Britannia Ovens (esp Range cookers) your experience

[mostin]

Hi Colin,

 

Another hand waver here.

 

I've been chased by that dog for quite a few years now on and off , but I was officially diagnosed with bipolar 2 years ago.

 

I got my worst ever down at the best time in my life. Had just changed from a job I was miserable at to one I loved, moved to a house I loved, hubby changed to a job he preferred finally lost loads of weight, then it all just fell apart.

 

A couple of years, a good battle with glandular fever on top of it all, and 5 stone heavier , I'm finally getting back to myself. Still not working full time, but doing 3 days now.

 

That damn dog still visits from time to time, with no reason, but I can honestly say that chickens have been better than loads of my medications. Even when nothing else can get me of the sofa or out of bed, I will always be dragged out to watch my girls and smile or even laugh at their antics. Nothing else has ever got me through my dark times like they have before, not even chcocolate .

[Seagazer]

Another hand waving here too. Mine was about 7 years ago and followed a bout of one illness on top of another. I absolutely hated the way I was at the time. Got some medicine which worked (well numbed me ). I stayed on it for quite some time and went back for repeat prescriptions time after time. Then I saw a wonderful locum doctor who wanted me to come off the drugs and take some counselling. Best thing I did. Sorted out quite a few issues I'd had from my past, parent's divorce, cousins deaths etc. I actually had lots of family problems (extended family illnesses and then my best friend died) but it all occured during the counselling and I dealt with it through talking.

 

I've had people who have said I don't understand how you can be depressed you have a lovely house, husband, kids etc but its not a decision you make. Its a chemical imbalance. If its very mild then you probably can do it with fresh air, exercise etc. but sometimes you need extra help.

 

My SIL is currently going through it, she now understands what I went through and we can talk and I can tell her that she will come out of it. Its not an overnight thing.

 

I do fear having a relapse at any time. Especially now that I'm perimenopausal, YS is needing me less, hubby just been made redundant etc but I'm keeping up with the walking and I do try to talk more.

 

Plus of course there are the chickens and the forum. I hope you can manage your way through this time, we're all here for you.

[WarrensWorld]

Good morning, hand wavers all. I was going to say how funny it is, that the begger bites you when everything is going so well. It reminds me of Stevie Smiths poem, 'Not Waving But Drowning',

 

"I was to far out all my life

And not waving but drowning".

 

Well I think we've learnt how to swim, and we all have great life-guards/partners. Chooks are a good reason to get out and about. Their antics really make Eileen and moi laugh, and that's good for you.

Time to wave and go release the Chooks. By heck it's going to be sunny day.....

[Seagazer]

Good morning, hand wavers all. I was going to say how funny it is, that the begger bites you when everything is going so well. It reminds me of Stevie Smiths poem, 'Not Waving But Drowning',

 

"I was to far out all my life

And not waving but drowning".

 

Well I think we've learnt how to swim, and we all have great life-guards/partners. Chooks are a good reason to get out and about. Their antics really make Eileen and moi laugh, and that's good for you.

Time to wave and go release the Chooks. By heck it's going to be sunny day.....

 

Funnily enough that poem really had an effect on me when we did it in English Lit at school

[Alis girls]

Hi Colin - glad you have support- my cats (I'm chuckfree - hopefully get some later this yr) make me laugh. I think we a slightly barmy family and the cats and rabbits seem barmy at times too. Our cats are so funny, and despite cattery and vet fees to moan about I wouldnt be without them. Amazing how many people it affects and PND i had very bad after first son. As a nurse I can spot it in a new mum immediatly and can tell the baby blues from the full monty type of depression. Anyway have a good day - lots of support here - great lot of people - Ali

[carrie]

I too can relate to feeling worse when everything seems to be just fine. I think when things are tough I tend to get on with it all, almost on autopilot, it is only when things start to sort themselves out and everything is returning to normal that I feel worse. Perhaps it a coping mechanism.

Other people (non depresion sufferers) don't understand and find it hard to sympathise, I have one friend who thinks I should do exactly what she says to make myself immediately feel better, I know she is well meaning but it does annoy me.

[mostin]

I know what you mean. Luckily I some really good friends, but my family struggle a lot to understand.

 

One of my Dr's explained that one theory is that when you are going through the bad times, you just put your head down and cope. When things are better, your body and mind then decides that you can deal with what happened to you, that's when it hits you .

[chickencam]

I am very like that, give me a crisis and I cope better than most, but give me an easy life and I fall apart and just want to hide in my bed all day especially in the winter.

 

I find the long summer holidays hard because although I love the company of my children, I do need some quiet time each day and more than anything I need a routine to keep me going without that I tend to get overwhelmed by things that need doing and again just want to hide in my bed. I actually find if I have too much sleep it brings things on with me.

