Solitary chicken - need advice

[Shirl]

I only scored 2 so that makes me an insensitive sole.

[xScrunchee]

I only scored 2 so that makes me an insensitive sole.

 

 

I think that the point of the test is not to show sensitivity or insensitivity, purely if someone falls into the 'highly sensitive person' group so a low score just means that the person is probably not 'highly sensitive' that is not to say that the person is insensitive

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I scored 5.

 

I also worry about self-fulfilling prophecy and how we can change how people behave just by labelling them

 

I often think that about some of the kids I work with (in a school for autistic children). Some of them have been "labelled" at such a young age, there seems no chance of them ever "changing their label" - they're somehow not expected to.

[Janty]

Energetic children have ADHD.

 

I have a son with ADHD. It's not that I have rushed into having him labelled due him being energetic. He has between two and four hours sleep a night and then he is ready for the day. When you have a full time teaching job and your son is waking you up several times a night and then he gets up for the day between four and five o'clock (bright as a button) and he never feels tired,it is exhausting. In our son's case he was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers. We knew as teachers that he had Aspergers due to his lack of understanding and problems with social situation, etc. but we were surprised about the ADHD mainly due to the lack of behaviour problems. Most of the ADHD diagnosed children that we see through school have behaviour issues.

 

I do agree that too many children are simply given pills for ADHD due to their poor behaviour but it isn't the case with all families. This morning, my son woke me up at half past four to go out and play tennis. We walked down to the courts, played tennis and got back home at about a quarter to seven. Whilst I cooked breakfast, he bounced on his trampoline. Just before 10am Hubby took him out to Saturday football club. He will come home at one-ish, have a bite to eat and then he will be rearing to go again.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Janty, I hope I didn't offend you with my comment. I have no personal experience of autism or ADHD just through my work. Most of the kids I see most definitely have a correct diagnosis, there are just a few who I wonder about (and the teachers do too) if the label really is correct.

 

Diagnosis must extremely hard in some borderline cases so I can understand why it happens.

 

I take my hat off to parents of children with autism/Aspergers/ADHD. I don't know how they cope.

[xScrunchee]

In my case I was actually very happy to discover that there is a name for how I feel.

I have spent my whole life wondering what the heck is wrong with me and why I think and feel how I do.

I look at my siblings and have always admired how they get on with life and how they appear to breeze through certain situations that I would struggle with mentally.

I was bought up in a secure, loving family and I have no issues with my upbringing however, I was constantly being told throughout my childhood that I was too shy, too fussy, too clingy, too sensitive and things like that by family, family friends and teachers.

As an adult I am still the same exept I try to put on a front as I have now been led to believe that being shy, sensitive, fussy etc are personality faults and signs of weakness.

I never realised that I was highly sensitive, I just thought that I was odd. I never understood why certain things would upset me or get me down so much. I then decided that I should try my best to hide the real me and just show people what they want to see. What society wants to see.

Everyone told me that I needed to 'toughen up' so all that taught me was that I was different to everybody else. "Ooops, word censored!"ody told me that it was ok to be different so in my mind different=weird.

 

For the first time in my life it all makes sense. I am different-we all are and it's ok to be me

 

I will not bring my children up with a label yet I will let them know that they are fine to be who and how they are regardless of other people's comments.

I do believe that if I was not constantly put down and faulted-I would have grown into a more confident person, instead of a 'pretend' confident person. So, I'm happy to have found a little label that sits better with me than the other labels I was given

[Janty]

Janty, I hope I didn't offend you with my comment. I have no personal experience of autism or ADHD just through my work. Most of the kids I see most definitely have a correct diagnosis, there are just a few who I wonder about (and the teachers do too) if the label really is correct.

 

Diagnosis must extremely hard in some borderline cases so I can understand why it happens.

 

I take my hat off to parents of children with autism/Aspergers/ADHD. I don't know how they cope.

 

Sorry, I didn't take any offence at what you said at all. I was mainly answering an earlier post. I do feel that in life we are all labelled, rightly or wrongly but I would rather my son was acknowledged as autistic / ADHD and cut a bit of slack by his peers / other people rather than be labelled as wierd or odd....let's face it, we have all seen people in our past who we have taken a dislike to or seen as a bit mad when with hindsight they may be somewhere on the autistic spectrum or have other special needs.

 

May I also point out that teachers do NOT label / diagnose children with ADHD / Aspergers, etc but it is the health care professionals who take on this role when children are referred to them.

 

Sorry about my rants but I do think that in general lately in the media and elsewhere there is a lot of teacher bashing. We do have poor examples just like any profession but the majority of us work reallly hard.

 

Apologies again.

 

Jan

[Snowy]

Interesting what you said Jay about feeling the odd one out in your family because you were different. I find this a fascinating subject - learning to understand each others character traits and how different personality types are good at different things. On a recent course we were asked to do a Kolb Learning inventory. Basically it asks questions about how you learn things best, ie by reading, doing, listening etc, and then puts you into a category. No surprises when I got my results, but when I got home I did it on my 16 year old son. I was getting frustrated with him because of the options he had chosen and his apparent lack of direction. Turns out he is the complete opposite to me and he was actually looking at subjects that would lead to the perfect potential careers for him Taught me to back off and let him be himself more (even though I thought that is what I was doing anyway!) Result is a much happier son and a content mother not trying to push him in the wrong direction!

