Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I'm sure we could all add an extra few lessons from our own experience!!!! For those with No children - this is totally hysterical! For those who already have children past this age - this is hilarious. For those who have children at this age - this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children - this is a form of birth control! (that's why I stick with dogs and chickens ) The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: "Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):" 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room. 5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain bits of Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 2. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly. 15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and are very expensive to remove. 18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing. 25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Brilliant! Especially the last one...as I was reading the list out to OH his eyebrows raised when we got to the bleach and brake fluid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Yes, (& Paul) was looking thoughtful when we got to that one - thank goodness we dont "do" bleach in this house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacky Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 It did make me laugh thankfully mine are past that stage My friends son who is the same age as my eldest is nick named 'Danger Kid' by my two just because some of the antics he has got up to over the years one that springs to mind that has never been forgotten was puting a sipder in a CD player to make it dizzy and eating ants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 [thinks to self] *if only Mel had posted this 9 months ago* [starts to cry] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 No twinges yet, Gina, or are you actively crossing your legs now you've read that post?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 [thinks to self] *if only Mel had posted this 9 months ago* [starts to cry] oh sorry Gina Didnt mean to make you cry *thinks* good grief are all hugely pregnant women this emotional Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Oh Gina. We'll all be here to help you through it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 breathe breathe breathe Phew, feel much better now, all this talk of children was making me dizzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 [thinks to self] *if only Mel had posted this 9 months ago* [starts to cry] *thinks* good grief are all hugely pregnant women this emotional Oh much, much worse........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 THAT'S why I stick to chickens and dogs. (& Paul)'s eyes would fall out with if I got any MORE emotional Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Oh much, much worse........ You too Linda! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Oh yes! I remember it well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken on a mission Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 When I was preganant I only ever got emotional at some hubby had done... or hadn't done... or should have done my way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 When I was preganant I only ever got emotional at some hubby had done... or hadn't done... or should have done my way Why can't they just get it right in the first place?!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Because they are men and they're not able to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken on a mission Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 When I was preganant I only ever got emotional at some hubby had done... or hadn't done... or should have done my way Why can't they just get it right in the first place?!! ANSWER: Because if hubby is in danger of getting it right the first time I simply move the goal posts. You can't let them get idaes above their station and have to keep 'em on their toes don't ya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