 

I suspect that I am a bit manic because I have very good days and very bad ones

 

Wishing you well and hope the world looks brighter soon.

 

As others have said, having to get up and see to the chickens has helped me no end.

[Tiggy]

there's a lot of it about I've had bouts all of my life & have done all sorts of very stupid things as a consequence, it does get better. Having a good GP & a friend always helps, chatting on here is good, you are never alone

[WarrensWorld]

I have one friend who thinks I should do exactly what she says to make myself immediately feel better, I know she is well meaning but it does annoy me.

Yes I had one of them. The real killer however is the ding-bat that says,

Pull yourself together!......... If I could do that, don't you think I would........

[xChicken04x]

Ahhhhh, yes *puts hand firmly in the air* I've been suffering with anxiety and depression for the last three years, due to my M.E.

I, too, find some people have little simpathy, but it's just pure ignorance. Admitidly, I was probably one of those people, before I became unwell, it's just so hard to understand. As a sufferer even I don't understand.

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope you are feeling brighter soon. Just keep your chin up and stay proud.

 

xxxx

[fluffyfeet]

My sister (3 yrs younger than me, I'm 44) who works in the NHS and has worked in the Psychiatric department (clerical) tells me I'm imagining it, revelling in it, using it as an excuse etc etc.

 

Guess what - she's never suffered with depression.

 

I get very angry at people who have no experience of depression, or anything else for that matter, and then think that their opinion is the only one you should listen to.

 

I'm off before I rant.....

 

Dawn x

[mostin]

My sister (3 yrs younger than me, I'm 44) who works in the NHS and has worked in the Psychiatric department (clerical) tells me I'm imagining it, revelling in it, using it as an excuse etc etc.

 

 

That sounds quite like my family , what understanding souls some folk are.

 

Don't even get me started on the "pull yourself together" speech, or the equally helpful "just try to get yourself moving darling" , that mother dear has given in the past, bless her .

 

It's amazing how people can sit and preach at you when they seem to be able to ignore the fact that that you look like a bag woman, and your hair looks black, as it is so greasy as you haven't washed it for more than 2 weeks, as the effort required to do it makes you cry and hide in the bed for three days until your OH finally drags you out and has to wash you like a child.

 

But never mind, I'm sure we can get over that in a day or two if we just pull ouselves together .

 

Sorry, just my little rant there , I told you not to get me started .

[Lesley]

But....it's difficult for observers as well

 

We feel so helpless - a broken leg, a scald, a graze on a child........we're able to do something about that.........and it is acceptable.

 

Trying to help someone in the grip of depression is sooooooo difficult You can't help them unless they want to be helped.....we don't know which might be the best way to jump?. How do you get someone who can't realise that they are ill to go to se the GP? I took my relative to the GP under false pretences with the baby, went in with her and baby when called, told the GP that she needed to talk and fled with the baby before said relative killed me It worked for the best, but wasn't easy to do.

 

I'm guilty of trying to foist exersize on sufferers - it has been proven to help with mild depression. I try to get it happening while the situation is still mild and may help.......but if you don't have a mild spell before a deeper depression then we miss that slot........and we still, miserably, try it 'just in case' We can hear the words coming out and wince inwardly...........but we still do it......because we need to help, we want to help

 

It is very hard to watch someone you love plunge into the abyss

[mostin]

But....it's difficult for observers as well

 

We feel so helpless - a broken leg, a scald, a graze on a child........we're able to do something about that.........and it is acceptable.

 

Trying to help someone in the grip of depression is sooooooo difficult You can't help them unless they want to be helped.....we don't know which might be the best way to jump?. How do you get someone who can't realise that they are ill to go to se the GP? I took my relative to the GP under false pretences with the baby, went in with her and baby when called, told the GP that she needed to talk and fled with the baby before said relative killed me It worked for the best, but wasn't easy to do.

 

I'm guilty of trying to foist exersize on sufferers - it has been proven to help with mild depression. I try to get it happening while the situation is still mild and may help.......but if you don't have a mild spell before a deeper depression then we miss that slot........and we still, miserably, try it 'just in case' We can hear the words coming out and wince inwardly...........but we still do it......because we need to help, we want to help

 

It is very hard to watch someone you love plunge into the abyss

 

Bless you Lesley,

 

well if it makes you feel any better, even in my darkest days I still trust my best friend and my OH. They are the ones who drag me to the Dr and tell me when I am being paranoid. I believe them because I have made promises to myself when I am well to believe them.

 

When it comes to my mum , she can hurt me with a word even on my best days, so it's no surprise she hurts me so much when I'm down .

 

I hate, hate, hate, excersise for excersise's sake, just going for a walk seems pointless to me? But give me a pitchfork and I will muck out a stable until i am red sweaty and can barely breathe. friends have had to figure this out and trick me .

