Warm boot recommendations please

[Richard T]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has embezzled ten million bucks from him. This book-keeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit and was why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.

 

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the book-keeper about his missing ten million bucks, he brings along his attorney who knows sign language.

 

The Godfather asks the book-keeper, "Where is the ten million bucks you embezzled from me?"

 

The attorney, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the ten million dollars is hidden.

 

The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

 

The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

 

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it, and says, "Ask him again!"

 

The attorney signs to the underling, "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

 

The book-keeper signs back, "Okay! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens."

 

The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say"?

 

The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

 

 

Richard T

[Cinnamon]

I like it!

[Guest]

Richard - go and lock yourself in the shed...

 

 

Phil

[Richard T]

Richard - go and lock yourself in the shed...

 

 

Phil

 

If you'd asked, "Would you like to go and lock yourself in the shed?" That would have been an offer I wouldn't have wanted to refuse.

 

My new shed in my new garden will be "lock-myself-in-able". And I'll be able to sit in there undisturbed and come up with even more jokes.

 

 

Richard T-hee

[The Dogmother]

The Boy wants a workshop like that, but I'm not sure who he wants to lock himself away from as he lives on his own

[Guest]

My new shed in my new garden will be "lock-myself-in-able". And I'll be able to sit in there undisturbed and come up with even more jokes.

 

Richard T-hee

 

I want one!!!!

 

P-hil-arity

[Cinnamon]

The Hubby has 3 sheds & one massive garage,complete with comfy chair,loo, TV with Sky multi room & beer fridge.

 

Its great ,I hardly see him

[One Man Banned]

[kazaddress]

Some primary schools were doing a project on "THE SEA." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones.

 

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

 

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.

(Christopher age 7)

 

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

 

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

 

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)

 

A dolphin breathes through an ásshole on the top of its head. (Billy age

 

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

 

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6) ((Gee - I wondered that myself!))

 

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my wílly shrink. (Kevin age 6)

 

CHEERS AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!

[HappyHen]

 

Still