HarrisonFamily Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Sorry for the long story but here goes.... When my Mum died 3 years ago I promised to look after my Aunt who has alzheimers...at the time it had been diagnosed but she still knew what was happening....My Aunt has no other family and hated children so apart from at Christmas we hardly ever saw her as we grew up. Two months after my mum died a cousin turned up from France and moved in with my aunt...at the time she was quite happy for him to be there...since then her Alzheimers has worsened alot, I arranged for a carer to start visiting each morning as my Aunt kept telling me that her cousin had other male visitors or was being unkind, the cousin really unhappy that carer was coming in - I said tough if you are not happy leave....he then went on holiday and did not tell me so police \social services were called when my Aunt locked herself out, I increased the amount of time carer visit to morning and afternoon and told the cousin he had to leave ...agreed date for month later, he asked for 2 week extension as he had booked a ferry back to France, meanwhile I find a large amount of money missing from her account as he has arranged for new central heating too be installed without telling me - his excuse was he was going to tell me when it was all done. When I did a surprise visit today he tried to claim he was there just to say hello...but as he was having breakfast and his room is still full of stuff ..I know that his claim of missing the ferry was a complete lie. I need this cousin to leave because I can not trust him....there is no point throwing him out and getting the locks changed as My Aunt would forget why he has gone and let him back again...So I really have no idea where to start... I also have a full time job...2 small children and live 1 hour away....... Any advice would really be appreciated............................................ (I have lasting power of attorney over my Aunt) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 What an awful situation . I really don't know what to advise, I'm sorry . Are there any other family members who could step in and help you get this guy out? He really is taking advantage of a vulnerable person . Could you tell Social Services of your concerns? Why has he come back from France, doesn't he have a job or family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janepie33 Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 How did the cousin end up being involved? Maybe the Citizen's Advice Bureau would be able to advise you who would be the most helpful services in this situation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarrisonFamily Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 I tried Citizens advice on Friday but they do not give out advice on a Friday......(Which means I will have to try again when working with a house full of children) She is on the 'books' at social services so I guess I can try again...... Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolaLayla Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 This can be a difficult situation if she is deemed as having 'capacity' to make the decision that she wants him to stay with her. I would certainly let her social worker know your concerns and how vulnerable she is. It would be interesting to know what the carers have observed about the interactions between your aunt and cousin. She may have voiced worries to them too. Do you have power of attorney? If so you could move most of her money into an account that you could keep an eye on (even if she had a PIN it sounds as if she would not be able to remember it and pass it on to the cousin) and only have a little in her account for day to day expenses. This would reduce his chance of getting her money. You have to wonder at his reason for being there If it is for cash then this may make him move on. Another concern again if she is deemed able is that he may take her to a lawyer and get her to make a will in his favour. Not wanting to worry you but it is something to consider. Hope you can get this tricky situation sorted out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinsk Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 As well as the advice above would it also be worth asking the police if there is anything they can do? If money is missing it's a crime. Hope you get something sorted out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Getting the police involved was my first instinct too. She is what appears a vulnerable victim of a scammer. Money is missing and if there is no new central heating, it has been stolen by him. Family or otherwise, it is theft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken shack Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I would try and get in touch with his parents in France and let them know what he is up to. Definetly go to the police and possibley get a court injunction to keep him away. I was in a similar situation with my MIL I also had two small children and worked. It was difficult however I didn't have the stress of a 3rd party trying to take advatage. Arrange for all her finacial dealings to you this will stop hime. Seek legal advis asap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 You need to inform Social Services - tell them that that you are reporting a 'safeguarding issue' and that your aunt is being financially abused. Telling them it is a safeguarding issue will require the SS to thoroughly invesitage the problem. Going to the police as a back up would not hurt either. I hope you manage to get this resolved, it sounds very upsetting and a real worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarrisonFamily Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 Well I have just arrived back from my Aunts as she had fallen and the carers could not get in as the key in the key safe had magically swapped to a key that did not fit the lock...the cousin also missing but stuff is still there.. The cousin is in his 70's and so there is no family to contact, the money was used for central heating so nothing has been stolen as far as we are aware. But its the little things that are driving me mad....taking the phone off the hook so I have to drive over to check on her, refusing to answer the phone so that I do not know if he was in when my Aunt locked herself out, not telling me he was going on holiday, being rude to the carers.... I am contacting social services again on Monday ...and a solicitor....and for now going to bed............... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Sounds to me like he's a real danger to her wellbeing . You'd be right to get Social Services involved. What on earth is someone of that age doing behaving like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 It sounds that maybe his mental health is not what it could be either, i hope that you get this sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spinning Top Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Any news ? Sounds like a horrible situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarrisonFamily Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 I had a long chat with both the social services and the local police, both are aware of the situation but the way forward is to contact a solicitor I have increased the carers to 4 times a day to try and keep the cousin away....but he is sneaky enough to hide in the house or down the road in his car....I am visiting her tomorrow so will see what is happening... My latest battle is for the alzheimers specialist clinic to send me her letters....they keep sending her appointments which she forgets to go too so they then sign her off......and they are the specialists Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 For goodness sake, you couldn't make that up . Have the carers been informed of the situation? Can they report back to you if they find anything untoward? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
