4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[dippy bird]

My cat Ruby went missing for a couple of weeks, and I found her this morning just down the road in a neighbours garden. I brought her home and kept her in for a couple of hours, but she wasn't happy and was crying to go out again. Before I let her out,I nipped out and bought her a new collar and tag.She looked really well and it was obvious that someone had been feeding her,so I wanted them to realise that she did have a home. Anyhoo, I have just had a phone call from the family that have been feeding her! They are distraught because they have fallen in love with her - she is actually there right now all curled up fast asleep! What do I do? It's not like I can force a cat to come home is it? I have said that I was just relieved to know that Ruby was alive and was ok - I don't want them to think that I am happy to just desert her, but I can't force the cat to stay in the house just to please me.

Would you let the other family keep her or demand that she is brought home?

[Joojoo]

Hi

 

If it was me I would explain to them that while you are grateful that they have been looking out for her, that she isn't a stray and can they please stop feeding her. If you try keeping her in for a week or so maybe that would help break the habit with her. But certainly don't be forced into rehoming her like that. It's very nice that they've looked after her but she isn't their pet for them to keep. It really makes me cross that people do this without checking first. If she looked scraggy and thin it's one thing but if you can visibly see that she is cared for they should leave well alone. At the end of the day she is your pet. I wouldn't worry too much about her wanting to be somewhere else - if they stop feeding her she will soon realise where home is

 

I've had this happen with mine before now. Out all night and me worrying myself silly and pacing the streets at 2am in my jamas trying to find them. They were in the house over the back - silly woman was luring them in with chicken carcases of all things I was furious!!! I think Aunty E has had a similar problem recently too if you have a look on the "Other Animals" section.

 

Good luck xx

[jess]

I would tell them to stop feeding your cat. Sorry but it is your cat!!!

[whoopsie]

Oh very difficult. How do YOU feel about Ruby? I had trouble with one of my rescues who decided the preferred the house at the end of the street and they were not very happy, so I had to shut her in for good - mind you she was fine about it (she's old and makes no attempt to go out now).

 

If you are happy and the other family want her then maybe let her make her decision, but she is YOUR pet and she will get over it.

 

I hope this helps

 

Vicky x

[Cinnamon]

Tell them a teeny white lie - say she is on a special vets diet & must only be fed by you.

Explain that therefore it would be simpler if they didn't encourage her into their home......

 

Of course,it could be really handy if you went on holiday,but like you I would not be happy.

 

I still suspect that Chilli has another Mum somewhere - one who regularly removes his collars or takes the linked tag from his collar that has my name on it

[Olly]

I've had exactly this happen to me. It was a little easier for me, because I'd adopted Sherman (the cat who went wandering) to help a friend out, but he had never really settled with my existing cat and there were frequent confrontations between them. It would also have been very difficult to keep him indoors.

 

I decided to let him choose, and I was relieved to know that he had a loving home (they had genuinely believed him to be abandoned when they started feeding him). If it had been my other cat however, I'd have been devastated and would have tried to keep her in until the habit had broken.

 

I think it partly depends on how bonded you feel with Ruby, and how much you would miss her - if you ask them to stop feeding her, and keep her indoors as much as possible, she will settle down again - Aunty E has just had the same situation. If on the other hand you think that perhaps she'd be happier there, well that's a decision only you can make.

[dancing cloud]

I am with others here and, unless you are happy for Ruby to find another home, would be asking the new family very nicely if they could stop feeding her and encourage her to come home. I would be saying things like how very worried you were when she went missing, how glad you are to have found her safe and well, that you're very grateful she found such lovely people to care for her, but you really do love her and want her home.

 

I know it's not the same for them but, if they want a cat, there are shelters full of them, desperate for such a lovely home, they don't need to take Ruby!

 

I have taken in two "wandering in the garden cats" and was always careful to ask around to see if anyone knew where they came from. Puddy was very hungry and frightened when she showed up and was with me for over a year before I eventually decided no one was looking for her and had her chipped and innoculated. Tozi had been around on and off for a couple of years - see my post here viewtopic.php?f=28&t=53837&view=unread#unread - but then he was in such a very poor state in January this year that if he'd had an owner I'd have taken him off them. You could have played a tune on his ribs (but he's lovely and solid now, with just a hint of neck roll ).

