Unsecure chicken perches

[Alis girls]

I hope I'm not the only mum with this. ES15 went to a party last night and slept over at a friends. Got a call this am at 9am from him saying could I pick him up as he was feeling ill. call it mothers intuition but I asked him if he;d had anything to drink. (he has the odd small beer at home with us with a meal prob 1 time a week) He said yes. When I arrived he draped himself over me and said "muuum" - his friends mum who;d had her son and 2 others sleeping over said she'd smelt the alcohol on them. The other 2 looked ok (positively angelic in fact) took ES home - put him to bed with a bottle of water. He had had 2 beers and a sip of vodka.

The parents were there and the alcohol had been brought in by kids.

Hes learnt a valuable lesson in the fact he cant take alcohol, you dont mix drinks and hangovers are pants. Hes apologised and been grounded. Hes at the morose stage now. OH and I are disappointed but dont want to go OTT. I know my best friend whose son is the same age will say "oh we dont let S drink" - if she does I told OH I'd say "yes but hes got a g/f and do you know what they get up too" - I'm just being horrid - had a pooh week at work, my depression is bad at present and this has upset me. Thankfully we had no plans today which we had to change so couldve been worse.

[egglicious]

Hey there, I am american but snooping around in the uk nesting box. Just want to say that I think you're doing a great job as a parent, the proof being that your son actually trusted you enough to tell you the truth. This is so very important. My little one is still a toddler but I remember my teenage years oh so well and I spent the whole time lying and hiding from my parents who were not at all understanding though they loved me very much. It is absolutely normal for teens to push the limits, and they need an adult that they can trust so they don't take it too far. I think even though you are a little miffed at him for the obvious reasons, this experience shows that when times get tough he knows he can come to you. Kudos for being a good mama!

[Cinnamon]

It is a valuable life lesson to learn - the effects of alcohol on your body & ALSO the effect it has on your family as a whole.

 

I am pretty lenient with alcohol. I do buy them Breezers & they have the odd glass of whatever at home (they are 16 & 18),but I am certain that its better for them to know their limits when it comes to drinking.

Neither of them has got truly gazeboed yet ,not to the point of throwing up,but they have both been very tipsy & my eldest had a huge hangover a few weeks ago which she had to work through (HA! )

She has already made the 'never again' speech.

Her very responsible boyfriend drove her home,undressed her & put her to bed....we have spoken about the fact that she may not always have someone to take care of her in such situations

 

The youngest,whose Prom it was a couple of weeks ago,is a bit of a wild child,but 3 kids at the after Prom party,had ambulances called for them,they were so ill.

They are all well brought up children,& I know at least 2 of them are not allowed to drink at home as it is forbidden.....so of course they go out,get as much down their necks as they can & end up in an ambulance

 

I was raised in a Nightclub,where alcohol was available all the time.

At about 14 I decided I wanted to try something more than the wine I had with meals sometimes,& went & got a shot of everything from the bar,downing it all in one.

I have NEVER been so ill in my life,& my parents took video of me drunk,which was mortifying when they showed it to friends & relations later

I never forgot that,ever

[Willow]

I think you're doing a great job as a parent, the proof being that your son actually trusted you enough to tell you the truth. This is so very important.

 

This is so true.

[chickencam]

I agree, keeping communications open with teens, so that they feel able to tell you honestly what they have been upto is very important. This shows that he trusts and respects you, this doesn't mean that he won't stretch your trust of him from time to time thought.

 

I also agree with Sarah, on the banning alcohol thing. I came from a strictly tee-total family and the first time I had alcochol I had no idea about sipping it and got drunk very quickly. I was ill quite a few times as a teenager. I have let mine have wine with meals and at Christmas and New Year etc, and my ED who will be 18 at the end of September has things like Smirnoff Ice etc and can take a few to her friend's houses so long as I know that the parents are there and that they have the same views, which fortunately they do.

[patsylabrador]

I think you've dealt with it brilliantly.

[freddie]

We are at that time with our DS. He's not done it yet, but I imagine it will be very soon!!

Please let me handle it as well as you have, and I'll be happy. The relationship you have with yours is beyond price; well done teenagers,esp boys are not the easiest, and to have achieved the balance you have, you should be writing a book!!!!

[Alis girls]

Thanks everyone - it is nice to know people think we've handled it ok. Hes was very quiet this morning I suspect hes a bit down - just hope his mates dont rib him too much as I think he probably wont handle that well. Hes also a but upset he cant got out this Friday - tough - he'll have to learn. Hes got work experience next week - hopefully that will cheer him up. thanks everyone