Minty_76 Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Hi all I know you guys are al great at listening (well reading) and please excuse my mini rant. I was wondering if anyone else has problems telling their parents and siblings how you feel even though you are an adult! The thing is my middle brother has never moved out of my parents house (he is 33!). He was given a job through by Dad and has never had to lift a finger. His 28 year old girlfriend of 4 years (which he is due to marry next year) comes up to my parents house every weekend (she lives in London at her parents flat). She got pregnant "by accident" last year and the baby is due in the summer. Funnily enough I had a feeling that would happen! Now, they have decided to live at my parents house in the spare room until a years time when they get married. My Mum and me had a fallout over Christmas about the fact they treat us differently (I have a younger brother too) and that he has had everything on a plate given to him. He has no idea about life, bills, responsibilities etc and won't spend any money hence living at home. Does anyone else think this is a bit weird? My parents don't think i have valid opinions even though I am a grown adult with my own house and family and they are very defensive over him. It wouldn't bother me so much but I have a 3 year old little boy who will missing out on his grandparents who live an hour and a half away as there is nowhere for us to stay and as I don't particularly like his girlfriend it will be difficult if she's there all the time. I can't imagine living at my in-laws with a newborn in a spare room as i know how stressful a baby can be especially as they have never even lived together. I can't help thinking they haven't thought this through one bit!!! Sorry about that rant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 You have my sympathy and yes I do think it's a bit odd to go back to the spare room with pregnant girlfriend I guess they don't know yet how stressful a new baby can be and how much his girlfriend especially will want her own space. Whilst it may not seem it you got the better end of the deal, they haven't done him any favours by not making him stand on his own two feet. Shame for your son not to see so much of his grandparents but it can't be helped. I must admit I got a bit selfish about my boys and wasn't bothered much by grandparents who didn't make time to spend with them. I felt it was their loss and it meant I got more time for me I really minded when they were younger and my MIL would act like she was taking them off my hands when she did a (rare) day out. As far as I was concerned I was gracious enough to 'lend' her my lovely boys. It will pass, when the baby comes things will likely change, in the mean time hang in there and try not to mind (easier said than done I know). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty_76 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Share Posted April 1, 2012 Thanks Patricia for that reply. Yeah I don't think my parents have done my brother any favours by keeping him and not even mentioning he should go about his own life. It will be one hell of a shock when he has to pay out for bills and stuff. I think it a little odd that they don't want to live together anyway. I know how isolated you can feel after having a baby and I can't imagine it will be easy at the in-laws with no other mums or friends around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Why not invite your parents to come and see you so your boy can see them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty_76 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Share Posted April 2, 2012 Yeah they do come up occasionally. I think they will have to make the effort more when this new baby comes. However knowing my brother, they will have them as built in baby sitters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel19 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 It is a difficult situation and I can understand your frustration. If he is doing it to save his money whilst they're living with your parents so they have the best chance when they do move out and buy a house after they're married I could understand that a bit more - a baby a wedding and moving out is a lot to do in one year! Yes he should have learnt to be responsible by that age but he will have to learn one day just like the rest of us but some people are different and perhaps he just needs a bit more support and isn't as independant as you and your other brother. If travelling the hour and a half is a difficulty to go and see them and they don't come to see you as much as you would like, why not meet them half way for days out here and there? That would only be 45 mins which surely wouldn't be too much of a hassle for either of you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I feel for you - suspect things might change when new babe keeps whole house awake. Sadly the saying "you can choose friends but not family" rings true. Hope you can get it sorted. Ali x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty_76 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Share Posted April 2, 2012 Thanks everyone. I thought for a moment I might be going mad! Obviously its not a normal situation however my family want to dress it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