 

I know cats do tend to pick their own homes, but Ruby might be less happy with her "new" home if there was less food in it and she was put outside! How would her new family feel if roles were reversed? If you're not happy to let her go, be brave and say so - nicely, but say so.

 

Sending you ((hugs)) and wishing you all the best.

[Redwing]

I'm with Sarah, I would say she is on a vets diet and ask them to stop feeding her

 

Are you well connected in the cat world? you could offer to help them source a cat of their own

 

Whatever way they need to stop feeding her - phoning you up was a kind of emotional blackmail really

[Seagazer]

I'm with the others on this too and think I would ask the other family not to feed her, keep her in and hope for the best.

 

I think then if she keeps disappearing you may just have to accept that she wants to be in the other house but its a bit unfair of them to feed her.

 

They really should have checked to see if anyone owned her first.

[Chucky Mama]

If it were the other way around I doubt they would be too happy if you took their cat . If she needed expensive veterinary treatment I bet they would be only too glad to say she way all yours. I personally would ask them to stop feeding her and point them in the right direction to get their own cat.

[Ziggy]

I would agree with everyone else, cats' ways and preferences can change a lot (one of mine goes weeks hardly visiting us, just popping in once in a while, then spends a few weeks hardly moving from a chair in the conservatory), so although it is lovely of you to wonder what Ruby would prefer, what she does and wants now might not be the same in a while...

If the other family got attached to her, they will understand if you explain that you are attached to her too, and if they are honest with themselves they can't expect you to give her up just because they like her.

I have five cats, two of which roam around and charm other people who might or might not feed them (they are all collared so I hope that's a clue but some people would feed cats anyway), but I consider them as mine, I look after them, feed them, stroke and talk to them when they come in, take them to the vet for vaccinations and whenever needed for anything, pay their insurance, so other people shouldn't assume they'd have a right to have them just because the cats visit them and they enourage it by making the cat feel welcome with food or whatever.

 

I had this happening the other way round, with a cat 'adopting' us. He spent more and more time in the garden, ate greedily when I did give him food, and started coming in and spending all his time on the sofa. We were starting to talk about getting a vet to check if he was microchipped, when by asking neighbours we found out who he belonged to. His family had been away for two months and left him to be fed by said neighbour. I was disappointed, and I did feel for him being left so long with no company at home, but as soon as we knew this I stopped feeding him and while I wouldn't have chased him away from the garden, I didn't encourage him to come in the house. He still came in occasionally, but went back home once his family was there again (they locked him in for a few days). Mind you, I don't know what happened after that, because the said cat became quite aggressive, rubbing himself on people's legs in the garden but scratching if touched and so on, and later when I got my own cats he was a right bully with them.

 

Anyway, cats have their funny ways but at the end of the day your pet is your pet, and while in some circumstances it might be right to let them go to another family, you shouldn't feel under pressure to do so if you would prefer to keep her. Hopefully the other family can get themselves their own cat, which might also encourage Ruby to stay with you more.

 

Editing to say : at least the family called you to talk about it, while that doesn't mean you have to let them have their way, they at least didn't ignore the collar and the fact that Ruby belongs to you. The thought that anyone could remove collars or tags from an animal, as someone else said had happened to their cats, fills me with dread. That's dishonest and plain attempt at theft in my view.

[Aunty e]

This is pretty much exactly what has happened to us with Minnie. I kept her in at night, and bribed her with lots of yummy food and sent OH round to ask people to stop feeding her. I also collared her, although someone is STILL removing her collars, which makes me very very cross.

 

I've been getting quite a lot of phone calls from people asking if I've lost my cat, because she's still tarting herself around the neighbours. Now if I thought that she was genuinely unhappy, I would consider letting her stay with an obviously nice family, but in Minnie's case, she was a bit unsettled by the new baby and the kittens and she does now spend a lot of time here as well. Most of it asleep mind you, but it's time at home. And she's a greedy pig and is no doubt persuading most of our neighbours that she is in fact a poor starving little pusscat and should be given chicken.

 

Anyway, what I was going to say was that if you were ok with Ruby finding a new home, then just talk it out with the family, maybe insisting that you be given updates every so often or that she is returned to you if circumstances change. Otherwise, I would keep her in for a significant amount of time every day, normally overnight, bribe her with lovely food and lots of attention (if she likes that sort of thing) and ask your neighbours to stop feeding her as she has a 'delicate' stomach.