 

I had a very similar experience of being almost frogmarched to the Dr's, as you did to your friend. thought I was going with OH to discuss a number of things but he and best friend had pulled a fast one. I was not cross at all but realised how bad I had got, and I am eternally grateful to them. I hope your friend is to you .

[Space Chick]

 

One of my Dr's explained that one theory is that when you are going through the bad times, you just put your head down and cope. When things are better, your body and mind then decides that you can deal with what happened to you, that's when it hits you .

 

I can totally appreciate this. I lost 3 very close relatives (both parents and my nan) within a space of 10 months. Everyone couldn't believe how well I coped, thought I was amazing.

 

then a couple of months after the last bereavement I lost it, couldn't cope with even the simplest of tasks, walked out of a supermarket with a full basket of shopping because I wanted to go home, and didn't even realise I was holding a basket.

 

I had some fantastic counselling which really helped, although I do find myself having to chase off the black dog from time to time.

 

My current problem, is that my OH is in the process of a Black Dog visit, and I can't get him to get help. I know whats happening as I've seen it myself, I'm worried that with trying to help him with no success I might end up with the Black Dog visit myself as I can see the early warning signs.

 

Any help on how I can get help for OH would be appreciated.

[Lesley]

That's a very difficult situation Debs - do you have any close family or friends who would be able to help?....could you find any other way to get him to a GP and perhaps prime the GP beforehand?

 

I hope you don't have to cope with this on your own - even if you only have us to help.

Feel free to offload on here.

[chick wiggle]

Gosh, I'm so sorry for you Debs, what a dreadful time, and Colin and Eileen and indeed anybody going through such an awful time. This black dog sounds really vicious and how insensitive some people can be is amazing. I dont really know what to say, as Leslie said, a broken leg etc. you know what your dealing with, just wanted to let you know that some non-sufferers do really try and understand and hopefully the 'stigma' that goes with this illness is lessening daily.

[Seagazer]

I'm sorry DebsL it must be very hard especially if your husband doesn't want any help. I would perhaps try to have a chat with your doctor and see if they can suggest a way to get him some help. I'm sending you a {{{{hug}}}}.

[Space Chick]

Thanks all, I am thinking that speaking to my GP might be the way to go first, especially as I have a really good relationship with her.

 

I appreciate you all being there.

[Lesley]

That sounds like a good plan Debs

[mostin]

 

One of my Dr's explained that one theory is that when you are going through the bad times, you just put your head down and cope. When things are better, your body and mind then decides that you can deal with what happened to you, that's when it hits you .

 

I can totally appreciate this. I lost 3 very close relatives (both parents and my nan) within a space of 10 months. Everyone couldn't believe how well I coped, thought I was amazing.

 

then a couple of months after the last bereavement I lost it, couldn't cope with even the simplest of tasks, walked out of a supermarket with a full basket of shopping because I wanted to go home, and didn't even realise I was holding a basket.

 

I had some fantastic counselling which really helped, although I do find myself having to chase off the black dog from time to time.

 

My current problem, is that my OH is in the process of a Black Dog visit, and I can't get him to get help. I know whats happening as I've seen it myself, I'm worried that with trying to help him with no success I might end up with the Black Dog visit myself as I can see the early warning signs.

 

Any help on how I can get help for OH would be appreciated.

 

sorry Deb's

 

not got back to straight away as been thinking about your problem. how proud is your OH? The male ego can cause huge difficulties when facing stuff like this. Some blokes are fairly modern and willing to accept this kind of thing, where as others would see it as a complete failure of the manhood.

 

what type of bloke is your OH? It will help to think of ideas on how to tackle it.

 

One way to do it would be to play on his love for you. You could say to him "I f I was acting so and so, or saying so and so etc what would you do?" He might say, "Well i would know you're depressed again and I would make you seek help". You could then point out that these are not things you are doing but things he is doing, so why shouldn't you make him do what he would make you do?

 

Just an idea, but I don't know your OH so it may not suit your circumstances.

 

let us know how your doing, it's so hard I know. xxxxxxxxxxx

[Space Chick]

My OH is quite a proud one, when I have tried to tackle it with him he's said that seeing his doctor would be admitting he had a problem, and that they'd only put him on anti-depressants and that wouldn't solve his problem, just hide it.

 

He has also had problems with his GP in the past, and so is reluctant to go due to previous bad experiences.

 

I have managed to get him to start taking St Johns Wart and a B Vitamin complex, which are helping a bit, he's getting less angry and shouty now (and he's such a mild mannered man usually) but he is still very down.

 

I think the only time I see him smile is when he is playing with the dog or out with the chickens and taking photos of them.

 

Lets see what my GP says, but any advice would be gratefully received.

 

Colin, can I just say, I really admire you for starting this thread.