Installing Indoor Cat Tree

[PurpleHen]

PET RULES

 

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

 

Dear Dogs and Cats,

 

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

 

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

 

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

 

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the k"Ooops, word censored!" or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

 

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

 

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

 

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

 

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

 

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

 

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3 Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

[Guest]

 

Very funny, and all so true, apart form one little comment

 

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

 

1. Eat less

 

MOST pets eat less, unless they are called Tigger the One-eyed wonder, who continues to go through a ton of dry food every week, and then polishes off Hartleys kitten food!

[The Dogmother]

Sounds like Biscuit Shona - apparently when he came round at the vets yesterday, he wasn't the slightest bit worried about where his nadgers had gone, just in getting the breakfast he'd missed

 

Nice one Jackie!

[Karen & co.]

 

Very good!

 

karen x

[kazaddress]

fabulous

[theherd123]

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

 

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3 Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. [/color]

 

Just love this bit - think i will put it up in my office at work and if the kids get on my nerves it may even go in my classroom!!!

[gooner.girl]

Just love it! And with a dog and 2 cats that lie in wait on the stairs for me first thing in the morning when i'm not very awake it certainly rings true!

[hillfamily]

PET RULES

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I actually bought a King Size bed just so that the cat would have a bit more room

[Paola]

Love it

[Happy-Mama]

Excellent, printing it off now

[One Man Banned]

the bit about racing up and down the stairs is very appropriate for Molly

 

We race each other if I have to go upstairs - 4:5 times she beats me!