 

Anyway, a long ramble, but just trying to say these type of things are quite useful in helping us focus on who/what we are all about

[xScrunchee]

Hi all,

For those of you who are interested I have recently set up a highly sensitive people chat board on Yahoo.

 

If you feel you would like to join-please do.

 

Even if you scored quite low on the Elaine Aron test yet feel that you are a HSP and would like to chat with like minded people then you will be very welcome Some people feel that they could do with the support, if not then that's great too

 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HSPUK/

[The Dogmother]

I haven't doen the test, but will probably fall into the same sort of score as Snowy by the sounds of it. Any sensitivity on my part depends largely on how much sleep I've had

[Yorkshire Pudding]

I scored 2, but I don't think that means I'm insensitive, just not HIGHLY sensitive. However in my job I often have to work out what is upsetting some very highly sensitive children and I've had to learn to think in a different way to do it. As Claret says, that's much easier if I've had a good night's sleep!

 

Many children who attend our department have a diagnosis or a label; as Janty rightly points out this is usually a good thing and leads to their receiving the support and consideration they need, but we also have some children whose 'label' really doesn't fit and may be more of a hindrance than a help.

 

Some parents spend such a long time seeking a reason for why their child seems different to others, that to have a diagnosis must be a huge reassurance. Sad to say though, in a very few cases I have known parents who are serving their own needs rather than their child's needs, by seeking diagnoses or labels for things that either aren't really problems, or aren't really the child's problems.

 

This is really not an attempt to cast aspersions at anyone on the forum, I wouldn't do that as I find you all to be pleasant, sensible, inteliigent people, so please don't take offence! It's simply an observation on something I have seen several times over through my job and found very sad for the children concerned.

[Steph101]

I scored 24. I sound similiar to Poet. Little things worry me, but I cope well in a big crisis. My husband nearly died five years ago and was on a life support machine for five weeks after undergoing major chest surgery, and was given a five per cent chance of survival. I just seemed to go on auto pilot, but it did affect me. I felt I was hyperventilating sometimes.

My son, who is twelve, was diagnosed with PDD NOS last year (similiar to Aspergers) and is academically on the high achieving end of the autistic spectrum, which is one of the reasons why it took so long to get a diagnosis. I have always been over sensitive, highly sensitive, whatever you want to call it. Little thoughts comments are hurtful to me. I try (probably unsuccessfully) not to show it though.

[Dinkychick]

I got 16.boo grumble moan

 

Im sensative to lots of people being around me and find it exhausting.

I cant multi task very well, so if my family visit for a cup of tea and they are all talking to me at once i cant remember how to make the tea lol. I cant count change at work whilst being talked to nor can i write and listen to mention a few things.... maybe they are normal?

I jump quite a bit.

I find alot of perfumes, cleaning products, and artifical sweetners make me feel rather ill.

And agree with Steph that little comments are hurtful.

Yes i worry alot but then im also labelled as Bi-polar so that makes me grumpy to haha

[Ana's flock]

Yesterday it was my youngest boy's 7th birthday. We had about 10 boys and 1 girl aged between 6 and 11 playing around in the garden. We prepared the food and ensured all of them had something (healthy) to eat.

 

They had a great time. They behaved well (for a garden water fight party!).

 

I thoroughly enjoyed it, specially when their parents came to collect them and we all stayed chatting and nibbling at the food for a while. That was very nice, as I spend most of the time on my own with very little adult company (husband has been doing PhD work for the last 10 years, so I can only disturb him if I need to say something important - we only get to have a 'chat' if we're in a restaurant having a meal = blue moon!).

 

Yet at some times when all the little ones wanted to hold the rats at the same time and it got really noisy... I wanted to find a dark hole and climb in! I even started to feel a bit 'panicky' which is not like me at all, but all the buzzying and crazy energy around was really getting to me. I managed to calm them down a bit and ended up putting the ratties back into their cages as 'they were getting tired' from all the fuss...

 

Last night I was totally exhausted. Now, the boys are at school and I was about to get stuck in with some SAGE bookkeeping, but my brain is just not up to it... still very tired... I think I'm going for a nap before I face the figures, otherwise I'll have to spend the afternoon in the 'corrections' screen after the morning's brainlessness... tut tut tut!

 

That's what normally happens when I spend time in an overstimulating environment... brain exhaustion! Yet I can spend hours painting (creative activity) or even bookkeeping (boring!) and as long as things are calm around me I'm perfectly OK!

 

It's all the unfocussed and disrupted energetic activity that gets me... anyone else gets like that or is it just me? age-related perhaps...?

 

Ana

[Egluntyne]

I think you've hit on something there Ana....I always feel pooped for a couple of days after an exciting event and I also think that children feel like this more than we realise, and too much over stimulation and excitement can lead to fractiousness.

 

We all need to veg out at times.

[chickencam]

I agree I don't think people realise that children just need down time sometimes they don't always have to have something to do.

 

So far this morning mine have been finding where i am and what I am doing and just perching nearby and chatting to me and each other. I can find this a bit frustrating sometimes because I need time on my own but having said that I love just hanging out and chatting to them and I think that not enough famillies really comminicate enough with each other. You find out all sorts in these informal chats and it is a good way to keep in tough with them and for them to open up without feeling threatened.

[The Dogmother]

You're so right Liz - they need to go through that boredom bit to find out how to be creative.