Eglu Go With 2m Run For Sale

[Happy chickens!]

In my vountary capacity at a local sport club, I do come across all sorts, but I am fairly easy going and take most things in my stride. However the last couple of days another volunteer has decided he doesn't like some things, so thinks that shouting down the phone at me and calling me stupid, then threatening me is the way to sort things. I put the phone down on the last call.

 

I don't mind disagreements, life would be very boring if we all thought the same etc, and I don't mind straight talking getting to the point type of conversation, but ranting and raving..... no thanks.

 

Feel all het up, and cross with myself that he is winding me up! Please send me some calm vibes and tactics for dealing with bully boy mentality who doesn't like to listen much!

[Seagazer]

Oh no you don't need that do you? I'm sending you lots of calming vibes and positive thoughts.

 

Is he always like this or is it a one off? I'm just wondering if something is happening in his life at the moment to make him feel this way?

 

I hope you manage to get it sorted out, you shouldn't have to put up with it.

[jomeena]

I agree, he could have things going on in his life that are upseting. Although its not fair to take it out on you, this is normaly what happens. The ripple effect. Go and talk to your girls for a while if you can, I find they have a very soothing way about them.

Sending you love and calm. Dont let the "Ooops, word censored!"s get you down xx

[kinsk]

I can not stand people like that, and it really can get to you no matter how much you try not to let it.

 

In my previous job I used to get a lot of incredibly rude tenants and landlords who thought the louder they shouted and the more abusive they were the faster/cheaper something would get done.

 

My way of dealing with it was to sit quite and let them huff and puff, do not try to respond of get a word in, then when they have finished their ranting still stay quite then outright ask them if they think it's acceptable to speak to someone like that - especially when you are both in a volunteering capacity. The "if you'd like to stop shouting at me I may be able to help you" approach often works.

 

Hope you feel better soon. Is there no one that coordinates volunteers that you could complain to about his behaviour?

[Chucky Mama]

Why don't people like this put their energy into something positive Poor you, I know how you feel. I had a very rude lady on the phone yesterday. She was so very rude and wouldn't listen. Finally after being super polite to her seh discovered that she had the wrong company. She then had the cheek to say 'well you have the same phone number' - of course we don't She barely apologised Some people just don't have any social graces and whilst I would love to have pointed out how rude she was I think that I did the right thing by keeping quiet. I am sure that this person harrassing you will be known to others for being a pain so take a deep breath adn try not to let them drag you down

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Is there a non-voluntary person there you can talk to so that the situation can be resolved with some calm?

 

If he is being aggressive, why not state calmly but strongly 'I am happy to listen to what you have to say, but I will not be spoken to in that tone. If you continue to speak to me aggressively I will hang up on you and will be raising the matter of your attitude with XXX.' If he continues in that tone, hang up. That way, you've set a reasonable expectation about how you wish to communicate. Even if he thinks he has genuine anxiety about function, he has no right to speak with aggression, threat and intimidation.

[majorbloodnock]

I agree. Best thing to do is start a bit of contingency planning, and identifying someone else in the club who can be called on for support is sensible.

 

Do bear in mind, though, that insulting and/or threatening behaviour towards you is against the law, so you don't have to stand for it. I'm not for a minute suggesting that your first course of action should be in court, but the knowledge that this volunteer is breaking legal as well as just moral codes may be helpful if you

 

• want to point out to him how unacceptable is his conduct.
  
• want to remind the club of its responsibilities to you and indeed all others representing it as an organisation.

 

Therefore, amass a bit of backup, then quietly and clearly state your case to the offensive party in question.

[Happy chickens!]

Thank you all - I have had some chicken therapy in the sunshine, followed by a quick fix of retail therapy, so am much calmer now.

 

I do normally listen calmly, and have pointed out that threatening is not the way to have a positive outcome. This person is known for his short fuse and tends to get away with it as he does a lot of very hard work, but there is a limit and for me it was reached this morning.

 

I have 'reported' him to club manager, as I genuinely think that he is putting a lot of good people off getting involved and at the end of the day you do not get the best out of people by shouting at them. Everyone makes mistakes, but no one deserves to be treated like that.

 

Omleteers unite against rude people!!

[Egluntyne]

Even though you are there as a volunteer, you are entitled to be treated with fairness and respect. Go to the person in charge and discuss it with them.

 

Shouting and calling you names is unacceptable. Some would call it bullying. Stamp on him.

 

Your manager has a duty to listen to you and investigate the matter.

[Saronne]

Totally agree. Bullying and ranting is unacceptable. Is the person normally like that, or was s/he having a very bad day? Regardless - that person should apologise to you.

 

 

Saronne x

[Chucky1]

Just wanted to add my support. There is some good advice here from other respondents. Its good that you have reported him to the club manager.

 

I quite liked Seagazer's view. If the situation warranted, I'd be inclined to ask "Is there something going on in your life at the moment, that is making you behave like this?"

[Valkyrie]

I would have put the phone down too. Happened with our company and the guy rang back and complained about me - I did warn OH that this guy was ranting and swearing when I put the phone down on him (he also said don't you want my business and I nearly said we're not that desperate). He obviously said some other things to OH because he said I know her well enough to believe her rather than you. Harrrr! Although my knees went to jelly and my face was burning and felt rather sick at the time.

Don't stand for it and you don't have to listen to him - if he continues to bully you face to face and on the phone then I agree with Egluntyne.

[henriette]

Even though you are there as a volunteer, you are entitled to be treated with fairness and respect. Go to the person in charge and discuss it with them.

 

Shouting and calling you names is unacceptable. Some would call it bullying. Stamp on him.

 

Your manager has a duty to listen to you and investigate the matter.

I can really understand your frustration and no way should you have to put up with the "bullying". My experience in voluntary work is that there are as many bullies in that area as in non-voluntary work I do agree also that perhaps, if he doesn't normally behave in such a way, then maybe he hasan underlying problem. Glad time with the chooks and a bit of retail therapy worked though

[cathybc]

Sorry to hear about your experience, Happy Chickens!. Hope things sort themselves out and try not to dwell on it (hard I know).

[Happy chickens!]

I am calm personified today..... the person in question has had I understand a right royal ticking off today . Wonder if I'll get an apology? Don't think I'll hold my breath, just hope he can think before he speaks in future!

 

Thanks for all your lovely omlet vibes, it does help!

[Seagazer]

Thats good

[Egluntyne]

Good to hear that you are feeling happier and that the person concerned got what s/he deserved. Even if things are tough at home, there is no excuse for ranting at colleagues.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Cool! Eg's bang on - no excuse for it.