charly1979 Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 I too wish that I could offer something that could help but just to say stay strong and sending my best to you xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Hugs from me too. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place, damned if you do and damned if you don't. I hope things sort themselves out for you and your family very soon x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 What a mess, and what a horrible thing to be going through. Do you know what time she called you on Saturday? Did it coincide with the time that you were meant to be there having tea, by any chance? If so, could you raise that point with SW? Keep a diary of your contact with her - phone records will back this up if necessary. Also, make sure you have a detailed log of the whole history typed up - dates, bullet points, and details. You can go back through the threads on here to help you remember dates and details. Take that along to the meeting as well. If necessary you can explain that you were at your wits end and so you asked on a forum for help, and that's how you've got records of what happened when. Try not to say which forum it is though, do not forget that this is a public forum and people can read what's posted without having to register. What about the carer who knows that it is your brother who has been causing trouble? Can you get her involved? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 People with dementia can be very convincing. I am surprise the SW takes everything your mum tells her as written in stone. You have plenty of proof and as someone suggested the forum as all your entries. Good luck - my dad has mild vascular dementia and 90% time is fine then has a blip and can talk what seems like sense but isnt. Ali x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C&T Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 Can you escalate up the SW chain? Say you are concerned that your Mum is being taken at face value when clearly has dementia? Don't know if possible, so frustrating when you know you are acting in your mums best interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 Thanks for the suggestions . I have already used all my ramblings on here to make up a timeline of events (right back to when my dad went into hospital). I've also started keeping a diary of communications with mum and the carer. However, thankfully I think we're getting somewhere. I've literally just had a call from SW - she has seen mum and although she was unwilling for me to be PoA (she's scared it gives me the right to boss her about ) she was persuaded it was a better option than guardianship so it's going ahead (with the lawyer as 2nd PoA). The SW has at last spoken to my brother who apparently has been accusing me of .... what, she wouldn't say. This mediation is just something they will be recommending, not something that they will insist upon. So that won't be happening any time soon . So, I'll see mum once a week (maximum) but I'm not to mention wills, PoA or my brother. I've to read a lengthy code of conduct for being PoA and they will be monitoring things to see I don't do anything I shouldn't. Not quite sure how this all protects mum from my brother who can basically do whatever he wants if he chooses to visit her. Hopefully, though the knowledge that I am PoA and will be keeping an eye on things, will be enough to deter him. At least the SW did acknowledge that his actions were wrong and mine weren't. Pity there are people who can't be told that so still think I'm in the wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 I really hope that things continue to move in a positive direction for you ANH, you have been through the mill and back with your mum (or should I say, your brother) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...