanne on being a mother "If my children are still alive at the end of the day then I've done my job" Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 I love this I shall have to send brother to this post (he has children, we dont ) cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Very funny....and so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Excellent and very true indeed . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Very funny, and so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ana's flock Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Words of wisdom indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...