Alis girls Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 She is entitled to her opinion however to criticise her DIL who is trying like so many mums and dads to work round school activites - lets face it - we now have fetes, Christmas fayres, parent evenings you name it we have it - + work, homework there is very little time for anything esp with apart time job even. Shes treading on very dodgey ground. May I add a positive = if like many people spending Christmas with someone who has to put her oar in you could use as an excuse to not meet up this year. I know its only one day but you want it to be a good un. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Hope the appointment went well today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Movicol - brain has woken up What's with the movicol May sort out MIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Well it might I s'pose if she talks out her derriere - but it was a bit of advice for Clur about constipation for her little boy. Not sure if laxatives sort out MIL probs not having one. Try and see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sari Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Well it might I s'pose if she talks out her derriere - but it was a bit of advice for Clur about constipation for her little boy. Not sure if laxatives sort out MIL probs not having one. Try and see NAUGHTY!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sari Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 You have my utter sympathy..and hugs to you all- I have IBS and stress does flare it up awfully. I also have a ( I hate to say it) stereotypically Jewish Mother-in Law. Really. She honestly plays up this role, and doesn't see any wrong in it. I love her, but she frustrates me. The sun truly does shine out of both her sons' backsides.......I have a constant rollercoaster of a relationship with her....I work hard just to keep it level. SHe does question my parenting, but only in a nice way....and only yesterday said my father in law doesn't understand me...after 20 years..... I can't add any more except, sorry, I I can you send HUGS and add you to my " big thinks" list.( my version of praying) ....and I too have a child with bald patches, Topsy has contracted an infection through her flared up eczema.....and has lost hair all along her parting, in little circles/ Hugs to all our children too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clur Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 Well we had the psych appointment for DS. MIL turned up and sat with DS and offered an opinion when she was asked for one, so in that respect she was well-behaved. I could have done without being looked at all daggers, but was happy to let that pass. After the appointment, in the car park I tried to talk to her. I said she was entitled to her opinion and I could see why she might think that work interferes with family life, but that I found it very hurtful she said I put work before my children. Not sure what I hoped it would achieve but was told that she'd been biting her tongue for the past 8 years (!!!! can you believe that !!!!) and couldn't hold it any longer. At that point I got upset, said I hated not being at home for the kids and she then kicked me while I was down "I am telling you how it is perceived from an outsider's perspective". She also said DH and I didn't spend enough time with the children. I chose that moment to walk away and sit in the car. DH is furious and wants to cut all ties but I don't think things are that black and white. For all her faults, she's a good granny and it's not fair on the kids to cut that. I have said to DH I am not prepared to have them over for Christmas anymore, but apart from that I am trying hard not to be churlish (sooooo many things I'd like to point out about how she messed up DH's upbringing and how he can never do anything right but his brother is golden child!) . I can feel my hackles rising when I think about her, and am trying to keep myself in check in front of the kids but would be quite happy never to see her again! I sense we'll be distancing ourselves quite a bit. She is free to see the kids, but neither DH or I are in a rush to be near her. Needless to say, she's not being invited to any of DS's future psych sessions!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clur Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 I just wanted to add a big thank you for all the replies, advice, prayers/positive thoughts. I never expected the response I got and it's been very reassuring. Thank you xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaP Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 Clur, you are more than welcome, aren't people on here great Hope you manage to resolve your MIL predicament to some kind of balance. I can't really offer any advice as it is a totally unique situation to you. Even though I did fall out with my MIL and memorably on 2 occasions, she was also a very good Grandma and although she would criticise both me and OH (and his 2 sisters ) to her credit she never made comment in front of, or to our children. We lost her 2 years ago and still miss her terribly. My offer still stands by the way and please feel free to contact me if you want to Lisa P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
