bracken Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 We gave our eldest one of our old phones when we updated to new ones. He is fourteen. He has just started going out with friends now that he's managed to settle in to school after being moved from one school because of bullying He has so far been the type of teenager that usually says he is going out for a couple of hours,but normally ends up coming back after half hour. The last few times though have been a different matter We have had to go out and hunt for him. It least when i know he has his mobile on him i can find out where he is. And you can guarantee that nine out of ten times he will ring me to fetch him because he's too damn idle to walk back. The youngest has one of our old phones too,but he's not bothered whether he's got one or not? But,we always know where he is at the moment,he's had the same good friend all the way through nursery,infant,junior and into secondary school. Just wish our eldest could be the same,which would make life a lot simpler,but,thats kids for you,aint it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I've been slightly hesitant on posting on this one because I'm afraid I might end up inadvertantly falling into the bad mother category as far as some of you are concerned My children have mobiles.... yes, both of them, even Imy who's only 13 . And, yes, they're allowed to use them, even to talk to friends. We do have rules, very firm ones, they both have lines which they are not allowed to cross, I firmly believe that young people need, and indeed want (despite what they sometimes say) definite boundaries, and one of them is no mobiles in bedrooms.... in fact no mobiles used in the house.... they're mobiles for goodness sake Odd that I feel I need to defend or justify my decision to allow them to have phones, but I need to know where they are, what they're doing.... and like Kate, did they manage to get the bus safely home from school. I'm not foolish enough to imagine that having a mobile will keep them safe in all situations, but it makes feel feel happier. There's threats and dangers in all modern technology and I'm very aware of the risks, believe me, so I take steps to minimise the risks wherever possible, and I work with my children, keeping communication open, gradually allowing a little more freedom and displaying a little more trust as they prove to me that they deserve it. Teenagers are in a very confusing stage of transition, not a child, not yet an adult, and they need guidance and support and discipline all the way along the line, but I can't tie them to my apron strings I don't think. As a family we're a team, everyone has to pull their weight, and we all have to work to gain respect and rewards. I have no idea whether my philosophy is right.... this is the first time that I've tried to bring up children, and I didn't get a set of instructions with them, so I'm trying to do my best, certainly getting it right some of the time and learning by my mistakes the rest. My final comment is that my outlook is hugely influenced by the fact that I have a very damaged relationship with my mother, stemming from childhood. I'm struggling not to repeat what I percieve as her mistakes.... but I'm sure that I'm managing to make plenty of my own So, mobiles (with rules and good communication) are fine by me. In fact I love them.... the poor children just can't escape me as I text out a request to know where they are and isn't it about time that they come home for dinner which is sitting on the table and going cold! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I think the important thing in this discussion is not whether we're good or bad parents for giving our children phones but that we've weighed up what we think is right for our particular children. They are all different. Some are more streetwise than others so the reasons for allowing them to have a phone are different for each and every one of them. We all know our children well enough to decide if they are responsible enough and can make our decisions accordingly. There's nothing good or bad about us giving or not giving our children phones so long as we've looked at the child carefully and have done what we think is right for them . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bracken Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Very well said!! The most important thing at the end of the day is the safety of our children. You may find that sometimes you think your kids are taking the micky when it comes to messing with their phones. But at least they have the means to contact you if they need you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunee1 Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 Agreed, every child is individual and it is down to us parents to make what we feel is the right choise for them........ This forum has been great to voice opinions and has made me look at several issues in a different light....where would we be without it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 *They do not lend them to anyone. An excellent rule! Duncan, near the end of P3, lent his watch to the class 'tearaway', then couldn't get it back. The school became involved, and they in turn threated to involve the police. It all got a bit stupid, but Duncan eventually got his watch back on the last day of term, and learned a valuable lesson on the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bracken Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 CONFUSED (refering to Bunees last comment) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheilaz Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 Why? I think she was just saying what a useful discussion it was & how good our forum is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunee1 Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 That's right Sheila.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
